This Fall, Fall For Secondhand Serenade's A Twist in my Story

I work in a kiosk in the mall, which means that even when there aren’t many customers around, I can’t honestly describe my shift as “quiet,” since I’m getting a full blast of the mall radio at all times. During one glorious kiosk season, whoever was in charge of the radio must have been feeling nostalgic, and I got treated to the likes of Jim Croce, the Turtles, Arlo Guthrie and even the occasional Simon and Garfunkel. Usually, however, the music that plays is much more recent, and little of it appeals to my sensibilities. Still, once in a while, a song will capture my attention, which is what happened this year with Fall For You, a song that I have heard nearly every day I’ve worked since the kiosk opened. I don’t mind; in fact, I look forward to it. So I decided that I should find out just where this song came from, and that led me to Secondhand Serenade.

I’d never heard of this one-man band before, nor had I ever encountered one of the songs written by singer-songwriter John Vesely, who has released three albums under the band name inspired by the fact that he began writing songs to sing to his wife, meaning that any other listeners were getting them “secondhand”. Sadly, this sweet sentiment comes with a bitter story, as Vesely and his wife separated in 2008, the same year that he released A Twist in the Story, the album from which Fall For You is drawn, and the pain of the fracturing relationship is evident throughout.

In this second album, Vesely has orchestral backing, and other vocalists occasionally chime in, but he frequently harmonizes with himself as he did on his first album, often with quite affecting results. When my fondness for the album’s platinum single led me to track down the rest of the songs, I feared that it would turn out to be a fluke and that the rest of his music wouldn’t particularly appeal to me. However, I am happy to report that instead, I’ve found another artist to add to my list of favorites.

Fall for You - This song comes second on the album, but since it’s what pulled me in to begin with, I felt it fitting to start here. What captures my attention first is the piano. I’m always a sucker for a melodically strong song in which piano is the most prominent instrument, whether it’s something gorgeously legato like John Denver’s For You or refreshingly exuberant like Train’s Drops of Jupiter. Here, I love the way it makes its presence known through sparseness, only one chord per measure, before giving way to more persistent accompaniment in the first chorus. It’s almost drowned out during the electrified, percussion-heavy second verse, chorus and bridge, but before the final angsty chorus, we’re treated to a final chorus backed just by that delicate piano.

Vesely doesn’t have the smoothest of voices; there’s a raw edge to it that reminds me of Billie Jo Armstrong, particularly in Wake Me Up When September Ends, probably my favorite Green Day song. He has an especially plaintive tone here; we get the sense that this is a relationship that has gone sour but that he is still very much in love and ready to own up to whatever of his own mistakes may have contributed to the rift. In that regard, this song calls to mind Journey’s Open Arms, a passionate ballad that will always hold a special place in my heart for causing me to swoon for Clay Aiken, who sang it during the semi-finals of American Idol.

But I digress, as I am wont to do. The point is that the combination of the dynamic use of piano, very personal lyrics and the wrenching delivery make this a song that I genuinely don’t object to having lodged in my head all day. Vesely has an anguished tone throughout much of the song, at times almost shouting the lyrics, while nearly whispering at others. The aching vulnerability in the word “live“ on the last piano-driven chorus is especially affecting. Displaying a curious mixture of despair and hope, along with a repetitive phrase that burrows right into your brain, Fall For You is the album’s standout track. “Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again. Don’t make me change my mind, or I won‘t live to see another day, I swear it‘s true, because a girl like you is impossible to find. You’re impossible to find.”

Like a Knife - This track is more driven by electric guitar, and it too has to do with the breakdown of a relationship. It’s a natural lead-in to Fall For You, as the song seems to stem from the immediate aftermath of a break-up. At times, the strings of the electric guitar seem to slash like a knife; elsewhere in the song, when he sings of her walking out of his life, a solemn military-style march accompanies him. Meanwhile, his intricate harmonies toward the end of the song express a yearning for togetherness. “Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain, and no matter where I go, it’s always pouring all the same.”

Maybe - Another pleading song, with a harsher edge to it than Fall For You. Electric guitars accompany Vesely’s accusatory vocals as he sings of a woman who refuses to listen to his side of the story. This, too, includes a note of optimism toward the end, but it feels like a vain hope, as though this relationship has long passed the point of repair. One of the most hard-rocking tracks on the album. “There goes my ring; it might as well have been shattered. And I'm here to sing about the things that mattered. About the things that made us feel alive for oh so long. About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong.”

Stranger - This piano-heavy track begins with some mysterious-sounding instrumentation I can’t quite identify, but it adds a mystical edge to this mellow song that seems to have inspired the cover art of an angel lying on a couch. An unabashedly affectionate song that is one of my favorites on the album, it features some nice harmony and the sorts of sentiments that seem likely to set the heart of many a romantic aflutter. “Your beauty seems so far away, I’d have to write a thousand songs to make you comprehend how beautiful you are.”

Your Call - A nostalgic series of recollections backed by acoustic guitar. The lines in the first verse are parsed rather strangely, but that makes them stand out more. I also like the way the violins are plucked to add a sense of urgency in the last verse. Still, my favorite part of the song is the beautifully sung chorus, in which Vesely quietly sings with himself, adding to the earnest quality of the song. “I was born to tell you I love you, and I am torn to do what I have to.”

Suppose - This electric guitar-heavy song is more on the rockin’ side of things than most tracks on the album. It reminds me a bit of If I Loved You from the musical Carousel in that most of the “suppose” statements he is making are the way that he actually feels. A very emotionally raw track. “My eyes are screaming for the sight of you, and tonight, I’m dreaming of all the things that we’ve been through.”

A Twist in My Story - This title track is another acoustic number, and since Vesely refers to his divorce as the twist in his story, I get the sense that this is about him learning how to live again after a period of numbness following the breakdown of his relationship with his wife. It reminds me of Bella, the narrator of most of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series, in New Moon, when the departure of her boyfriend Edward causes a complete detachment from life, until one day she suddenly finds herself starting to engage with the world again. I especially like the way the guitar is played to accentuate the idea of his heart roaring back to life, and the majestic-sounding percussion toward the end of the song is also impressive. “Say, what’s that sound? It’s my heartbeat. It’s getting much louder. My heartbeat is stronger than ever. I’m feeling so alive. I’m feeling so alive.”

Why - Piano and guitar work together on this introspective song that exploits Vesely’s upper register well. The song is an acknowledgment of past wrongs on his part and a plea for understanding on hers, with the verses answering all of the questions the chorus asks. It reminds me a bit of John Denver’s I’m Sorry, with the speaker apologizing but never truly accepting the blame for the breakdown. “What matters most? Everything that you feel while listening to every word that I sing. I promise I will bring you home.”

Stay Close, Don’t Go - Electric guitars are prominent on this plaintive song in which he pleads for her not to leave. Again, I find myself thinking of Bella, who becomes so dependent upon Edward that she can’t imagine herself living without him, while the verse in which he confesses to staring at her as she sleeps reminds me of Edward. At no point in the series, however, is he in any genuine danger of Bella leaving him, whereas she lives in a constant state of adulation and insecurity that he will abandon her. At any rate, a rather angsty song. “Don’t you see, I’m not the only one for you, but you’re the only one for me.”

Pretend - There’s an aching tone to this acoustic guitar-driven track. The relationship has broken down at this point, and he wants to move on, but he can’t figure out how to make a clean break. A melodic song with a despairing tone, it is one of the quieter songs on the album. “It’s hard to be all alone. I never got through your disguise. I guess I’ll just go and face all my fear.”

Goodbye - I’m back to thinking about John Denver again in this mostly mellow track backed by acoustic guitar. “It’s not enough to say I’m sorry” seems like an appropriate admission of the inadequacy of a semi-sincere apology, even in the form of a beautiful song. I’m Sorry has a companion song in Goodbye Again, and Why’s companion is this repetitive song in which he confesses that he just needs to say goodbye. The song ends with his layered voice lending an air of harmony to the final moments of an album that is so acutely focused on discord.

A Twist in My Story is not a particularly uplifting album. It reminds me of Jason Robert Brown’s The Last Five Years, a musical for two people in which the man chronicles his five-year relationship from beginning to end and she from end to beginning. Vesely only gives us hints of the heady early stages of this romance; mainly it’s just a collection of reflections on what went wrong and how to go on living now that everything has changed. A Twist in My Story is a very October sort of CD: bleak but beautiful.