Halloween Gets a Fairy Tale Twist in Scared Shrekless

Last month saw the release of Puss In Boots, a spin-off of DreamWorks' four-movie Shrek franchise. While I have yet to see it, I did watch a new-to-me Shrek special, Shared Shrekless, on Halloween.

Shrek has proven fertile ground for featurettes of this nature. It's fun to see familiar characters in a specific seasonal situation, and in this case, the characters are doubly familiar since they are largely the classic inhabitants of fairy tales who have been twisted slightly to appear in their current form. The Shrek Halloween special is very much along the same lines as the Christmas special Shrek the Halls, with a gaggle of woodlanders interrupting Shrek's celebration for a night of storytelling.

While gruff green Scottish ogre Shrek (Mike Myers) is overwhelmed and ornery in the Christmas special, here he is more in his element and happy to challenge his friends to a spooky story scare-off in the now-abandoned Duloc castle. Because of the brief time allotted for the special, we don't have time for very many stories, but each of the stories we do hear has a distinct tone.

Shrek's story, a spoof of The Exorcist starring a demented Pinocchio (Cody Cameron), is creepy but perhaps the least memorable. The funniest is the Psycho-flavored one told by Donkey (Dean Edwards) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), who spend the whole time one-upping each other as they try to make each other's fictional selves endure ever more humiliating horrors.

However, the clear standout - for me, anyway - is the blood-curdling tale told by Gingy (Conrad Vernon), just as it was in the Christmas special. Both stories involve a ladylove; in the first, she is undone by an unlikely villain, but here, the romantic interest is also the antagonist, a freakish Frankencookie whose excess of sugar in the production process has rendered her a smothering nightmare of a girlfriend. Kristin Schaal, who I know best as mildly psychotic uber-fan Mel on Flight of the Conchords, seems a perfect choice to convey that sugary-sweet stalker vibe.

I found the animation to be excellent, with all of the fairy tale characters and locations getting an ominous edge. The eerie trees bending to the force of a late-night wind and the cobwebbed ruins of Lord Farquaad's domain are particularly unsettling, and the new animatronic Welcome to Duloc display is frankly terrifying. Most of the original voice cast returns here, with the main exception being Eddie Murphy, but I didn't notice a difference in the voices as I was watching, and Donkey is my favorite character, so I'd say Edwards is an outstanding replacement.

In addition to the main special, which runs just over 20 minutes long, the DVD includes the five-minute-long Thriller Night, which is a spoof of Michael Jackson's Thriller video. It's fun to see so many Shrek characters, starting with those who met their demise in the movies, mimicking those iconic dance moves, but my favorite part of this short is the beginning, which finds a very disgruntled Shrek emerging from a theater playing a movie clearly modeled after The Sound of Music. I especially love Donkey's enthusiasm for yodeling puppets.

I'm one of those folks who scares easily, so while I enjoy getting into the fun of Halloween with some timely movies and specials, I prefer those that are geared at a family audience. Scared Shrekless fits the bill perfectly, and the grumpy ogre seems a better fit for Halloween than Christmas. Hence, while the special isn't exactly up there with It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown for me, it's one I would be happy to give a repeat viewing in Halloweens to come.

Go Along on Shrek and Fiona's Harrowing Honeymoon with Shrek 4-D

When I went to Florida recently with my aunt, uncle and cousin, we split our trip to Universal Studios into two days. We tackled Islands of Adventure on March 17 and spent March 21 at Universal Studios Florida. We did make it into Islands of Adventure again toward the end of our second day, and the crowd was noticeably thinner than it had been the first time around. However, I would say that generally speaking, Islands of Adventure was the more crowded of the two parks. After our experience the first day, my aunt got Fast Passes as soon as we got into the park, and we had no trouble whatsoever getting in on everything we wanted to ride in this park. In fact, by the end of the day, she said that she suspected we wouldn’t have really needed them. Overall, Universal Studios Florida had a much more relaxed feel to it.

The fun started with Shrek 4-D, one of several rides I rode on vacation that was more show than ride. We went through the Fast Pass line quickly, with just enough time to stop and get a good look at various displays like the Duloc bulletin board, upon which are plastered notices for upcoming events, personal ads and all sorts of other goodies. Phony movie posters scattered throughout the line were fun, too; I especially liked the looks of Donkey-Xote: A Feel Good Comedy of the Dark Ages. From outside the ride line, you can see several enormous stills from the movie, as well as a couple of large three-dimensional displays, and nearby you can get your picture taken with Shrek and Donkey. If you’re a big fan of the movies, you’ll probably also want to check out Shrek’s Ye Olde Souvenir Shoppe after the ride ends.

As we got closer to the inner ride area, we saw a television screen upon which Shrek was playing. We happened to catch it right at the end of the movie, so we got to see Fiona’s marriage scene before moving on to the area where we got our real introduction to the ride. Inside, a combination of animatronic characters and images on screens got us up to speed with the fact that several of Shrek’s friends had been captured and were being tortured and that even though the thoroughly unpleasant Lord Farquaad had been eaten by a dragon, his ghost was determined to thwart Shrek and Fiona’s happiness.

We were standing for this portion of the ride, clustered together with everyone trying to get a good view. I didn’t have any trouble seeing what was going on, though at times I didn’t quite catch everything that was being said. It generally wasn’t a problem, though, and I enjoyed the banter of the ride employees as well as the exposition of the Magic Mirror, particularly the tip of the hat to Star Wars.

The main attraction was in the theater, on the way into which we picked up our pairs of glasses. The ride employees want to make sure that as many people can get on as possible, so they try to keep this process orderly, seeing to it that everyone moves all the way down his or her row so that no seats remain empty. The seating process didn’t end up taking very long, and soon we were all comfortably resting with the glasses on our heads, ready for the show to begin.

What Shrek 4-D really is, more than anything else, is an animated short that serves as an epilogue to Shrek. Fiona and Shrek have embarked upon their honeymoon, and Donkey is by their side whether they want him there or not. This attraction doesn’t take the sequels into account; it was first unveiled in 2003, before Shrek 2 came along. So don’t expect to see Puss in Boots anywhere, but his presence wouldn’t make sense anyway given the timeline of the film. You do get to see plenty of Donkey, who is my favorite character in the movies, and of Shrek and Fiona too. Plenty of familiar voices reprise their roles, most notably Mike Myers as Shrek, Eddie Murphy as Donkey and John Lithgow as Farquaad. The animation is high-quality, and the story and jokes are well written. I think we may have laughed more on this ride than any other ride at Universal Studios Florida.

This is definitely a kid-friendly attraction, with lots of silly gags and nothing too off-color in the humor. The 4-D element comes into play now and then, but it’s not overwhelming. It’s fun when a character seems to pop out of the screen or the audience gets sprayed with a light mist when Shrek and Donkey get wet, but there’s nothing too intense here. The seats move a bit, with rickety motion during some of the big action sequences, but it’s just a slight jostle and nothing to cause any concern to those who suffer from motion sickness, as I often do. It’s just a fun, laid-back ride and a great little story that made for a great start to our day. If you’re bonkers for ogres, you certainly won’t want to miss it.

Shrek Forever After Brings the Happily Ever After

Back in 2007, May brought with it a trio of third installments at the cineplex. I was determined to see them all, and I did, but the third time isn’t always the charm. It certainly wasn’t in the case of Shrek. So I worried that the fourth, and allegedly final, volume in the twisted but tended saga of the grumpy green ogre with a heart of gold would fizzle. And yet as the previews sneaked their way into nearly every commercial break as I watched the LOST finale, I realized that this was perhaps my most anticipated movie of the summer. And I began to think that number four might just make up for the disappointment of number three.

Shrek Forever After is not a wholly original story, but then the Shrek franchise has always been about taking familiar stories and putting new twists on them. In addition to the multitude of traditional fairy tale characters, including sinister newbie Rumpelstiltskin, you’ll find similarities to It’s a Wonderful Life, The Princess Bride and Disney’s version of Beauty and the Beast. Which, of course, is a traditional fairy tale in and of itself, but the echoes of the specific Disney version are particularly strong, just as they were in the first movie.

In many ways, it’s a return to the beginning, with the main difference being that Shrek knows where he has been, and he is aware that he’s more than just a surly ogre. I’ve noticed that many stories being written lately have employed a reboot device of some kind; I guess it’s a creative way of treading old territory in new ways. In this case, we see that Shrek (Mike Myers) has grown rather weary of his domestic bliss. He loves his wife and children, but the monotony is getting him down, as is the sense that his domestication has somehow emasculated him. And when enough little irritations pile up, it turns the docile family man into a raging beast who is so desperate for a change that he’s willing to enter into a bargain with the seedy Rumpel (Walt Dohm) in hopes of letting off a little steam.

It’s at this point that the movie begins to bear a great resemblance to the last season of LOST, as it’s once again the lovelorn Scotsman who is aware of two separate realities and who must try to get his old friends to remember each other, and him. In this case, the problem is that Rumpel tricked Shrek into negating his own birth. Unless he can convince Fiona (Cameron Diaz), in this reality a fierce warrior princess, to kiss him - and to truly mean it - before the end of the day, he will cease to exist, and Far Far Away will forever be ruled by a diminutive tyrant with a wide array of wigs to suit each of his moods.

Rumpel is the most significant new character in the film, and he really is creepy. I find him quite a convincing villain, and more threatening than any of the others the franchise has offered up, in part because he is so adept at figuring out what people want and tempting them with it in such a way that it seems they can’t lose. At the same time, however, as soon as Shrek gets his initial burst of old-timey rampaging out of his system and returns to his senses, Rumpel loses a lot of his power. It seems like an affirmation that evil may loom large, but ultimately it can’t come close to equaling the power of good. As Shrek gains strength with each new ally he makes and each friend he recovers, Rumpel grows more and more desolate as even his sycophants begin to drop off, either defecting or fighting among themselves.

Also new to this tale is a whole colony of ogres ruled by a ferocious Fiona who, never having been rescued from the tower, had to fight her way out and has since become a master military schemer. Among these ogres, Shrek is rather puny-looking, and it’s funny to see him in contrast to those who have embraced their slimier natures. Yet the ogres still come across as noble because they are fighting a corrupt government, and I definitely got a whiff or two of Braveheart as they plotted to bring down the oppressive rule keeping them underground. My favorite of the new ogres is Cookie (Craig Robinson), a jumbo fellow with the build and disposition of Hagrid, but considerably better culinary skills. While his comrades talk weapons and maneuvers, his chief concern is feeding the troops.

I find Shrek at his most lovable yet throughout the course of this movie as he valiantly strives to undo the mess he has made, but the one character in this series who has always had pride of place in my heart is hyper, sweet-as-candy Donkey (Eddie Murphy), and that remains the case. As expected, his awakening comes first, since he is such a pure, open-hearted character, though there’s still a process to it, and I found myself very touched by the way his initial violent resistance to Shrek’s overtures of friendship gives way to trust, to the point when Shrek begins to tell him the most fantastical of tales about his alternate life and Donkey responds not with skepticism but with exuberant acceptance. Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) follows a similar path, but unlike Donkey, he is physically much different in this reality, having spent his life pampered and pudgy, so while he is a valuable ally, he’s not quite the stalwart swordsman we’re used to seeing.

I saw the movie in 3-D, and I was rather surprised at how organic the whole thing felt. I expected that they might use the technology to give us a lot of sight gags, like pies being thrown at the audience and that sort of thing. In reality, I can’t remember a single moment like that. So by one token, one might argue that the 3-D is unnecessary, and certainly not worth the extra couple of bucks. But for me, I felt that all the surroundings felt just a bit richer and deeper than they did before. I was able to be drawn more fully into the experience, and I don’t regret springing for 3-D.

Supposedly this is the end of the Shrek tales, and I rather hope it is because it would be nice to see a series that got off to such a promising start go out on such a high note. As much as I enjoyed the first movie, there were a few things about it that left a bad taste in my mouth. Same goes for the second, and the third just dropped the ball. But for me, Shrek Forever After represented all that is best about the series and brought Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss in Boots and all those other characters we love to a true happily ever after.

Quentin Tarantino Re-Writes History With Some Help From Brad Pitt and Christoph Waltz

Last week, my family and I arrived home from our Christmas travels and were soon greeted with a large box of goodies from my brother Benjamin in Japan. Among the items specifically addressed to me were some Japanese chocolate, Pocky (long cracker sticks dipped in chocolate or, my favorite, strawberry icing), a kimono and Quentin Tarantino’s latest flick. Though I claim to be a movie buff, my exposure to Tarantino thus far has been pretty much limited to his guest appearances on American Idol; I suspect that Benjamin wanted to help me close a rather glaring gap in my cinematic experience.

My other brother, Nathan, had caught the movie in the theater and given it a glowing recommendation, as well as a genteel pseudonym: Inglourious Fellows. Not being one to indulge in vulgarities myself, even of the curiously misspelled kind, I’ve followed his lead; you need only glance up at the product listing to see the word I’m replacing. Considering the rather startling title, I must say I expected more pervasive profanity; to be sure, there’s enough of it to merit an R rating purely on the grounds of language, but most of it comes from one character - the same character responsible for a majority of the violence we see on-screen.

That would be Lt. Aldo Raine, played with a hefty helping of John Wayne-style swagger by Brad Pitt. A Tennessee-raised vigilante, he has gathered an elite team of Jewish-American soldiers, along with a German who had taken to killing his fellow soldiers on his own before being recruited. Their task? Killing Nazis. And, in a nod to Aldo’s Apache heritage, scalping them. They descend upon Nazi encampments with swift brutality, leaving behind a horrific trail of carnage, as well as a scarred survivor to spread news of their exploits. There were about half a dozen scenes in the film that inspired in me a sudden desire to sneak out to the kitchen for a snack; just the audio was enough to tell me how violent those sequences became.

Pitt plays a larger-than-life character whose bravado and outrageous twang serve to make him a comical figure, even as he leads bloodthirsty offenses against his targets. Most of his dialogue renders his scenes parodies of the old spaghetti westerns, an impression amplified by the terrific score and Robert Richardson’s sun-drenched cinematography. This is a movie that is often beautiful to behold, when somebody isn’t getting bashed with a baseball bat or riddled with bullets. And at times, it’s goofily idiosyncratic, as when Samuel L. Jackson randomly provides expository narration in two scenes. The over-the-top quality extends to Adolf Hitler (Martin Wuttke), who spends most of his scenes in some degree of panicked hysterics over the Fellows’ grisly accomplishments, and each of the British officials who appears in a scene featuring Mike Myers as a general.

Elsewhere in the film, however, the tone is much more dramatic. A parallel storyline involves a lovely young woman named Emmanuelle (Melanie Laurent), who we know to be Shosanna, the sole survivor of a vicious attack on her Jewish family, who had been in hiding. Now the proprietress of a Parisian cinema, she attracts the affections of Pvt. Fredrick Zoller, a young hero of the Third Reich who, in a three-day span, killed nearly three hundred Allies from his vantage point in a bell tower and now is the star of a movie chronicling the event. In everyday life, he doesn’t seem much like a killing machine, just a kid with a powerful crush. Despite the dangers of failing to comply with Nazi desires, Shosanna makes little secret of her contempt for this man. Nonetheless, when he entreats his boss - Hitler’s right-hand man, Joseph Goebbels (Sylvester Groth) - to hold the film premiere at her theater, she plays along, sensing a rare opportunity. Laurent brings the character to life with poise, spirit and her own brand of bitterness brewed into revenge.

The most impressive performance of the film, however, belongs to Christoph Waltz as Colonel Hans Landa, the Nazi official known as “the Jew Hunter”. While probably ninety percent of his dialogue throughout the film is courteous, soft-spoken and altogether charming, it’s evident from the instant we meet him that this is a very dangerous man. Tension fills any room the moment he enters, and I wouldn’t be surprised if his riveting screen presence earned him a spot among the Best Supporting Actor nominees this year. I compare him to LOST‘s Michael Emerson, and anyone who has read my reviews of the past four seasons will know what a high compliment I’m paying to Waltz. He is truly terrifying. I was also extremely impressed with Denis Menochet as the French farmer with whom he shares the beautifully shot opening scene, which is as intense as it is lengthy. With a sparseness of dialogue comparable to what Jude Law had to work with in Cold Mountain, Menochet conveys volumes about his situation and the nature of the man who has come to pay him a visit.

Tarantino seems to have carved out a niche for himself when it comes to graphic movie violence. There are those who get a charge out of that sort of thing; I am not among them. Nonetheless, while I bemoan the brutality on both sides, I can’t deny that this is a film that is exceptionally well-produced, with outstanding acting and a plot that is strangely compelling despite the total departure from historical accuracy. I probably won’t go out of my way to seek out Tarantino’s other movies, but Inglourious Fellows can join Hot Fuzz, No Country For Old Men and In Bruges on the list of Movies Erin Probably Shouldn’t Have Liked But Mostly Did. Not a bad way to kick off another movie-watching year.

Shrek the Halls Offers Christmas Chaos

Up until last year, my mentioning a surly green creature who gets extra cranky around Christmas automatically would lead most people to assume that I was talking about the Dr. Seuss's Grinch, but now the old Christmas stealer has a bit of competition. Shrek (Mike Myers), the uncouth ogre who's a romantic at heart, got his own Christmas special last year, hot on the heels of his less-than-smashing third film installment. Shrek the Halls is much shorter than Shrek the Third, and the situation is much simpler: Shrek wants his first Christmas as a family man to be perfect, but he doesn't know how to go about it and his friends' shenanigans are giving him a headache. Poor green grouch...

This special, which clocks in at twenty-some minutes, reunites several popular characters from the films, including Shrek's sweet ladylove Fiona (Cameron Diaz), his hyper best buddy Donkey (Eddie Murphy), his suave defender Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), the Gingerbread Man (Conrad Vernon), the Three Blind Mice (Christopher Knights), Pinocchio (Cody Cameron) and the Three Little Pigs (Cameron). As in the movies, when they all come together in Shrek's hovel, enough chaos ensues to aggravate even the most easy-going of folks.

This is a very fast-paced tale, which means the mass confusion comes in short, manageable bursts. Even so, it's nice to have the rewind option available, since there are sometimes several things going on at once and it's easy to miss some of the off-hand remarks by various fairy tale characters. As always, my favorite of the bunch is Donkey, whose youthful enthusiasm has him inundating Shrek with good wishes badly delivered. Donkey has his own idea of what a perfect Christmas involves, and it doesn't match up too well with Shrek's. This makes for many amusing moments, though it's easy to understand why Shrek finds him a bit hard to take.

Those familiar with the series won't be surprised to find that this special contains a bit of suggestive dialogue and a fair amount of humor involving bodily functions. It's all firmly within PG territory, but if you have a low tolerance for belches and sludge, be warned. It's particularly abundant in the specialized version of A Visit From St. Nicholas that Shrek finally gets to recite, after storytime is hi-jacked by Donkey, Puss and Gingy, each of whom has a brief but memorable tale to tell. Puss's is probably my favorite, as it affords him the opportunity to adopt his adorable enormous-eyed expression; Gingy's might be a tad morbid for especially sensitive young viewers.

Like the movies, the special incorporates pop music well, though in this case it's Christmas music. I like the overall theme of familial affection and of togetherness trumping a "perfect" Christmas, though considering that the special starts out in the summer with Shrek's triplets already born, I can't quite work out how it is that this is Shrek's first Christmas with Fiona. Or during their first Christmas, were they too preoccupied with other matters to pay attention to the holiday? At any rate, this potential continuity gap does little to diminish my enjoyment of Shrek the Halls. I wouldn't quite call it a classic, but those who already enjoy these characters should get a kick out of seeing them in such a cheery context.

Third Time Holds Little Charm With Shrek the Third

I've been looking forward to May as the month of the blockbusters, and a couple weeks ago my movie watching got off to a good start with Spider-Man 3. Though I read some pretty scathing reviews, I thought the film was phenomenal and looked forward to watching the next big premiere, Shrek the Third. There were lines around the lobby for Spidey, so I thought we might do well to buy tickets for Shrek ahead of time. We never got around to it, so I was a little nervous when we got to the theater. I needn't have worried about getting seats; I might have done well to worry instead about other things...

When we walked into our theater at 10:15, the previews had started without us, but we were the only people in the audience. A few minutes later, a couple came in and sat down. And that was it. Seven people at the second showing of Shrek the Third. Impressive. If our reaction was a typical response, I doubt Shrek will be packing folks in. I personally couldn't have laughed aloud more than half a dozen times, and I think every time it was something I'd seen already on the previews.

The movie begins roughly where the second left off, with Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) living a cushy life in the royal kingdom of Far Far Away. They're on an extended visit, but as much as they enjoy their fancy lodgings, they're both anxious to get back to their old life in the swamp. Well, Shrek is, anyway; Fiona thinks it might be time to change things up a bit with some new additions. But any arguments about the pitfalls of parenthood will have to wait, because the king (John Cleese) is dying, and he needs someone to take over. That means either Shrek or Fiona's cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake). And since the last thing Shrek wants is to rule the kingdom, another quest is in order...

It seems like bringing the Arthurian legend into Shrek's world would be an inspired idea, but it turns out to be only one of many weak threads in a film that is surprisingly lackluster. The most interesting thing about Arthur, an insecure, unpopular boy teased by all of his classmates at his medieval high school, is his former magic teacher, Merlin (Eric Idle), a highly eccentric old man with a trick or two up the sleeves of a robe too short for common decency. There's a bit of conflict between Shrek and Arthur deriving from the fact that the ogre initially conceals the fact that he was actually the first in line, but it never feels very pressing.

Nor was I all that invested in the antics of the women attending Fiona's baby shower at the time when Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) showed up with an army of villains to take over the kingdom. Narcoleptic Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri), mannish stepsister Doris (Larry King) (whose sister Mabel (Regis Philbin) is in league with the villains), tough-talking Snow White (Amy Poehler), bitter Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph) and perfect Cinderella (Amy Sedaris) all have their moments, but nobody really stands out to me as an exciting new character.

The most consistently entertaining characters remain Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas). In this installment, there's a bit of added amusement when the two inadvertently switch bodies, much to each other's horror. Little of their dialogue is particularly memorable, however, and my favorite aspect of Donkey this time around is his little bunch of baby donkey dragons, which are as adorable as they are physically improbable. In fact, visually speaking, this movie does have a lot to recommend it, though the baby ogres are a bit freakish looking. Several contemporary songs are prominently featured, most effectively Cat's in the Cradle and That's What Friends Are For, but none of them makes much of an impact.

In the end, Shrek the Third is a movie to watch because you loved the two that preceded it. You'll find enjoyment in the familiar characters but bemoan the fact that they aren't delivering as many laughs as usual, nor coming together in service of a story that feels coherent. Hopefully you'll walk out of the theater smiling, but there's certainly not much need to order these tickets ahead of time. Something tells me Shrek won't be catching up to Spidey anytime soon.

Brilliant Animation Spattered with Sludge

If you come to Shrek looking for a squeaky-clean film for your five-year-old to enjoy, you've picked the wrong movie. That isn't to say that he won't enjoy it, but you won't enjoy it when he spends the remainder of the day trying to prove that his belching powers exceed that of an ogre. Just pray the imitation stops there. This is, after all, Mike Myers, the man who brought us Austin Powers. The level of crudeness is taken down a notch for this film marketed towards youngsters, but most of the humor is definitely aimed at adults who haven't quite grown up.

If belching were the only part of this movie that is somewhat uncouth, I'd go ahead and give it a hearty recommendation. But belching doesn't begin to cover the wide array of bodily functions seen here. Young children still in the "doorknob" stage of their lives will, no doubt, find it hilarious when Shrek's flatulence kills a fish, but the smelly jokes get a little old after a while. Beyond physical humor, there is quite a bit of dialogue riddled with profanity and innuendo. Most of this comes from our heroes, Shrek (Myers) and Donkey (Eddie Murphy).

That isn't to say, however, that the film relies solely upon potty humor. Shrek is genuinely funny in many places, tipping a hat to dozens of Disney movies and nursery rhymes. Prince Farquaad (John Lithgow) tortures the gingerbread man during interrogation by dipping his leg in milk and eating it. His magic mirror is frightened into talking when he sees a guard smash a hand mirror. Donkey is lifted off the ground with pixie dust and proclaims, "You ain't never seen a donkey fly!" The princess (Cameron Diaz) sings alternately with a bluebird, but her voice grows too high and the bird explodes trying to imitate it. There's even an allusion towards the end to The Princess Bride.

Most amusing, however, is the frantically friendly Donkey, who could possibly talk the ear of the Micro Machine Man. Okay, so he doesn't talk that fast, but he certainly talks that much. Nonstop. Simultaneously lovable and annoying, Donkey is my favorite character in the film.

Shrek, meanwhile, is a green grouch with a Scottish accent and unpleasant odour. Tired of being judged by his appearance, he agrees to journey with Donkey, partly because the four-legged chatterbox doesn't seem to mind his alarming appearance. But what will happen when he finds himself falling in love with the princess he was sent to rescue, in exchange for the evacuation of his swamp? Could the fairest lady in the land ever see anything in this hideous beast? And what deep dark secret is the princess hiding from her traveling companions?

The animation in this film is breathtaking. Top-notch. The premise is basically another take on Beauty and the Beast, though this film resolves itself much differently than that Disney film did. I certainly wouldn't call this a musical, but there is some singing. Donkey's humming, some background rock and roll, and a couple of incredibly annoying tunes, one welcoming visitors to Farquaad's kingdom and one sung by a dorky French Robin Hood and his merry men. I got a lot of laughs out of this film, but I also got a lot of groans. I would definitely classify it as a film for teens, despite the way Burger King has been saturated with it for the past two months. Enjoy, but be on your guard. Disney this is not.