When I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger, my first thought is Terminator,
quickly followed by several other adrenaline-soaked action flicks.
Then, of course, I remember that he is the governor of California, a
position that certainly caught me by surprise the first time I realized
he’d taken it up. Today, thanks to Netflix, I discovered another hat he
wore: director. He only directed one movie, and it was made for
television and a remake to boot. But I found 1992’s Christmas in Connecticut, written by Janet Brownell, a thoroughly charming movie.
Elizabeth Blane (Dyan Cannon) is the host of a television cooking
program. She’s like Martha Stewart, with perfect culinary and homemaking
skills. Except it’s all a charade. She doesn’t have a husband, children
or grandchildren. Her assistant Josie (Kelly Cinnante) does all the
cooking for her. Everything in her life is manufactured, and while she
doesn’t find it very satisfying, it seems to be working okay for her
until her seedy agent Alex (Tony Curtis) discovers that Jefferson Jones
(Kris Kristofferson), a forest ranger who is a national hero after
saving a boy lost in a snowstorm, has a copy of her cookbook. In fact,
it’s one of the few possessions he still has, since while he was off on
his rescue mission his cabin burned down. Smells like a Christmas
special in the making!
Alex quickly finagles a plan to film a
live special with Elizabeth and Jefferson, preceded by several days
during which he will stay with her and her makeshift family in the cozy
Connecticut home she pretends is hers. Alex will pose as her husband,
while Josie, with her aspiring actor husband Tyler (Gene Lythgow) in
tow, will be Elizabeth’s daughter. They’ve also rented a pair of
grandkids for the occasion; savvy Kevin (Jimmy Workman) knows how much
is on the line and never misses an opportunity to do a little
blackmailing, while infant Melissa forms a surprising bond with Tyler.
Helping maintain some sanity is the serene housekeeper, Norah (Vivian
Bonnell).
Jefferson is bemused as he wanders into this chaotic
scene. He’s a humble man, quiet and polite, and though it’s clear from
his bewildered expressions that he finds some of their behavior
baffling, he doesn’t pass judgment on this crazy crew, nor does he seem
to suspect that it’s all an act, at least not initially. I’ve been a fan
of Kristofferson ever since I saw him in 1996’s TV movie Tad, in
which he pulled off a magnificent portrayal of Abraham Lincoln. He’s
really the one who makes this movie so watchable. In a house full of
artifice, he breathes authenticity. Besides, I’m a real sucker for
forest rangers, and he carries himself like a true outdoorsman.
Basically, Jefferson gets to be the straight man here. These
sophisticated New Yorkers may look on him as a bit of a yokel, but
they’re the ones who wind up with all the slapstick moments,
particularly oafish Alex and overdramatic Tyler. And since Elizabeth is
at the heart of this whole thing, she keeps getting thrown into
ridiculous situations as she is forced to try to live up to her
reputation. As she begins to develop very real feelings for her guest,
however, she begins to wonder whether it might be time to drop the act
altogether.
I have to give credit to Chuck Colwell for his
cinematography, as the whole movie, especially the outdoor scenes, looks
absolutely gorgeous. The image of Elizabeth and Jefferson gliding down
the road in a horse-drawn sleigh as powdery snow falls is about as close
to a perfect Currier and Ives picture as one could ask for. There’s
also some lovely music courtesy of a group of carolers. Of course, some
elements of the movie are pretty silly, most notably the idea that
Elizabeth could convince the world at large for years that she had a
family when all it would take is one person to blow her cover. She sure
couldn’t pull it off today. And some of the scenes are relentlessly
stapsticky. But the movie is balanced enough that I found I didn’t mind
instances of trees falling over or people tripping over marbles strewn
across the floor. And I found David Arnott’s brief role as the spastic
director trying to salvage Elizabeth’s disastrous Christmas special
completely hilarious.
I’m not sure why Arnie directed just one
movie and then gave it up. But if he decides to take another bash at it
after his Governator days are over, Christmas in Connecticut has convinced me that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
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