I am a Pirate Who Doesn't Do Anything,
or so I have been claiming for years. As any die-hard VeggieTales fan
will tell you, the most important criterion for being a member of this
exclusive club is that one can truthfully state, "I've never been to
Boston in the fall." This week, I veered dangerously close to
relinquishing my title, but a season stood between me and certain pirate
productivity. I have now been to Boston, but not in the fall.
The city of Boston intrigued me long before I became a VeggieTales fan.
It's steeped in history and culture; the site of the Boston Tea Party
and Paul Revere's Ride, the air is thick with patriotism. It's the
setting of Cheers, a show I enjoyed, which gave rise to Frasier, a show I adored, and it's the hometown of Major Charles Emerson Winchester III on M*A*S*H,
my favorite show of all. Then, of course, there was the Kingston Trio's
harrowing tale of the man named Charlie who rode on the MTA and never
returned, and the sneaking suspicion that I would never really be able
to say I'd eaten clam chowder until I'd gobbled a bowl from Boston.
Yes, there's a lot to see there. And I only dipped my toe in the stream
during my visit with my friends Erica and Art, who have worked in
Boston and lived in the greater Boston area for two years. Nonetheless,
for a short trip, I saw a great deal, starting with the moment when I
got off the train and found myself studying the nearby buildings on the
sidewalk above, trying to get my bearings. On our way out of town, my
hosts pointed out several buildings, but what made the biggest
impression was the traffic, which inched along in the aftermath of a
game at Fenway Park, though every once in a while a driver got gutsy and
tried to do some ill-advised passing, and now and then the guys in the
next lane over, all decked out in their Red Sox regalia, bellowed
something unintelligible. That was a Wednesday night. When they drove me
into town on Sunday morning, the situation was entirely different, as
the roads were virtually deserted, leaving me plenty of opportunity to
peer out the window to drink in such sights as the college campuses
where Art and Erica teach and an array of unique statues and signs. We
also stopped at a coffee shop where I got a dose of the creativity of
some artsy locals; on the walls were drawings for sale, and the tables
themselves were works of art, each decorated with a different theme.
But the main event in terms of Boston sight-seeing occurred on
Thursday, the first full day of my trip. This was when we devoted the
bulk of one day to wandering around town on foot, soaking in as much as
we could before the clouds looming ominously overhead burst and soaked
us. Parking in Boston is expensive; we found a garage right near Faneuil
Hall Market Place with day rates of $36, which was pretty typical; by
comparison, the top rate at our parking garage in the heart of Salem was
$12. Speaking of which, if you're in the area for a few days and plan
to go to both places, I'd save most of your postcard-buying for Salem.
The cheapest ones I found in Boston were 40 cents a piece, whereas in
Salem they're readily available for 20 cents each, and you'll find most
of the same ones. Ones that I couldn't find in Salem included Cheers
postcards, available from the official gift shop, and cards featuring
the statues erected in commemoration of Robert McCloskey's Make Way for Ducklings.
In general, however, if you're planning to buy a big stack, you might
want to hold off on all but a couple of specific designs.
Faneuil Hall is a massive shopping area reminding me of Portobello Road, described in the Disney movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks
as a place containing "anything and everything a chap can unload."
While there were quite a few free-floating vendors, though, most of the
shopping was more stationary, with permanent storefronts for every
taste. There were the traditional souvenir shops, of course; probably my
favorite of these was Best of Boston, which featured a wide array of
t-shirts, local confections, bells, shot glasses and anything else you
might want to bring home. If you don't mind a few funny looks, I highly
recommend purchasing either a crab hat or a lobster hat - or both. They
run six dollars a piece and are wonderfully goofy-looking, making fun
vacation photos even more memorable. Although I didn't end up buying
anything at Newbury Comics - where visitors are greeted by Zoltar, that
troublesome magician responsible for the transformation in Big -
we probably spent more time in that store than any other, and I found
about 50 things I wouldn't have minded getting. I discovered on this
trip that comic book stores are my downfall. Whatever yours is, you'll
no doubt find plenty of opportunities to empty out your wallet. For an
idea of what to expect, you can check out
www.faneuilhallmarketplace.com.
In the midst of this bustling
marketplace, a distinctive sign jumps out at the casual wanderer:
Cheers. This is the eatery that replicates the layout of the famous bar
"where everybody knows your name." We arrived in the early afternoon and
didn't have to wait to get inside. Not quite ready for lunch - and
suspecting that prices at such a novelty restaurant would be steep - we
opted to have a drink at the bar. Art, a connoisseur of brews, was
impressed by the Samuel Adams Boston Brick Red, which the bartender told
us is only available around Boston. Erica and I quenched our thirst
with a couple of tasty root beers bearing the Cheers label. My 12-ounce
root beer cost $2.50, which I didn't think was too exorbitant,
especially since I took the bottle home as a souvenir. Scattered around
the bar area as well as the gift shop are several cardboard stand-up
characters just screaming "photo op!" You can cozy up to Sam, Diane,
Woody and Carla, and Norm twice. I was a little disappointed that my
favorite characters, Frasier and Cliff, were not anywhere to be found,
but I was happy to ham it up with the rest of the gang. At the gift
shop, I purchased a few mementos, including a postcard (as I recall, I
only bought one because they were a dollar each) and a Cheers canteen
keychain.
Erica had found a map directing us from this Cheers
to the one where the exterior shots from the show were filmed, so we
decided to continue our journey in that direction. All we had to do was
follow the Freedom Trail, a thick red line on the sidewalk leading past
several historically significant stops. As we passed numerous gregarious
tour guides in 18th-century garb, we saw the State House, Old City Hall
and the Granary Burying Ground, where we found the graves of Paul
Revere, Samuel Adams and Ben Franklin's parents. Among the statues we
saw, some of the most interesting were the monuments to the victims of
the Potato Famine and the impressive statue of Ben Franklin, though my
favorite series of statues commemorated Make Way for Ducklings
with a mama duck trailed by eight ducklings. This creation by Nancy
Schon is located in Boston Public Garden, a gorgeous park that is the
site where the mallards in the book choose to raise their brood. Both
before and after Erica snapped some pictures of me with the ducks, we
spotted families with young children doing the same. There was even an
infant small enough to perch on one of the ducklings. This seems to be a
very popular attraction for youngsters. From this point, it didn't take
us long to get to "Cheers", which is actually called the Bull &
Finch pub. We took a few photos outside but didn't go in; while we'd
only covered part of the Freedom Trail, we were tired out from our
exertions, and as it started to rain before we got back to the
marketplace, we decided to make for my friends' favorite Salem
restaurant instead of meandering Faneuil Hall trying to decide where to
eat. Technically, then, I didn't eat clam chowder in Boston, but I
figure Salem is close enough. It certainly was excellent.
If
you want to get an extensive Boston experience, you don't have to spend a
lot of money. While there are plenty of attractions - such as the Duck
Tours, which show Boston by land and by sea; the guided walking tours;
and several museums - that charge admission, nothing we did cost us
anything. Of course, parking is an expense for which you must plan, and I
defy anybody to escape Faneuil Hall without a few souvenirs. (A word to
the wise - though the wise would probably never consider this anyway:
Don't bother with the lobster claw harmonica. It was sealed in plastic,
so it wasn't until I got back to Erie that I discovered that I could
barely get a sound out of it. Oh, well; it was only three bucks, and it
will look fun on the piano...) But you don't need to participate in the
expensive tourist stuff to get the most out of your trip. As for me, for
a Pirate Who Doesn't Do Anything, it seems to me I did a lot.
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