Go Along on Shrek and Fiona's Harrowing Honeymoon with Shrek 4-D

When I went to Florida recently with my aunt, uncle and cousin, we split our trip to Universal Studios into two days. We tackled Islands of Adventure on March 17 and spent March 21 at Universal Studios Florida. We did make it into Islands of Adventure again toward the end of our second day, and the crowd was noticeably thinner than it had been the first time around. However, I would say that generally speaking, Islands of Adventure was the more crowded of the two parks. After our experience the first day, my aunt got Fast Passes as soon as we got into the park, and we had no trouble whatsoever getting in on everything we wanted to ride in this park. In fact, by the end of the day, she said that she suspected we wouldn’t have really needed them. Overall, Universal Studios Florida had a much more relaxed feel to it.

The fun started with Shrek 4-D, one of several rides I rode on vacation that was more show than ride. We went through the Fast Pass line quickly, with just enough time to stop and get a good look at various displays like the Duloc bulletin board, upon which are plastered notices for upcoming events, personal ads and all sorts of other goodies. Phony movie posters scattered throughout the line were fun, too; I especially liked the looks of Donkey-Xote: A Feel Good Comedy of the Dark Ages. From outside the ride line, you can see several enormous stills from the movie, as well as a couple of large three-dimensional displays, and nearby you can get your picture taken with Shrek and Donkey. If you’re a big fan of the movies, you’ll probably also want to check out Shrek’s Ye Olde Souvenir Shoppe after the ride ends.

As we got closer to the inner ride area, we saw a television screen upon which Shrek was playing. We happened to catch it right at the end of the movie, so we got to see Fiona’s marriage scene before moving on to the area where we got our real introduction to the ride. Inside, a combination of animatronic characters and images on screens got us up to speed with the fact that several of Shrek’s friends had been captured and were being tortured and that even though the thoroughly unpleasant Lord Farquaad had been eaten by a dragon, his ghost was determined to thwart Shrek and Fiona’s happiness.

We were standing for this portion of the ride, clustered together with everyone trying to get a good view. I didn’t have any trouble seeing what was going on, though at times I didn’t quite catch everything that was being said. It generally wasn’t a problem, though, and I enjoyed the banter of the ride employees as well as the exposition of the Magic Mirror, particularly the tip of the hat to Star Wars.

The main attraction was in the theater, on the way into which we picked up our pairs of glasses. The ride employees want to make sure that as many people can get on as possible, so they try to keep this process orderly, seeing to it that everyone moves all the way down his or her row so that no seats remain empty. The seating process didn’t end up taking very long, and soon we were all comfortably resting with the glasses on our heads, ready for the show to begin.

What Shrek 4-D really is, more than anything else, is an animated short that serves as an epilogue to Shrek. Fiona and Shrek have embarked upon their honeymoon, and Donkey is by their side whether they want him there or not. This attraction doesn’t take the sequels into account; it was first unveiled in 2003, before Shrek 2 came along. So don’t expect to see Puss in Boots anywhere, but his presence wouldn’t make sense anyway given the timeline of the film. You do get to see plenty of Donkey, who is my favorite character in the movies, and of Shrek and Fiona too. Plenty of familiar voices reprise their roles, most notably Mike Myers as Shrek, Eddie Murphy as Donkey and John Lithgow as Farquaad. The animation is high-quality, and the story and jokes are well written. I think we may have laughed more on this ride than any other ride at Universal Studios Florida.

This is definitely a kid-friendly attraction, with lots of silly gags and nothing too off-color in the humor. The 4-D element comes into play now and then, but it’s not overwhelming. It’s fun when a character seems to pop out of the screen or the audience gets sprayed with a light mist when Shrek and Donkey get wet, but there’s nothing too intense here. The seats move a bit, with rickety motion during some of the big action sequences, but it’s just a slight jostle and nothing to cause any concern to those who suffer from motion sickness, as I often do. It’s just a fun, laid-back ride and a great little story that made for a great start to our day. If you’re bonkers for ogres, you certainly won’t want to miss it.

Shrek Forever After Brings the Happily Ever After

Back in 2007, May brought with it a trio of third installments at the cineplex. I was determined to see them all, and I did, but the third time isn’t always the charm. It certainly wasn’t in the case of Shrek. So I worried that the fourth, and allegedly final, volume in the twisted but tended saga of the grumpy green ogre with a heart of gold would fizzle. And yet as the previews sneaked their way into nearly every commercial break as I watched the LOST finale, I realized that this was perhaps my most anticipated movie of the summer. And I began to think that number four might just make up for the disappointment of number three.

Shrek Forever After is not a wholly original story, but then the Shrek franchise has always been about taking familiar stories and putting new twists on them. In addition to the multitude of traditional fairy tale characters, including sinister newbie Rumpelstiltskin, you’ll find similarities to It’s a Wonderful Life, The Princess Bride and Disney’s version of Beauty and the Beast. Which, of course, is a traditional fairy tale in and of itself, but the echoes of the specific Disney version are particularly strong, just as they were in the first movie.

In many ways, it’s a return to the beginning, with the main difference being that Shrek knows where he has been, and he is aware that he’s more than just a surly ogre. I’ve noticed that many stories being written lately have employed a reboot device of some kind; I guess it’s a creative way of treading old territory in new ways. In this case, we see that Shrek (Mike Myers) has grown rather weary of his domestic bliss. He loves his wife and children, but the monotony is getting him down, as is the sense that his domestication has somehow emasculated him. And when enough little irritations pile up, it turns the docile family man into a raging beast who is so desperate for a change that he’s willing to enter into a bargain with the seedy Rumpel (Walt Dohm) in hopes of letting off a little steam.

It’s at this point that the movie begins to bear a great resemblance to the last season of LOST, as it’s once again the lovelorn Scotsman who is aware of two separate realities and who must try to get his old friends to remember each other, and him. In this case, the problem is that Rumpel tricked Shrek into negating his own birth. Unless he can convince Fiona (Cameron Diaz), in this reality a fierce warrior princess, to kiss him - and to truly mean it - before the end of the day, he will cease to exist, and Far Far Away will forever be ruled by a diminutive tyrant with a wide array of wigs to suit each of his moods.

Rumpel is the most significant new character in the film, and he really is creepy. I find him quite a convincing villain, and more threatening than any of the others the franchise has offered up, in part because he is so adept at figuring out what people want and tempting them with it in such a way that it seems they can’t lose. At the same time, however, as soon as Shrek gets his initial burst of old-timey rampaging out of his system and returns to his senses, Rumpel loses a lot of his power. It seems like an affirmation that evil may loom large, but ultimately it can’t come close to equaling the power of good. As Shrek gains strength with each new ally he makes and each friend he recovers, Rumpel grows more and more desolate as even his sycophants begin to drop off, either defecting or fighting among themselves.

Also new to this tale is a whole colony of ogres ruled by a ferocious Fiona who, never having been rescued from the tower, had to fight her way out and has since become a master military schemer. Among these ogres, Shrek is rather puny-looking, and it’s funny to see him in contrast to those who have embraced their slimier natures. Yet the ogres still come across as noble because they are fighting a corrupt government, and I definitely got a whiff or two of Braveheart as they plotted to bring down the oppressive rule keeping them underground. My favorite of the new ogres is Cookie (Craig Robinson), a jumbo fellow with the build and disposition of Hagrid, but considerably better culinary skills. While his comrades talk weapons and maneuvers, his chief concern is feeding the troops.

I find Shrek at his most lovable yet throughout the course of this movie as he valiantly strives to undo the mess he has made, but the one character in this series who has always had pride of place in my heart is hyper, sweet-as-candy Donkey (Eddie Murphy), and that remains the case. As expected, his awakening comes first, since he is such a pure, open-hearted character, though there’s still a process to it, and I found myself very touched by the way his initial violent resistance to Shrek’s overtures of friendship gives way to trust, to the point when Shrek begins to tell him the most fantastical of tales about his alternate life and Donkey responds not with skepticism but with exuberant acceptance. Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) follows a similar path, but unlike Donkey, he is physically much different in this reality, having spent his life pampered and pudgy, so while he is a valuable ally, he’s not quite the stalwart swordsman we’re used to seeing.

I saw the movie in 3-D, and I was rather surprised at how organic the whole thing felt. I expected that they might use the technology to give us a lot of sight gags, like pies being thrown at the audience and that sort of thing. In reality, I can’t remember a single moment like that. So by one token, one might argue that the 3-D is unnecessary, and certainly not worth the extra couple of bucks. But for me, I felt that all the surroundings felt just a bit richer and deeper than they did before. I was able to be drawn more fully into the experience, and I don’t regret springing for 3-D.

Supposedly this is the end of the Shrek tales, and I rather hope it is because it would be nice to see a series that got off to such a promising start go out on such a high note. As much as I enjoyed the first movie, there were a few things about it that left a bad taste in my mouth. Same goes for the second, and the third just dropped the ball. But for me, Shrek Forever After represented all that is best about the series and brought Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss in Boots and all those other characters we love to a true happily ever after.

Daddy Day Care Is Silly and Sweet

In the spirit of National Poetry Month, I'm going to attempt writing some reviews in verse form.  My first effort is of the movie Daddy Day Care, which stars Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garlin and Steve Zahn as a trio of guys who decide to run a day care center.  It's frothy.  It's fun.  It's not as dumb as the previews made it look.  Bonus points for Star Trek references and a hilairously understated Jonathan Katz as a nebbish child services inspector.  And of course, Eddie Murphy is comic gold.

Daddy Day Care

Daddy One and Daddy Two
(Portly Phil and Chuck)
Try to get some kids to chew
Veggie-Os - oh, yuck!
Talk about a failed campaign!
Hotshot colleagues smirk.
Trudging home, they must explain,
"Daddy's out of work."
Moms bring home the bacon now.
Daddies mind the tots.
Gotta make some dough, but how?
Second Daddy plots.
"Taking care of kids is fun,"
Charlie says to Phil.
"Now we're each in charge of one;
More would pay the bills!"
Daddy Day Care rates are cheap.
Kiddos run amok.
Shy inspector takes a peep;
Daddies are in luck.
Add a couple safety gates,
Sign a couple forms;
They can keep their stellar rates
And their toddler swarms.
With more tykes, they need a third
Man to call upon.
Toss in Marvin, super-nerd
(Casual Steve Zahn).
Three dudes entertain the crew,
Listen when they speak.
Tots are happy.  Parents too.
What a winning streak!
Conflicts come but quickly pass.
Potty jokes abound.
Little co-stars sometimes sass.
Plot points are unsound.
Gooey message perseveres.
Goofy antics rule.
Eddie Murphy and his peers
Run a spiffy school.
Silly movie.  Do I care?
Really, not at all.
Show the youngsters if you dare;
They will have a ball.

Animal Slapstick Abounds in Dr. Dolittle 2

In the classic Rex Harrison musical based on Hugh Lofting's book series, Dr. John Dolittle is a man who has dedicated his life to the linguistic study of animals, hoping to devise a way of communicating with them. His long years of effort eventually pay off, much to the delight of eager viewers like me. More recently, Eddie Murphy adopted the moniker Dr. John Dolittle for a film whose premise is only similar in the most basic of ways. John also develops the ability to talk to animals. But he doesn't want it. He rejects his ability, and it takes most of the family-friendly comedy for him to come to grips with it. In Dr. Dolittle 2, however, he has finally embraced this gift. It's his embarrassed teenage daughter Charisse (Raven-Symone) who has a problem with it.

Dr. Dolittle 2 is just as innocuous as the first film. It's a firmly PG movie about family togetherness and the preservation of the environment. John, concerned about the growing rift between him and Charisse, proposes a European family vacation to get away from all the eager pet owners demanding his attention. However, he has to put the plans on hold when he receives a plea from several forest creatures to save their home from destruction by business mogul Joe Potter (Jeffrey Jones). He can see only one way of doing it: releasing Archie (Steve Zahn), a rare species of bear previously living in a circus, into the forest and matching him up with a mate. The judge to whom John appeals agrees the replenishment of the species is a worthy cause and grants him a month to get Archie acclimated and amorous.

Zahn brings his usual laid-back, slacker style to the voicing of Archie, who isn't all that interested in the plan - at least until he falls for Ava (Lisa Kudrow), the intended object of his affections. While John tries to teach Archie to fend for himself in the wild, the bear must figure out how to impress the initially disdainful Ava. Meanwhile, John's relationship with Charisse continues to deteriorate, and he still has to deal with the ailments and complaints of a variety of other animals while he puts Archie through his Rocky-style training regimen. Wise-cracking mutt Lucky (Norm McDonald) narrates the story, putting a comical spin on everything John does and embarking on a side adventure of his own.

A lot of the humor in the movie is aimed at kids, with slapstick the most prevalent brand of comedy. Whether it's rats eating their way out of a birthday cake or chickens launching eggs at farmers in solidarity with the forest dwellers who fear losing their home, director Steve Carr gives us plenty to laugh at. Some of the jokes rely on bodily functions, with one particularly onerous scene involving Archie attempting to use a restaurant rest room; the movie really didn't need those moments, and I wish they hadn't been included. Also, a bit in which Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin gets attacked by an alligator seems distasteful now in light of his death. Most of the humor is inoffensive, though, and I found Murphy more likable in the role the second time around.

With so many different animals voicing their opinions throughout the movie, there are quite a few fairly famous folks in minor roles that might send you running to IMDb, among them Andy Dick, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Isaac Hayes, Michael Rapaport and Frankie Muniz. The special effects are decent, so while the moving of the animals' mouths sometimes looks a bit cheesy, it's not distracting, and because most of the movie is set in a pristine patch of forest, there are some pretty scenic landscapes.

Dr. Dolittle 2 is rather corny and predictable, but it's also a fun movie the family can enjoy together. If you've ever longed to talk with the animals, I recommend hobnobbing with Rex Harrison first, but Eddie Murphy's fresh take on the concept also promises plenty of entertainment.

Glitzy 81st Oscars Are a Ceremony to Remember

I came into the 2008 Oscars having seen only three of the nominees: WALL-E, The Dark Knight and Doubt. I almost saw Slumdog Millionaire, but the theater was sold out and we never made it back; I have no excuse for Man on Wire, since not only does Netflix have it, it's available for instant viewing. But that will have to be my first post-Oscar pick. Anyway, though I hadn't seen most of the movies involved, I was fairly well-informed about most of them, and I found myself especially rooting for The Little Movie That Could, which came close to pulling off a Return of the King-style sweep.

Last year's ceremony was pretty short on frills. By contrast, this year's was showy, from the gorgeous crystal curtain hanging over the stage to the song-and-dance antics of host Hugh Jackman. I thought the ensemble tribute to musical theater featuring him, Beyonce, Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron was entertaining, albeit rather chaotic. But the opening number, where he so energetically and hilariously honored the Best Picture nominees (and The Dark Knight), was brilliant. Clever lyrics, great way of matching the music to the mood of the movies, and man, can that guy sing! And Anne Hathaway was a nice surprise. They looked - and sounded - great together.

I liked the structure of taking us through the movie-making process, which put more focus on the amount of work that goes into the more technical aspects of movie production. I was a little disappointed that WALL-E won in none of these categories, but at least it took home the big award for Best Animated Picture. (As if there was any doubt; I loved Jack Black's line about starring in Dreamworks movies and then betting all his money on Pixar winning the Oscar.) The WALL-E-centric ode to 2008's animated features was fun, as were his appearances in the romance montage.

One of the most memorable moments from the technical awards came with Best Cinematography, when Ben Stiller did a killer Joaquin Phoenix impression while Natalie Portman played it straight. It was hilarious, but it did seem a bit disrespectful; then again, perhaps the movie community feels like Phoenix has been thumbing his nose at them lately. What was really disrespectful was the fact that Stiller went on goofing around while the nominees were being read, so it didn't seem like anyone was paying attention to those names. I think he let the gag go on too long and detracted from their big moment. The Slumdog cinematographer gave a great speech, though, gracious and funny.

I was a little surprised that some presenters stayed on stage so long, but it seemed to streamline the process a bit, and I don't think anyone was complaining too much about seeing Will Smith presenting four awards in a row. The rising through the floor bit was fun, as was his comment, the fourth time around, that Hugh was napping. Probably the most memorable of that batch of speeches was for Sound Mixing. He really seemed to appreciate it, and taking it as a victory for his whole country was nice. And going back to Best Make-Up (one of several presented rather blandly by Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker), that was an impressive list of names to spit out in such a short time. Made for a somewhat dull speech, but I'm sure the folks who were mentioned appreciated it.

The one low point in the evening for me was when Bill Maher presented the documentary awards. I groaned when I saw him step out because I knew he'd have something inflammatory to say. As somebody who's generally more involved in television than movies, he felt rather out of place anyway, and instead of acting grateful for the opportunity, he seemed to be bent on deriding everybody. And plugging his movie. From his "silly little gods" comment to his dismissive remark after the Man on Wire guys made their speech, he just oozed contempt for the whole thing. I don't know if Maher's beef with them was the documentary itself or the speech, but I loved that they invited their subject up to the stage. He was among the giddiest people we saw all night, and I got a kick out of his Oscar-balancing and disappearing coin trick.

I expected that Prop 8 would come up at some point during the night, and it did. Sean Penn got a little heated with his remarks, but I enjoyed his speech overall, especially the shout-out to Mickey Rourke. Still, I preferred the emotional acceptance speech of Milk's incredibly young-looking screenwriter, and it was moving to see him getting choked up all over again as Penn accepted his award. His profound gratitude lessened the blow of WALL-E failing to get top screenplay honors. I still think it should have been nominated for Best Picture. I thought Tina Fey and Steve Martin were a great presenting team, by the way, and I was quite content to watch them banter their way through two awards.

Speaking of banter, Seth Rogen and James Franco's video was a hoot. As an ode to comedy it was rather strange, since half the featured movies were only funny because those two were laughing at wildly inappropriate times, but I thought it worked. I also found the promo for Jimmy Kimmel with Tom Cruise hilarious, and the only ad aside from the inspirational True North commercials that really got my attention. (I actually stayed up for Kimmel because of it and was rewarded with not only more silliness with Cruise but also deliciously ridiculous previews for The Curious Case of Benjamin Batman and The Colonel, a Civil War epic starring Mel Gibson. As Colonel Sanders.)

I found Queen Latifah's live song accompanying the memorial tribute classy, though I'm not sure if it was such a good idea not to fill the screen with the clips of the deceased. I found it rather hard to see what was happening, and I missed a few of the names. I liked Eddie Murphy's presentation of Jerry Lewis's honorary award, as well as the video (especially the clip of Mattie Stepanek), and I thought that Lewis was very gracious. He also looked like he was in good health. Anyway, he could have taken a moment to grouse about never being recognized for his work in the years when he was in so many movies, but instead he just seemed thankful.

One thing that I really liked this year was the way the acting awards were presented. It felt so much more meaningful to have five past winners stand up there and speak directly to the nominees than just showing a little clip of the movie. Each of the nominees really seemed to appreciate those words of praise; it was like they all got a prize. I especially got a kick out of Whoopi Goldberg's riff on nuns to Amy Adams (who I was hoping, but not really expecting, to win). I can't believe Alan Arkin flubbed Philip Seymour Hoffman's name, but it was a nice speech otherwise. All 20 of those mini-speeches were beautifully done, I thought. The Oscars didn't seem so concerned with speed this time around. There was time for reflection and big showy musical numbers, and nobody got played off the stage.

I was rooting for Meryl Streep for Best Actress, but Kate Winslet sure was tickled with her win. I kept forgetting she was up there for The Reader and not Revolutionary Road. It's been a big year for her. I liked her acceptance speech, especially the part about practicing this moment with a shampoo bottle in front of the mirror when she was eight, and thanking Peter Jackson for her first big break. Asking her dad to whistle so she knew where he was also was great. Of course, perhaps no other award of the night had generated more interest than Best Supporting Actor. I wasn't surprised in the least to see Heath Ledger receive the award (though it's slightly disturbing that the winning role has been a homicidal sociopath two years running). I thought both Kevin Kline and the members of Ledger's immediate family paid him nice tribute, and I thought it was appropriate that the cameras spent so much time panning through the audience for reactions to this particular award. It seemed like a cathartic moment for everyone there.

Of course, the king of the night was Slumdog Millionaire, and they must've cut to the ecstatically grinning Danny Boyle about a dozen times. I loved his speech, especially the bouncing up and down before announcing that he was receiving the award in the spirit of Tigger and his shout-out to the people of Mumbai. I wasn't all that interested in the music categories this year, but I thought A. R. Rahman seemed very touched. At first, he just seemed shell-shocked, but he recovered by the second award, and I liked what he had to say about the power of hope and choosing love over hate. After it won so many other awards, I would have been pretty surprised to see Slumdog not take top honors, so the Best Picture award wasn't a shocker, but it was a great moment with everybody, especially the kids, up on stage. What a night for them!

I took a stab at guessing in each of the categories, though I was completely clueless about a few of them. I managed to guess 14 correctly, which was slightly better than last year, when I had seen much more of the nominees. What does that tell you? Of course, I have Slumdog to thank for some of that. Now that it's been so richly rewarded, I'm even more determined to see if I think it lives up to the accolades. In any case, this Cinderella story provided an uplifting tone for the evening that was most welcome. And Hugh, if you're not too busy filming New Zealand (the musical! with hobbits!), I'd be more than glad to see you back next year. The Oscars seem to be expanding more and more beyond America every year, but if this night is any indication, that's not a bad thing.

Shrek the Halls Offers Christmas Chaos

Up until last year, my mentioning a surly green creature who gets extra cranky around Christmas automatically would lead most people to assume that I was talking about the Dr. Seuss's Grinch, but now the old Christmas stealer has a bit of competition. Shrek (Mike Myers), the uncouth ogre who's a romantic at heart, got his own Christmas special last year, hot on the heels of his less-than-smashing third film installment. Shrek the Halls is much shorter than Shrek the Third, and the situation is much simpler: Shrek wants his first Christmas as a family man to be perfect, but he doesn't know how to go about it and his friends' shenanigans are giving him a headache. Poor green grouch...

This special, which clocks in at twenty-some minutes, reunites several popular characters from the films, including Shrek's sweet ladylove Fiona (Cameron Diaz), his hyper best buddy Donkey (Eddie Murphy), his suave defender Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), the Gingerbread Man (Conrad Vernon), the Three Blind Mice (Christopher Knights), Pinocchio (Cody Cameron) and the Three Little Pigs (Cameron). As in the movies, when they all come together in Shrek's hovel, enough chaos ensues to aggravate even the most easy-going of folks.

This is a very fast-paced tale, which means the mass confusion comes in short, manageable bursts. Even so, it's nice to have the rewind option available, since there are sometimes several things going on at once and it's easy to miss some of the off-hand remarks by various fairy tale characters. As always, my favorite of the bunch is Donkey, whose youthful enthusiasm has him inundating Shrek with good wishes badly delivered. Donkey has his own idea of what a perfect Christmas involves, and it doesn't match up too well with Shrek's. This makes for many amusing moments, though it's easy to understand why Shrek finds him a bit hard to take.

Those familiar with the series won't be surprised to find that this special contains a bit of suggestive dialogue and a fair amount of humor involving bodily functions. It's all firmly within PG territory, but if you have a low tolerance for belches and sludge, be warned. It's particularly abundant in the specialized version of A Visit From St. Nicholas that Shrek finally gets to recite, after storytime is hi-jacked by Donkey, Puss and Gingy, each of whom has a brief but memorable tale to tell. Puss's is probably my favorite, as it affords him the opportunity to adopt his adorable enormous-eyed expression; Gingy's might be a tad morbid for especially sensitive young viewers.

Like the movies, the special incorporates pop music well, though in this case it's Christmas music. I like the overall theme of familial affection and of togetherness trumping a "perfect" Christmas, though considering that the special starts out in the summer with Shrek's triplets already born, I can't quite work out how it is that this is Shrek's first Christmas with Fiona. Or during their first Christmas, were they too preoccupied with other matters to pay attention to the holiday? At any rate, this potential continuity gap does little to diminish my enjoyment of Shrek the Halls. I wouldn't quite call it a classic, but those who already enjoy these characters should get a kick out of seeing them in such a cheery context.

Get LOST With Paul Simon in This SNL Christmas Collection

The tree is down, and so are the outside lights and most of the inside decorations. Holiday compilations are out of the rotation in the CD player. I almost have Christmas out of my system. Before I let it go, I have to allow myself a few more Christmas movies from my Netflix queue. Last week, I treated myself to Saturday Night Live: Christmas Past.

Released in 1999, it contains mostly sketches from the variety show's glory days, with the likes of Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase, and later Dana Carvey and Chris Farley. The most recent material includes Molly Shannon and Cheri Oteri. The special clocks in at just over an hour; while it includes 18 amusing skits, I'm sure SNL could easily release another volume, particularly with the inclusion of sketches from the last decade. I'd put in a vote for the obnoxious couple at the Christmas tree lot (2005) and, dare I confess, 2006's phenomenally popular music video starring Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake. What this collection gives us is a range of material, most of it slightly off-color.

Christmas Eve At The White House - Chevy Chase does his usual Gerald-Ford-is-a-klutz shtick, and it's pretty funny, though extremely ridiculous. In Chase's hands, the poor president can't do anything right; he is unable to follow simple instructions for how to give his Christmas address; he hangs his children's stockings upside-down; he knocks over the Christmas tree. Pure slapstick, and bearing very little resemblance, I'm sure, to the real guy.

Opening Montage - Bill Murray does an opening monologue, and when Santa (Dan Aykroyd) shows up, he has all sorts of great stuff to say about him. Nothing objectionable about this one, but it seemed very short.

Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood on Christmas - I'm not sure I want this guy as my neighbor. Eddie Murphy spoofs Mr. Rogers in a ghetto version of the beloved man in the sweater. Actually, he's everything Mr. Rogers isn't, as he demonstrates when, clad in a Santa suit, he opens his sack of stolen toys and confides his plan to make a killing by ringing a bell and holding out a Salvation Army kettle. Murphy is a funny guy, but I'm not sure this one sits so well with me...

Delicious Dish - The two most boring women on the planet (played by Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer) host a holiday edition of their NPR cooking show. Their special guest is a baker (Alec Baldwin) with the last name Schwetty whose specialty is "balls". You know, like Russian tea cakes and doughnut holes. It's ever so benign, but the three take the opportunity to cram as much innuendo into one sketch as they possibly can. I think I saw this one live; certainly it's shown up in a bunch of SNL clip shows. It's Austin Powers-style naughty.

Church Chat - Dana Carvey is the persnickety "Church Lady" who invites guests onto her show just to scold them. Pretty funny, especially since I definitely know a few people like that. After two guests, one of them Danny Devito as himself, get a stern tongue-lashing, the Church Lady rocks out on the drums, and Devito does some festive singing.

Martha Stewart's Topless Christmas Special - This bizarre segment features Ana Gasteyer as Martha Stewart, cheerfully instructing anyone who cares to listen on the finer points of merrymaking, such as making a ludicrously complicated table decoration, though of course she claims that it's simple. For the most part, though, the humor derives from the fact that she is conducting her entire show topless (with a strategically placed black bar, of course). Um... why?

Hannukah Song - Ah, finally we're getting to the really good stuff. My second-favorite segment on the DVD, this has Norm McDonald at the news desk introducing Adam Sandler, who strums his guitar and sings a career-making song about all the famous people who are Jewish, so as to help Jewish kids to feel a little less left out around Christmastime. Funny, informative, even somewhat touching, this one is a winner, and I always turn up the volume when it comes on the radio in December.

A Holiday Wish - Steve Martin sits in a cozy easy chair and expounds upon what he would ask for if he had just one wish for Christmas. It starts out very warm and fuzzy but quickly degenerates as he adds more and more wishes, each less sentimental than the last. With a bit of a 12 Days of Christmas feel to it - though, thankfully, he stops long before 12 - this is dryly amusing but also considerably crass.

Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker - Phil Hartman hires Matt Foley (Chris Farley) to be the Santa in his shopping mall. I've been subjected to many skits in this series, and all of them give me a headache. Farley's vocal delivery makes me want to hit "mute" after a few seconds. My brother Nathan thought this one, which featured Sally Field as a furious mom and a slew of kids - an unusual sight on SNL - was hilarious, but I wasn't too impressed, aside from the rather clever way he managed to work his "van down by the river" shtick into a Visit From St. Nicholas-style Christmas story.

Consumer Probe - This one, however, had me laughing quite a bit. Candace Bergen grills a slimy toymaker played by Dan Aykroyd about the dangerous toys his company continues to make, while he tries to point out their value and convince her that even the most innocent of toys could potentially result in injury. Very funny.

Lost Ending of It's A Wonderful Life - It's William Shatner! But not for long. He merely introduces this missing ending of the Frank Capra classic. While the cast members do a pretty good job of imitating the various characters from that movie, it kinda takes the warm fuzzies out of it when George (Dana Carvey) leads the rest of the townsfolk in an angry mob against that nasty old man who stole his money.

Santa Wrap - This looks like something that could have been on American Inventor. Dan Aykroyd explains the advantage of Santa wrap, which he applies to the most unsanitary lap of a grossly inebriated mall Santa (John Belushi). A rather entertaining little commercial.

The Nigh Hannukah Harry Saved Christmas - Jon Lovitz as Hanukah Harry fills in for Santa, who is sick. A jovial fellow, he is nonetheless received with some disappointment by a pair of eagerly waiting kids when he gives them rather dull Jewish-themed gifts instead of the toys they were expecting. But it ends on a fairly heartwarming note when Santa comes anyway and the kids decide that Harry, too, is worthy of appreciation.

Deserted Island Christmas - I would have been very disappointed if this hadn't been included. In fact, it was the main reason I rented the DVD. I saw this on a television Christmas special once, and I absolutely adored it. Paul Simon? Desert island? Talk about a winning combination! He and Victoria Jackson are a couple stranded for Christmas, but they don't care too much. They're going to make a celebration of it anyway, and Paul feels rather pleased with himself over the potholders he's made and the fancy shells he's found as gifts for his ladylove... until she reveals an exquisite handmade watch and telescope and details how she managed to create them. Sweet and hilarious.

Winter Wonderland - Fun group song. Everybody gets involved, and as the ladies and gentlemen battle it out with their harmonies, it grows more and more chaotic.

Dysfunctional Family Christmas - More musical merriment, though it offers an awfully bleak view of the holidays. Phil Hartman and the gang advertise a collection of songs celebrating the darker side of Christmas.

Rita From Brooklyn - Outrageous New York accents rule the day as Cheri Oteri, Rosie O'Donnell and Penny Marshall duke it out over their lawn decorations until a group of caroling children change their perspective. Pretty funny.

Master Thespian - Almost a rehash of Matt Foley, with Jon Lovitz in the Santa suit instead this time. Phil Hartman is the mall manager again, and once more he finds he's got a little more than he bargained for with this overdramatic St. Nick. I like it better than the Chris Farley one, but it might have been nice to end the disc on something a little less repetitive.

All told, it's a moderately entertaining collection, but the crude nature of most of the sketches makes it a DVD I wouldn't go out of my way to include in the yearly holiday rotation. If you've ever gotten a laugh out of SNL, though, give it a shot. For my money, it's worth a look just for Deserted Island Christmas. Now if they only could have gotten Paulie to sing the Gilligan's Island theme song...

Third Time Holds Little Charm With Shrek the Third

I've been looking forward to May as the month of the blockbusters, and a couple weeks ago my movie watching got off to a good start with Spider-Man 3. Though I read some pretty scathing reviews, I thought the film was phenomenal and looked forward to watching the next big premiere, Shrek the Third. There were lines around the lobby for Spidey, so I thought we might do well to buy tickets for Shrek ahead of time. We never got around to it, so I was a little nervous when we got to the theater. I needn't have worried about getting seats; I might have done well to worry instead about other things...

When we walked into our theater at 10:15, the previews had started without us, but we were the only people in the audience. A few minutes later, a couple came in and sat down. And that was it. Seven people at the second showing of Shrek the Third. Impressive. If our reaction was a typical response, I doubt Shrek will be packing folks in. I personally couldn't have laughed aloud more than half a dozen times, and I think every time it was something I'd seen already on the previews.

The movie begins roughly where the second left off, with Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) living a cushy life in the royal kingdom of Far Far Away. They're on an extended visit, but as much as they enjoy their fancy lodgings, they're both anxious to get back to their old life in the swamp. Well, Shrek is, anyway; Fiona thinks it might be time to change things up a bit with some new additions. But any arguments about the pitfalls of parenthood will have to wait, because the king (John Cleese) is dying, and he needs someone to take over. That means either Shrek or Fiona's cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake). And since the last thing Shrek wants is to rule the kingdom, another quest is in order...

It seems like bringing the Arthurian legend into Shrek's world would be an inspired idea, but it turns out to be only one of many weak threads in a film that is surprisingly lackluster. The most interesting thing about Arthur, an insecure, unpopular boy teased by all of his classmates at his medieval high school, is his former magic teacher, Merlin (Eric Idle), a highly eccentric old man with a trick or two up the sleeves of a robe too short for common decency. There's a bit of conflict between Shrek and Arthur deriving from the fact that the ogre initially conceals the fact that he was actually the first in line, but it never feels very pressing.

Nor was I all that invested in the antics of the women attending Fiona's baby shower at the time when Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) showed up with an army of villains to take over the kingdom. Narcoleptic Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri), mannish stepsister Doris (Larry King) (whose sister Mabel (Regis Philbin) is in league with the villains), tough-talking Snow White (Amy Poehler), bitter Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph) and perfect Cinderella (Amy Sedaris) all have their moments, but nobody really stands out to me as an exciting new character.

The most consistently entertaining characters remain Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas). In this installment, there's a bit of added amusement when the two inadvertently switch bodies, much to each other's horror. Little of their dialogue is particularly memorable, however, and my favorite aspect of Donkey this time around is his little bunch of baby donkey dragons, which are as adorable as they are physically improbable. In fact, visually speaking, this movie does have a lot to recommend it, though the baby ogres are a bit freakish looking. Several contemporary songs are prominently featured, most effectively Cat's in the Cradle and That's What Friends Are For, but none of them makes much of an impact.

In the end, Shrek the Third is a movie to watch because you loved the two that preceded it. You'll find enjoyment in the familiar characters but bemoan the fact that they aren't delivering as many laughs as usual, nor coming together in service of a story that feels coherent. Hopefully you'll walk out of the theater smiling, but there's certainly not much need to order these tickets ahead of time. Something tells me Shrek won't be catching up to Spidey anytime soon.

Brilliant Animation Spattered with Sludge

If you come to Shrek looking for a squeaky-clean film for your five-year-old to enjoy, you've picked the wrong movie. That isn't to say that he won't enjoy it, but you won't enjoy it when he spends the remainder of the day trying to prove that his belching powers exceed that of an ogre. Just pray the imitation stops there. This is, after all, Mike Myers, the man who brought us Austin Powers. The level of crudeness is taken down a notch for this film marketed towards youngsters, but most of the humor is definitely aimed at adults who haven't quite grown up.

If belching were the only part of this movie that is somewhat uncouth, I'd go ahead and give it a hearty recommendation. But belching doesn't begin to cover the wide array of bodily functions seen here. Young children still in the "doorknob" stage of their lives will, no doubt, find it hilarious when Shrek's flatulence kills a fish, but the smelly jokes get a little old after a while. Beyond physical humor, there is quite a bit of dialogue riddled with profanity and innuendo. Most of this comes from our heroes, Shrek (Myers) and Donkey (Eddie Murphy).

That isn't to say, however, that the film relies solely upon potty humor. Shrek is genuinely funny in many places, tipping a hat to dozens of Disney movies and nursery rhymes. Prince Farquaad (John Lithgow) tortures the gingerbread man during interrogation by dipping his leg in milk and eating it. His magic mirror is frightened into talking when he sees a guard smash a hand mirror. Donkey is lifted off the ground with pixie dust and proclaims, "You ain't never seen a donkey fly!" The princess (Cameron Diaz) sings alternately with a bluebird, but her voice grows too high and the bird explodes trying to imitate it. There's even an allusion towards the end to The Princess Bride.

Most amusing, however, is the frantically friendly Donkey, who could possibly talk the ear of the Micro Machine Man. Okay, so he doesn't talk that fast, but he certainly talks that much. Nonstop. Simultaneously lovable and annoying, Donkey is my favorite character in the film.

Shrek, meanwhile, is a green grouch with a Scottish accent and unpleasant odour. Tired of being judged by his appearance, he agrees to journey with Donkey, partly because the four-legged chatterbox doesn't seem to mind his alarming appearance. But what will happen when he finds himself falling in love with the princess he was sent to rescue, in exchange for the evacuation of his swamp? Could the fairest lady in the land ever see anything in this hideous beast? And what deep dark secret is the princess hiding from her traveling companions?

The animation in this film is breathtaking. Top-notch. The premise is basically another take on Beauty and the Beast, though this film resolves itself much differently than that Disney film did. I certainly wouldn't call this a musical, but there is some singing. Donkey's humming, some background rock and roll, and a couple of incredibly annoying tunes, one welcoming visitors to Farquaad's kingdom and one sung by a dorky French Robin Hood and his merry men. I got a lot of laughs out of this film, but I also got a lot of groans. I would definitely classify it as a film for teens, despite the way Burger King has been saturated with it for the past two months. Enjoy, but be on your guard. Disney this is not.