I’ve read many books modeled after Clement C. Moore’s classic poem, A Visit From St. Nicholas. One of the strangest is Santa Cows,
a story about a family who receives an unexpected visit from an octet
of magical bovines. I’m not sure what inspired author Cooper Edens and
illustrator Daniel Lane here, though I will concede that eight flying
cows bear a slight resemblance to eight flying reindeer, and “Santa
Cows” certainly sounds a lot like Santa Claus.
The book follows
the basic format of the poem, with 14 four-line stanzas with occasional
points of similarity with the original. As with virtually every book of
this type, it begins with “‘Twas the night before Christmas”. It’s a
rather sad Night Before Christmas if you ask me, with everybody vegging
on the couch glued to the TVs; this family has four of them, and the
content on every one appears to be violent, with two fiery explosions
and one boxing match. The fourth TV is pretty small, so it’s hard to see
what’s on, but it looks as though there may be something blowing up
there as well, and though all six children are in the living room, none
of them are paying any attention to each other, and it appears to have
escaped everyone’s notice that the pizza delivery guy has simply made
himself at home. All through the living room, not even a hint of
Christmas decorations can be seen.
When the family notices the
cows, Elwood, the man of the house, is thrilled, since he experienced
their arrival long ago in his childhood and always hoped that they would
return. I can’t help thinking a bit of Bert in Mary Poppins,
patiently awaiting the next visit of a mysterious airborne visitor. The
cows’ arrival brings the family together. Soon they are gathered in one
place and interacting with each other, and they listen, rapt, as the
cows sing O Holy Night and Adeste Fideles. Since the book
includes no dialogue from the cows themselves, it’s unclear whether they
are singing the words or merely mooing the melodies, but in any event, I
can imagine that would be an interesting concert!
I find the
choice of songs interesting, as that is the only mention in the book of
the religious aspect of the holiday. This strikes me as a pretty secular
household, but when the cows begin to sing, the family gives them their
full attention. The cows also somehow manage to produce a fully
decorated Christmas tree, seemingly out of thin air, and they enter the
house by tumbling down the chimney and through the fireplace. They wear
festive Santa hats, and they come laden with brightly wrapped gifts that
seem likely to encourage further family time. The “warm” and “wise”
Santa Cows share “goodness and truth,” and it seems to be a message
about getting back to basics, about unplugging a bit from technology and
engaging in physical activity with loved ones, about embracing the
possibility that materialism isn’t the best way to go.
Edens
sprinkles absurd humor throughout the book, including his comparison of
two of the cows’ features to those of Liz Taylor’s, and he maintains a
consistent meter throughout. Lane’s ink-augmented paintings of the cows
are gorgeous, but what strikes me most about his full-page illustrations
is the presence of so many brand-name products. We see a Domino’s pizza
box (and delivery man), cans of 7-Up and Coke, a bag of Lay’s potato
chips, issues of People and TV Guide and a lamp featuring
the Starkist Tuna dolphin. My first thought was product placement, and
then I decided it was more likely a way of showing the excesses of
consumer culture, though the gifts the cows bring also have brand names,
albeit of sports teams.
Santa Cows is a pretty strange
book, but the exceptionally detailed illustrations are fascinating to
study, and there’s a laugh on every page. If you’re tired of reading
about Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, try Holstein, Brown
Swiss, Jersey and Hereford on for size.
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