Star Trek: The Next Generation - Genesis Is Completely Ridiculous, In a Good Way

So I was sitting in the living room, too tired to do anything productive, too awake to call it a night, and after one flatulence joke too many from Craig Ferguson, I grabbed the remote, whereupon I was reminded of that glorious, albeit inconveniently late, time slot during which Star Trek: The Next Generation is on WGN. So I settled in for Genesis, an episode I’d never seen before. It features one of my favorite minor players, jittery Lieutenant Barclay (Dwight Schulz), and it starts off with the promising scene of Data (Brent Spiner) undergoing a consultation regarding his pregnant cat, Spot.

Some of my favorite moments in the series involve this cat, including Data’s reading of his own poetic composition, An Ode to Spot, and his range of emotions concerning her fate in Star Trek: Generations, so I figured her appearance was a good sign. And who can resist the promise of kittens? Unfortunately, while Spot does play a key role in the plot, we see very little of her, and even less of her and Data together - and in one of those scenes, her appearance is decidedly different. In high school, I witnessed the taping of a commercial spoofing The Wizard of Oz that co-starred an iguana as Toto. The fact that it made no sense whatsoever added to the humor. It’s supposed to make sense that fluffy Spot transforms into an iguana before the episode is out, but it never really does. This is one weird episode. But it’s very entertaining.

I was surprised to see that Genesis originally aired in March. It definitely struck me as a Halloween episode, sort of Treehouse of Horror TNG-style. Beware the Ides, and beware the episode’s premise if you want to avoid scratching your head in confusion or shaking it in exasperation. The whole thing plays out like a spoof of cheesy horror movies as various members of the crew begin demonstrating strange behavior before undergoing startling changes to their physiology.

Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) becomes unbearably chilly; Will Riker (Jonathan Frakes) can’t hold onto his train of thought; hypochondriac Barclay becomes hyperactive. Most noticeably, Worf (Michael Dorn) becomes unaccountably surly, which is initially funny but grows worrisome as the episode wears on. Even Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) is beginning to exhibit symptoms of paranoia. Data alone is unaffected, and it’s up to him to put on his Sherlock Holmes cap and figure out just what is going on.

Genesis goes in a much different direction than I anticipated. It’s one of the funniest TNG episodes I’ve seen, in a campier-than-the-original-series kind of way. I’m not sure it was supposed to be so silly, but really, once Deanna sprouts gills, it’s hard to take anything that happens in the episode too seriously. But boy, it sure made me chuckle...

Inclement Weather Brings People Together in Twister

In honor of National Poetry Month, I've decided to try writing some reviews in rhymed verse.  My second attempt is of the 1996 movie Twister, an action-packed flick starring Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton as estranged spouses thrown together in pursuit of a terrifying tornado.  The special effects still look pretty impressive to me after 13 years - though I suspect flying cows will always look a bit silly...  I love that the movie features two actors from LOST (Jeremy Davies and Sean Whalen), a show which, like Twister, makes repeated reference to The Wizard of Oz, and that Philip Seymour Hoffman again manages to steal the show every time he's in a scene.  Tornadoes have always freaked me out, so I wasn't all that interested in seeing this, but I'm glad I did.

Twister
A twister is a brutal bit of weather
That leaves a trail of chaos in its wake.
If one touched down near me, my plan would be to flee,
So chasing one would cause my limbs to quake.

But Dr. Harding has her act together.
This scientist will Hunt, as well she should.
Determined to be brave if there's a chance to save
The helpless, she works for the greater good.

Her passion got its start with childhood trauma.
She's felt the terror of a Level Five,
And sometimes, in her dreams, she still can hear her screams
As Daddy died ensuring she'd survive.

It's almost vengeance, then, that drives the drama
Of seeking storms of monstrous appetite.
And now the moment's here.  The gale of her career
Is just about to roar into her sight.

She has her faithful science team behind her,
A band of geeks (and future castaways)
Who thrive upon this thrill.  Her erstwhile husband, Bill,
And his new love turn up now, of all days.

As if the doctor needed a reminder
Of her obsession's unrelenting cost!
But thrown into the fray, can Bill honestly say
That he feels no regret for what he lost?

A romance is rekindled through the danger,
And in the trenches, comedy is found
As Hoffman leads the pack in keeping smiles intact
While homes are swiftly lifted from the ground.

Though Michael Crichton's movies have been stranger,
The chance of cloning dinos is remote,
While killer twisters are a greater threat by far.
What's scarier?  I think this gets my vote.

The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's: "I Don't Think We're in Kansas Anymore, Tutu..."

Though Halloween isn't for another three weeks, while working at the mall today, I saw a little girl of three or four prancing down the concourse in a sparkling blue and white checkered dress with matching hair bows and a dazzling pair of red slippers. Completing the glittery ensemble was a small basket clutched in her fist and containing a stuffed Toto-sized dog. As she knelt by my kiosk and delightedly studied the Wizard of Oz calendar, I couldn't help but wonder if this adorable young Dorothy would approve of The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's, the latest VeggieTales feature from innovative Christian company Big Idea. After all, there is no pig-tailed Gale singing wistfully and clicking her heels together. Indeed, the hero has no heels to click together because he is an asparagus. But that doesn't make his journey any less magical...

Darby is the son of a poor farmer, and as the tale opens upon a dusty, sepia-drenched Kansas landscape, he is disgusted by his father's response to his plea to visit the Land of Ha's, a fantastic amusement park a neighbor told him about. Determined to see this place for himself immediately despite his dad's desperate financial straits, he snatches up his college fund and takes off with his little pig Tutu for a grand adventure that will look very familiar to anyone who has ever seen The Wizard of Oz or read the Biblical story of the prodigal son.

Several previous Veggie installments have put a new twist on a tale from the Bible: Joseph and Moses in the Old West; Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in a bunny factory; Naomi and Ruth in the Middle Ages. Others have used classic literature and pop culture to illustrate Judeo-Christian values: Don Quixote and Sherlock Holmes for being a good friend; Indiana Jones for turning the other cheek; Lord of the Rings for using one's gifts wisely. But this is really the first time that both things have happened at once, and the result is a surprisingly seamless fusion of stories. I never realized how perfectly the narratives lend themselves to one another, but it really works.

As in so many other Veggie adventures, little Junior Asparagus is the protagonist, which makes the story extra accessible right off the bat, since he is such an Everykid. His patient, affectionate dad comes into the series often, always gently guiding his son along the right path, though Junior, even in the guise of Darby, needs a little first-hand experience before the message really sinks in. While Mom Asparagus doesn't show up as the Auntie Em figure, nearly every other major character from the 1939 film gets a nod, from the farmhands/scarecrow-tin man-lion (Mr. Lunt, Larry and Pa Grape) and the Munchkins (French Peas) to Glinda (Madame Blueberry), the Wicked Witch (the bully from Minnesota Cuke) and the Wizard (Archibald).

Whenever an homage to the film is possible, this feature makes it, while throwing in such silly jokes as a cameo from Mary Poppins in the twister scene. Visually, it couldn't be more appealing, from Darby's rickety farm and the dazzling pint-sized town in which he lands to the mesmerizing field of puppies and the exhilarating Land of Ha's. There's an abundance of music in this installment, with spoofs of Wizard of Oz tunes Somewhere Over the Rainbow, The Munchkin Land Song, Follow the Yellow Brick Road, We're Off to See the Wizard, Optimistic Voices and The Merry Old Land of Oz.

It's one of the funniest Veggie offerings in quite a while, with so many Oz-related sight gags, puns and all manner of silliness. Speaking of which, I adore the silly song, which is much simpler in terms of lyrics, props and instrumentation than most recent efforts have been; in this case, less is more as, with a jungle beat background, Larry, on safari with Bob, explains the difference between a monkey and an ape, while Bob doubts Larry's logic. The lively back-and-forth is reminiscent of such back-and-forth bantering numbers as The Dance of the Cucumber and I Love My Duck, and it's the most likely song on this DVD to get stuck in your head all week.

Of course, in this midst of all this zaniness, there is the parable of the prodigal son, which really has a two-fold message: not to squander your parents' - and God's - blessings, and not to be afraid to return and ask forgiveness. There's a not-so-subtle subtext involving healthy eating habits that parents should appreciate; the crop that Darby's father harvests is dental floss, while the tantalizing cotton candy the lion craves gives him a stomachache after he overindulges.

This is probably the last Veggie video that fans will get before the arrival of the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything movie on the big screen in January. It's probably not an accident that the scarecrow, tin man and lion are portrayed by that same lovably lazy trio; their charming roles in The Wonderful Wizard of Ha's just whet my appetite for the main entree. If it's anywhere near as exceptional as this, we're in for quite a treat!