I've been looking forward to May as the month of the blockbusters, and a
couple weeks ago my movie watching got off to a good start with Spider-Man 3.
Though I read some pretty scathing reviews, I thought the film was
phenomenal and looked forward to watching the next big premiere, Shrek the Third.
There were lines around the lobby for Spidey, so I thought we might do
well to buy tickets for Shrek ahead of time. We never got around to it,
so I was a little nervous when we got to the theater. I needn't have
worried about getting seats; I might have done well to worry instead
about other things...
When we walked into our theater at
10:15, the previews had started without us, but we were the only people
in the audience. A few minutes later, a couple came in and sat down. And
that was it. Seven people at the second showing of Shrek the Third.
Impressive. If our reaction was a typical response, I doubt Shrek will
be packing folks in. I personally couldn't have laughed aloud more than
half a dozen times, and I think every time it was something I'd seen
already on the previews.
The movie begins roughly where the
second left off, with Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) living
a cushy life in the royal kingdom of Far Far Away. They're on an
extended visit, but as much as they enjoy their fancy lodgings, they're
both anxious to get back to their old life in the swamp. Well, Shrek is,
anyway; Fiona thinks it might be time to change things up a bit with
some new additions. But any arguments about the pitfalls of parenthood
will have to wait, because the king (John Cleese) is dying, and he needs
someone to take over. That means either Shrek or Fiona's cousin Arthur
(Justin Timberlake). And since the last thing Shrek wants is to rule the
kingdom, another quest is in order...
It seems like bringing
the Arthurian legend into Shrek's world would be an inspired idea, but
it turns out to be only one of many weak threads in a film that is
surprisingly lackluster. The most interesting thing about Arthur, an
insecure, unpopular boy teased by all of his classmates at his medieval
high school, is his former magic teacher, Merlin (Eric Idle), a highly
eccentric old man with a trick or two up the sleeves of a robe too short
for common decency. There's a bit of conflict between Shrek and Arthur
deriving from the fact that the ogre initially conceals the fact that he
was actually the first in line, but it never feels very pressing.
Nor was I all that invested in the antics of the women attending
Fiona's baby shower at the time when Prince Charming (Rupert Everett)
showed up with an army of villains to take over the kingdom. Narcoleptic
Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri), mannish stepsister Doris (Larry King)
(whose sister Mabel (Regis Philbin) is in league with the villains),
tough-talking Snow White (Amy Poehler), bitter Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph)
and perfect Cinderella (Amy Sedaris) all have their moments, but nobody
really stands out to me as an exciting new character.
The most
consistently entertaining characters remain Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and
Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas). In this installment, there's a bit of
added amusement when the two inadvertently switch bodies, much to each
other's horror. Little of their dialogue is particularly memorable,
however, and my favorite aspect of Donkey this time around is his little
bunch of baby donkey dragons, which are as adorable as they are
physically improbable. In fact, visually speaking, this movie does have a
lot to recommend it, though the baby ogres are a bit freakish looking.
Several contemporary songs are prominently featured, most effectively Cat's in the Cradle and That's What Friends Are For, but none of them makes much of an impact.
In the end, Shrek the Third
is a movie to watch because you loved the two that preceded it. You'll
find enjoyment in the familiar characters but bemoan the fact that they
aren't delivering as many laughs as usual, nor coming together in
service of a story that feels coherent. Hopefully you'll walk out of the
theater smiling, but there's certainly not much need to order these
tickets ahead of time. Something tells me Shrek won't be catching up to
Spidey anytime soon.
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