Mount Doom Sam Declares, "I Can't Carry It For You, But I Can Carry You!"

The Return of the King, the final installment in Peter Jackson's epic film adaptation of J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, is filled with moments that took my breath away. Many of them involve innocent young Pippin: his traumatic departure from best friend Merry, his golden-voiced recitation of an old hobbit walking song, his discussion about death with the sage Gandalf. But if I had to pin the "most iconic" award on any one scene in the film, its star would be not Pippin but Samwise, which is something of a relief to me, as Sam has always been my favorite character and I hated to see him overshadowed entirely.

I speak, of course, of the instance capturing both Sam's rustic simplicity and his heroism, which is inspired by fierce loyalty. As the putrid air of Mordor threatens to engulf them, Sam takes comfort in his recollection of the bucolic Shire. "Do you remember the taste of strawberries?" he asks the tormented Frodo, who doesn't. And that's when Sam's great Hero Moment comes. After appealing to his master to be rid of the Ring once and for all, he bellows, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" And he does, as noble music swells. Several years ago, I purchased a poster-sized calendar in which the photo for the month of January featured this scene. That calendar hangs on my wall today, still reading January 2005; I never turned the page.

On my recent trip to Salem, Massachusetts, I found myself in Harrison's, a comic book store with the most magnificent assortment of geeky collectibles I've ever seen, short of eBay or Amazon. Their Lord of the Rings selection was especially impressive, so I spent some time looking through the figures. I'm glad I took the time to take each box off the peg rather than simply trusting, as was my initial impulse, that everything behind the front figure was the same. If I hadn't done some digging, I never would have found Mount Doom Sam, the one action figure in the bunch whose allure I absolutely could not resist. Even before I activated the sound chip, I suspected that I would be taking Sam home with me, but when a touch of the button hidden in the rocky brown base yielded "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" my decision was made.

That sound clip is probably my favorite part of the figure. I only wish that Sam, like the larger LOST figures I have scattered around my room, played more than two clips. The other is the panicked "Throw it in the fire!" which is certainly fitting, but I would have loved the inclusion of the wistful "Do you remember the taste of strawberries?" That would have made this figure just about perfect. (Upon investigation, I see that Mount Doom Frodo is available online, and for about half what I paid for Sam; I'm mightily tempted to unite these bosom buddies, especially since Frodo's lone quote - "I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things" - is my favorite of his lines from the Mount Doom portion, and maybe the whole film.)

As the box announces, Sam boasts 29 points of articulation, including the neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, middle, legs, knees and ankles. The only problem with all the articulation is that the presence of so many hinges makes the figure look a tad clunky in places, like the abdomen and the knees. His feet come equipped with holes that allow him to fit on pegs on the plastic base, but there's no need to keep him there, as long as you understand that getting him to stand up properly on his own two feet is tricky. Of course, like the LOST figures, his feet are a bit ornery about staying in place on the stand as well, though I eventually got them to cooperate.

Sam stands about four and a half inches tall, maybe a quarter of an inch shorter than MacFarlane's Charlie Pace, but Charlie is seated and hunched over. So Sam is considerably smaller than those figures, and consequently not quite as detailed, though the likeness is still quite acceptable. His feet are dirty and covered with hair, and his hands are grimy. On his face is a rather blank expression; I'd read it as determined, but it's rather nondescript. Sam's hair is a wavy brown, and he wears dark pants and suspenders and a lighter shirt and vest. All are so dingy that color is hard to determine, but varying degrees of brownish-green probably covers it. Attached to his shirt is the sheath for the dagger Sting, which is as good as a sword to a hobbit. Sting itself is included too, but you have to get it out of the packaging and stick it in the sheath yourself. If you choose, you can also equip Sam for battle by placing Sting in his hand.

I'm not one to leave action figures pristine in their packaging, but I would recommend hanging onto the cardboard portion of the box. On the front, behind the area where Sam is encased in plastic, is a nifty map of Middle-Earth. The back, meanwhile, includes a description of the circumstances in which this version of Sam finds himself. I can just hear the strains of Shore's majestic score rise up as I read the paragraph, which concludes, "His love for his friend is true, and the commitment to his promise to Gandalf will not be broken." The most pressing reason to keep the cardboard, though, is the instruction on how to install the three LR44 button cell batteries.

Mount Doom Sam is a hardy toy that I expect to have standing on my piano for years to come, with the occasional adventure to more exotic locales, like our neighbor's flooded front yard, where I took him yesterday. (I snapped a picture of him on his base surrounded by water, but I placed the base on an upside-down bowl to ensure the sound mechanism wasn't damaged.) When I was at Harrison's, I think I saw at least four different Frodos, so I suspect there may be as many Sams out there, though it's probably best if I don't look into the matter more closely. If I'm going to have one Sam, this is the one I would have wanted: Samwise the Brave. His proudest moment. I paid 14 dollars for him, and I saw him online for ten. A fair price, I'd say, for my favorite literary character at his finest.

Become Bewitched in Witch City! Which City? Witch City! Which City? Salem!

Next summer, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter will open in Orlando, and throngs of Harry Potter fans will flock to Florida to see larger-than-life editions of their favorite fantastical locales. I hope to be among them. This year, I got a dose of witches of a different kind when I joined my friends Erica and Art in Salem, Massachusetts, most famous for being the site of the Salem Witch Trials that were the subject of Arthur Miller's The Crucible. It's ironic that the hysteria to stamp out supposed witches resulted in the town being forever associated with them, to the point that it's nicknamed "Witch City." You can count on seeing plenty of store fronts and artwork alluding to witches. Shops boast names like The Broom Closet and Hex Old World Witchery, and if you go later in the day, you're likely to see several tour guides in costume, though pirates seem to be just as prevalent as witches. We were leaving just as these folks were coming out of the woodwork; I get the sense that Salem is at its busiest at night.

My friends live only a short drive from Salem, and on my first day in town, we headed there for dinner after a day of perusing Boston. Salem Beer Works is where I got my official Boston clam chowder, as well as an enormous basket of sweet potato fries. The food and service were excellent, and I loved the decor, especially the line of chalk drawings near the ceiling depicting various menu items. The peach cobbler looked especially enticing, but by the time dessert rolled around, I was too stuffed to take that notion too seriously, especially when I still had half a basket of fries, which the waiter helpfully offered to pack up for me. Our meals cost about twenty dollars each there, including drinks and, for Erica and Art, dessert.

Though we didn't do any more Salem meandering that day, we returned to the same starting point two days later. The parking garage across the street was quite reasonable, especially in comparison to Boston, where it was three times as expensive. Parking during dinner was only three dollars and came with the bonus of a jolly ticket-taker who looked like Santa Claus and cracked corny jokes. The day rate was twelve dollars, and the location was prime: not only right across the street from Salem Beer Works, but in the immediate vicinity of several major Salem attractions, including the old Burial Ground and the Pirate Museum. After a stop at a gift shop featuring a souvenir penny machine and racks full of 20-cent postcards, it was to the cemetery that we headed first. Upon our entry, we were greeted with the incongruous sight of a guy in a giant slushee costume wandering amongst the gravestones. Once Ice Guy went on his merry way, we checked out the courtyard memorializing those who died in 1692 after being accused of witchcraft. The most famous of these include Rebecca Nurse, John Proctor and Martha Corey, all of whom were hanged, and Giles Corey, who was pressed to death. Running along the sidewalk are bits of Proctor's defiant speech, in which he declares himself not guilty though he knows it will cost him his life.

From that point, our wandering took a more cheerful turn as we investigated several eccentric shops and kept our eyes peeled for photo opportunities. Probably my favorite of these was the statue of Samantha Stephens of Bewitched; I'd seen it from the car on our way in, but I didn't realize until we approached it on foot that this wasn't just any witch. She was the only famous fictional witch we found getting this kind of treatment, though I suppose Sabrina or Hermione might have been lurking in a hidden corner of town somewhere. There was a stained glass window near the cemetery depicting a crone who strongly resembled the apple-distributing version of the wicked queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and several shops sold Harry Potter-related items. All the while, the dulcet tones of a lone guitar player reached out ears. The town felt much quieter than Boston, and crossing streets was not nearly as harrowing.

Speaking of harrowing, one of our favorite finds was a shop called Derby Square Book Store. All of the books were half-price despite being new, and there were some pretty unusual selections; I walked away with Our Peaceable Kingdom, a book of black-and-white photographs by one John Drysdale depicting striking instances of interspecies harmony. What made this shop so memorable, however, was the shelving system. Books were piled in precarious stacks up to the ceiling; even after procuring a stepstool, Erica had trouble reaching the ones she was after. While the books were grouped into sections that were supposedly arranged alphabetically by author, I think rampant browsing laid waste to most attempts at organization. It felt almost as random as the yearly book sale sponsored by my hometown library and twice as perilous, since the narrow aisles and the tall stacks added up to a jumbo-sized game of Jenga whenever you wanted to remove a volume. One of my favorite photos from the trip is of Erica flipping through a book while hundreds of others tower around her. If you stop in Salem, put this one on your itinerary; it's the kind of place you have to experience for yourself.

My other favorite shop was a comic book store called Harrison's. As Erica, Art and I are all pretty fond of the Beatles, I got a kick out of the name, though I didn't notice it until we were leaving. By that point, we'd spent a good half hour or so investigating the contents of this geek's paradise. Star Wars, Star Trek and Lord of the Rings were all heavily represented. I was tempted by a plush R2-D2, a two-foot-tall Gandalf and a Death of Spock action figure set, though I reined in my impulses and walked away with just one figure: Mt. Doom Sam, who is fully poseable and bellows, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" I also recommend a tiny antique shop called Tobie's Jewelers, where I discovered a collection of trolls, including several large Norfins, which I remember admiring at an expansive gift shop near Chautauqua, NY, the only place I'd ever seen them. As I debated between the policeman and a fireman (eventually settling on the former in hopes of recreating the Make Way for Ducklings scene in my backyard), the gregarious women running the shop kept us engaged in pleasant conversation.

Museums abound in Salem, whether you're into witches, pirates or Lizzie Borden, but while we perused the gift shops of several of these establishments, we stuck to the free territory, which was quite entertaining enough on its own. The Salem Wax Museum of Witches and Seafarers is one place with several photo ops right in the gift shop. A number of shops have interesting statues out front; I found two at Maria's Sweet Somethings: Wicked Good Confections. There's the Revolutionary-era fellow austerely holding out a blackboard on which are written messages for the day, and there's also an enormous, delicious-looking ice cream cone. My vote for the funniest store front in Salem goes to The Lobster Shanty, which promises "Warm Beer," "Lousy Food," "Surly Waitresses," "Rude Bartenders" and "Cranky Cooks." And no trip to Salem would be complete without a stop at the Salem Witch Museum, which offers a vast array of witch-related items. Though this was one of our last stops, I still purchased a Merlin hat, primarily for the purpose of having a few photos of me in Salem with a wizard hat on my head.

There are dozens of eateries to choose from in Salem. Having already eaten at Salem Beer Works the other day, we opted for the Irish pub O'Neill's for lunch. There, I had the tastiest calamari I've ever eaten, while Art and Erica enjoyed some traditional fish and chips. Lunch was somewhere in the area of ten to fifteen dollars, including drinks, excluding dessert, as we had our eye on ice cream cones at Maria's, though we eventually abandoned that idea because so many others had the same notion and we didn't feel like contending with the crowd. We capped our day off with a trip to the House of the Seven Gables, though we had to content ourselves with the exterior view, since tours were closed because of a wedding. Erica, having taken the tour before, gave me the abbreviated version, and we snapped a few quick pictures and spent a moment at a nearby overlook gazing out at the ocean, where dozens of boats were on the move.

As with Boston, it's pretty much up to you how much money you spend in Salem. There's no reason you have to break the bank to have a good time. Though I'm sure the tours and museums are interesting, I didn't feel as though I missed out on anything by skipping out on those. Just bring a camera, a sense of humor and a spirit of exploration, and I'm sure you'll find Salem every bit as satisfying as I did.