Chipmunks in Low Places Squeal in My Ears on Squirrel Appreciation Day

Today, in honor of Squirrel Appreciation Day, I am filling my ears with the closest thing I can find to squirrel-centric music: Alvin and the Chipmunks. After all, chipmunks have, over the years, been known as “chip squirrels,” “striped squirrels” and “ground squirrels,” so I think they qualify. Chipmunks in Low Places has a lot of squeaky voices, but it also features quite a few folks with normal voices. That’s because it’s an all-star country album, loaded with special guests that will be familiar to anyone who enjoys country music.

Country Pride - This harmonica-heavy opener starts out slow and forlorn before the rollicking piano and wailing electric guitar kicks it up a notch. Alvin takes the lead on this track that is a dizzying ode to country superstars. Have a listen to this album original and see if you can catch them all; he drops 32 names, ranging from Gene Autry to Clint Black, making this about the most crowded song since Rock and Roll Heaven. “Country colors are shades of Sawyer Brown, / Red Foley, Lee Greenwood, I love all those sounds. / I get hungry for some country when I think of Jimmy Dean / Then I get a Reba Mac attack; my appetite's obscene.”

Achy Breaky Heart - Head Chipette Brittany drops by the studio to ask Alvin permission to sit in on their recording session. “I’ll pretend Billy Ray is singing to me,” she gushes. Little does she expect Billy Ray Cyrus to actually show up, sending her into a full swoon. A lot of cute dialogue accompanies this infectious song that dominated the airwaves for what seemed like years when I was in elementary school. Alvin hopes the song will make him a chick magnet; Simon is understandably skeptical, while affable Billy Ray just seems tickled that the Chipmunks who entertained him as a kid are now covering his song. “You can tell your ma I moved to Arkansas / Or you can tell your dog to bite my leg / Or tell your brother Cliff, whose fist can tell my lips / He never really liked me anyway...”

There Ain't Nothing Wrong With the Radio - I’m not familiar with Aaron Tippin, but as a grammar geek, I love the banter he and intellectual Simon share. Simon, who insists on calling his special guest “Mr. Tippin,” takes creative license by fixing all of the grammatical mistakes in the song, starting with “There isn’t anything wrong with the radio.” So what if it doesn’t quite scan? And so what if the changes make initially friendly Aaron red in the face? Again, Aaron doesn’t sing, he merely comments on Simon’s performance - and his comments become more and more irritated with each altered “ain’t”. Very fun song.

Stand by Your Man - Jealous Brittany is in a huff because Alvin evidently has been making eyes at Minnie Mouse and Miss Piggy. She’s supposed to record Stand By Your Man, but she’s so frustrated by her “thoughtless furball” that she can barely bring herself to do it. Tammy Wynette drops by to help get her in the proper mindset, but things don‘t go exactly as planned... “But if you love him you'll forgive him / Even though he's hard to understand, / And if you love him, / Oh be proud of him / 'Cause after all he's just a man.”

Gotta Believe in Pumpkins - Alvin sings this piano-driven inspirational ballad beautifully, up until the portion toward the end when he hams it up William Shatner-style, but it’s hard to take it seriously as a rousing anthem, even when the choir chimes in for the last chorus. That’s because the context is Alvin receiving - or, rather, ignoring - a lecture from perpetually irritated guardian Dave Seville about the deplorable state of his room. Rather reminiscent of Alvin’s Orchestra from my favorite Chipmunks album, Sing Again with the Chipmunks, this original song is pure melodic mayhem. “Faith is just like planting seeds, / They help your dreams come true. / Believe in what's around you, / and good things will come to you.”

Brothers and Old Boots - Charlie Daniels steps in to break up a fight among the three brothers on this song written especially for the album. For the first time on this CD, the special guest actually sings, to the accompaniment of heart-rending violins. It’s a touching performance, at least from him; Alvin, Simon and Theodore, however, seem a little less than sincere, particularly as they alter choice lyrics. Will the message ever sink in? “Now you know there will be days / you'll think of 50 different ways / to put their little bodies in a cast. / But if someone gives you trouble, / you can bet that it’s your brother, / 'Cus bozos and old boots are made to last.”

Don't Rock the Jukebox - Alan Jackson stops by to join the boys in their recording, and before the singing starts, he confesses to some trepidation. Alvin, he’s heard, is notoriously difficult to work with. Alvin protests, but Simon figures that’s a pretty accurate assessment. A fun song, though I’m not sure what Alan is worried about since he doesn’t seem to be actually participating, unless he’s playing an instrument. “I don’t feel like rocking / Since my baby's gone, / So don’t rock the jukebox; / Play me a country song.”

Down at the Twist and Shout - It’s hoe-down time for the Chipmunks and Dave, who is eager to demonstrate what a great dancer he is as his boys sing this cheerful Mary Chapin Carpenter song. But judging by the agonized noises he keeps making, it’s not going so well... “Saturday night and the moon is out. / I wanna head on over to the Twist and Shout, / Find a two-step partner and a Cajun beat. / When it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet.”

Outlaws - Alvin declares Waylon Jennings his hero as fiddle music plays in the background. He rhapsodizes about how cool it would be to live as an outlaw, while Waylon counters with the less palatable aspects of such a lifestyle. The back-and-forth singing is fun, with inventive lyrics and relentless percussion, and Alvin’s not-so-contrite confession of sins is pretty memorable. Another terrific song that seems to have been written especially for this album. “Robbin' banks and buyin' candy / And eat it all - all by myself. / I'd buy a brand new bike and skateboard / For me to ride and no one else. // It ain't no fun to be an outlaw / When there's a posse on your trail. / It ain't no fun to be an outlaw / Behind some bars - in a jail.”

I Feel Lucky - Another Mary Chapin Carpenter song, and a pretty rockin’ one, with lots of honky-tonk piano. The Chipettes have this song to themselves, and they seem to be doing their best to make themselves as alluring to the guys as possible. Real men, that is; evidently they’ve had it with lads of their own species. Energetic, but as it’s neither an original nor accompanied by dialogue, it feels a little flat in comparison to the other tracks. The only really distinct thing here is that a couple of lines have been sanitized for younger audiences. “Now eleven million later, I was sitting at the bar. / I'd bought the house a double, and the waitress a new car. / Dwight Yoakam's in the corner, trying to catch my eye / Lyle Lovett's comin’ over; I’m tryin’ not to sigh.”

I Ain't No Dang Cartoon - Another original song concludes the album. Alvin sings his life story as guitars twang and low-voiced guys croon in the background. The most famous of the Chipmunks sounds more countryish on this song than any other, at times lapsing into some shrieks that test the tolerance of one’s ears. Incensed at being underestimated and wearing his ego on his sleeve, he compares himself to such towering figures as Albert Einstein, Christopher Columbus and Desmond Tutu. My only complaint? That Dave never cuts in to try putting Alvin in his place. “ My face has been on plates and cups, / Bed sheets, a baby’s potty, / PJs, lunch pails, / Shoes and gowns, / From nice to semi-gaudy. / But that don't mean I'm just a joke / And don't deserve respect. / I may have a tail and be covered with fur, / But I ain't nobody's pet.”

This album, released in 1992, was one of the Chipmunks’ most popular albums, which isn’t too surprising considering all of the crossover potential. It peaked at number six on the Billboard Top Country Albums chart and managed to go platinum. It’s fun to hear the Chipmunks interact with all those acclaimed singers, but what I really love is how they put their unique Chipmunks stamp on every song (with the possible exception of I Feel Lucky). Thanks to the surrounding dialogue, the covers are funny, and the originals are clever and full of personality, so even though country isn’t a genre I listen to that often, I can happily say that Chipmunks in Low Places is one of the best Chipmunks albums I’ve ever heard.

Honky Tonk Christmas Displays Alan Jackson at his Country-est

September 11th, 2001 inspired many songwriters to craft musical responses to one of the greatest tragedies in America’s history. Among the many 9-11 songs that emerged, the one that resonated with me most deeply was a humble reflection that acknowledged how many different reactions there were, condemning none while gently encouraging listeners to consider that “Faith, hope and love are some good things [God] gave us, and the greatest is love.” That song was Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning) by Alan Jackson, and I have been a fan ever since.

This year, I decided it was high time I checked out his Christmas albums. Honky Tonk Christmas came out in 1993, and there’s no mistaking that it’s a country album. Most of the songs here are unfamiliar to me, which makes it more interesting, and though I listen to this genre of music only occasionally, I find the overt country flavor quite fun, and sometimes touching. One thing I’ve always appreciated about country music is that so much of it is narrative, and there are some great stories to be found here.

1. A Honky Tonk Christmas - A very twangy lament in which the speaker bemoans the loss of a love but asserts, “I’ll be over you by New Year’s Eve.” Too peppy to be depressing, it boasts verses full of amusing turns of phrase. A fun start to the album.

2. The Angels Cried - A lovely duet with Alison Krauss, whose voice reminds me a bit of Dolly Parton’s. Sweet and reflective, it imagines the angels’ reaction to the birth of Jesus. “The angels knew what was to come / The reason God had sent his son from up above / It filled their hearts with joy to see / And knowing of his destiny came tears of love...”

3. If We Make It Through December - The twangy guitars are back, and like the first track, it find the speaker in a rough spot, but the tone is less whiny here, more optimistic: “If we make it through December, we’ll be fine.” Love the banjo work too.

4. If You Don't Wanna See Santa Claus - A slow song reminiscent song reminiscent of Baby, Please Come Home, it’s romantic and morose, begging, “Baby, come back to me if you don’t wanna see Santa Claus cry.”

5. I Only Want You For Christmas - The first unabashedly cheerful song on the album. “Tie a ribbon around yourself,” he suggests, and the implication is that here, he’s asking for something he already has rather than pining away after someone who’s left him.

6. Merry Christmas to Me - But it’s back to the lament with this one, the only song on the album written by Jackson. This plaintive number is drenched in mournful fiddles as he describes opening a present he doesn’t want to give himself and realizing how sad it is to be alone. “Today I took some paper from the closet / And wrapped the wedding ring / You left behind / And I addressed it to the man / Who vowed to love you...”

7. Have a Holly Jolly Christmas - It’s odd to hear this one after six unfamiliar tunes, but it’s nice to have at least one song on the album that most people can probably sing along with the first time around. Pretty straightforward, but I love the fiddles.

8. There's a New Kid in Town - This duet with Keith Whitley is just as lovely as The Angels Cried, with an instrumental bit reminiscent of Dire Straits‘ theme song for The Princess Bride. Humble and quiet, it imagines the Bethlehem innkeeper responding to inquiries about the long-awaited king with, “there’s a new kid in town, but he’s just another baby, I suppose...” The mandolin adds a poignant touch to this tender track, which is perhaps my favorite on the album.

9. Santa's Gonna Come in a Pickup Truck - Alan teams up with Alvin and the Chipmunks for this fun track that, like If It Doesn’t Snow on Christmas, deals with meteorological barriers to Santa making his Christmas Eve trip. Alvin is especially worried that Santa won’t make it; he’s gotten a little greedier since the early days when his wildest dreams involved a hula hoop, and now he wants a 747. Alan tries to convince Alvin that he’s missing the point of Christmas, but his efforts don’t have much effect... “Santa's comin’ in a pickup / Instead of his trusty sleigh. / He'll have a truck instead of reindeer / To carry him on his way...”

10. Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas) - This is one of my favorite John Denver Christmas songs just because the subject matter is so unusual. Really, it’s quite a depressing song, but at least it leaves us with the possibility that Daddy will take heed this time around. The lyrics are a downer, but the music, with the honky tonk piano and lively fiddle, is unfailingly chipper, making it a good bookend for the opening track. And if somebody takes the message to heart, so much the better. “Just last year when I was only seven / (Now I'm almost eight, as you can see) / You came home a quarter past eleven / And fell down underneath our Christmas tree...”

In 2002, Alan Jackson released a more traditional Christmas album entitled Let It Be Christmas, and I’m anxious to check that one out as well. It’s more along the lines of what I usually listen to. But I love the unique flavor of Honky Tonk Christmas, and I’d be glad to deck my halls to the tune of those banjos and fiddles this December and the next.