Unruly Children Get a Lesson in Disobeying

I'm a rule follower. I tend to do what I am supposed to do because I don't want to get in trouble for flying in the face of authority. But I wasn't always so cautious. Throughout most of my single digits, I was downright rebellious. Let's Talk About... Disobeying, written by Joy Berry and illustrated by John Costanza, was published especially for kids like me.

Disobeying is part of a virtue-promoting series whose other installments include Being Selfish and Teasing. This was probably my favorite of the three when I was the age of the main character, a short, brown-haired girl with a knack for trouble. She's probably around six or so, old enough to do several things independently, young enough that her parents have laid ground rules for each of those activities.

Some instructions, such as the warnings against playing in the street or touching the oven, are for her own safety. Some, such as the restrictions on pre-dinner snacks, are for her more general well-being, while others, like being told to pick up her toys and play nicely with other children, are instrumental in shaping her into a responsible and considerate young woman.

I always found this book funny and easy to relate to. The girl gets into many messes, most of her own making. She flubs up again and again. But eventually she learns from her mistakes. That's not to say that she will always be obedient in the future, but she has a much better grasp on the consequences of disregarding her parents' rules, and so do the kids reading. Berry also allows for disagreement but encourages children to engage in a reasonable discussion rather than throwing a temper tantrum.

Costanza makes his anti-heroine engaging and lively, both aggravating and sympathetic. Often witnessing her indiscretions is her agreeable orange cat, while her doting but firm mother, who bears a remarkable resemblance to Wilma Flintstone, and her authoritarian but forgiving father, who spends most of his time looking cross and squinty-eyed behind his oversized glasses, are often heard rather than seen but appear on several pages.

Let's Talk About... Disobeying is a good book for driving home the importance of honoring one's mother and father. "Your parents have good reasons for telling you what to do," Berry writes. Listen to them.

Never Tease a Sister, Cuz Teasing Isn't Nice...

I have two brothers, so I know all about teasing. It's annoying, sometimes downright aggravating. I've been on the receiving end many times; I'm afraid I've dished it out myself on numerous occasions. In Let's Talk About... Teasing, Joy Berry and illustrator John Costanza tackle this ticklish topic with practicality and humor.

Berry's text is straightforward and simple, and it reads more smoothly than in Let's Talk About... Being Selfish, another book in the series, which featured bullets on some of the pages, breaking up the flow of the writing. Teasing feels much more fluid because of this and the fact that there are two prominent characters throughout the book.

There's a little girl with a head of thick burgundy curls, which are often augmented by yellow bows. In the first half of the book, she's badgered relentlessly by a mirthful Weasley-haired boy who, as we find out at the end of the book, is her brother, though whether he's older or younger is hard to say. I would guess maybe a year older. He makes fun of her clothes, her food, her emotional reactions to movies, her inability to tie her shoes and ride a bike without training wheels. He is obnoxious.

The book reaches its turning point with the following illuminating notion: "If you want someone to stop teasing you, you must not become frustrated. You must not get embarrassed or become upset. To make sure that you do not do these things, you must ignore the people who are teasing you. Do not pay attention to what they are saying." Easier said than done, says the brother-badgered Erin. But at least it's worth a try...

In the rest of the book, the girl quietly observes her brother as he interacts with his friends, and in thought bubbles we see her contemplating whether she should tease him over one thing or another. But because she remembers how badly she felt when he gave her a hard time, she curtails her impulses, and in the end her restraint pays off with an improved relationship with her brother. At least for the afternoon.

I like the fact that this book has a definite story arc. It could be pulled off a little better, I think; we get the girl's thought process, but her brother doesn't seem to even know she's around throughout the second half of the book, so his gratitude to her in the end seems a bit out of the blue. Still, though he doesn't know how she struggled with her decision to withhold sarcastic or embarrassing comments, he's evidently noticed that his sister has not said anything mean to him even though he belittled her all morning. So it's nice to see that realization lead to a change in behavior.

Implementing the suggestions in this book is not always easy, but a little empathy can go a long way. Teasing is a step in the right direction.

Costanza Shows the Pitfalls of Being Selfish

Most of us are a little selfish from time to time. But it's not a quality we want to cultivate. In Joy Berry's Let's Talk About... Being Selfish, she provides a very simple primer for young children on the basics of unselfish behavior.

One of several books in this series, Being Selfish is unapologetically didactic. It's not so much a story as a series of examples. While the text presents the basic ideas, it's the illustrations by John Costanza that make the book interesting.

Costanza gives us three main characters here. There's a black-haired, burly, glowering girl who reminds me of Lucy Van Pelt; she is the model of selfish behavior and only gets six pages in this book, hoarding a pile of toys, chomping greedily on a candy bar, hollering at the hapless, scrawny blond boy who dares to request that she share the wealth.

This boy remains throughout the rest of the book to model unselfish behavior and show how much happier everyone is when there's conscientiousness and sharing involved. The recipient of his consideration is another girl, this one dark-skinned, over-all clad and easy-going. Also appearing periodically is the boy's tagalong dachshund.

The writing isn't particularly interesting; it reads like a Power Point presentation for the kindergarten set. The tone is rather condescending and preachy: "People who do not share their things with others are SELFISH. SELFISH people care only about themselves. They do not care about the thoughts and feelings of other people."

However, Berry provides some practical advice for sticky situations. She suggests putting away food if there is no way to divide it; if there is, one person should split the food in half and the other should choose which piece to take. She also allows for withholding items from those who might damage them, as long as they are kept out of sight.

The pictures are what will keep kids engaged with Being Selfish. With practical but whimsical illustrations complete with dialogue bubbles, Costanza drives home Berry's rather dry points. Children might not recall the definition the text provides, but chances are, they'll want to avoid turning out like that bully in the beginning. One way or another, then, they're likely to absorb the lesson and think twice the next time they are in a position to act selfish.