Tuesday, January 23, 2007

These Chums Should Scrub Their Mouths Out With Soap, But We Can Learn From Them

Watching a movie with my mom can be a very interesting experience. If it's an action-packed film full of narrow escapes and violent encounters, we can bank on her letting out at least three or four screeches loud enough to rouse the whole neighborhood. If it's a mystery, she's sure to spout several inquiries at the television or her fellow viewers as to what is going on. But I don't think I have ever witnessed her having a more vocal reaction to a film than she had to The Chumscrubber.

The movie came courtesy of my brother Nathan, who had seen it and raved about it. Though he knew just what to expect from the ensuing scenes, Mom and I had little idea what this indie had to offer. As it turned out, what it offered more than anything else was ludicrously incompetent parents. "Oh, my gosh!" Mom yowled, time and again, slapping her pillow in dismay as the adults in this freakishly perfect community failed to listen to a word their teenagers were (or weren't) saying. "These people are such idiots!" She was incensed. Furious. Livid that even in an exaggeration of reality the phrases "talking without speaking" and "hearing without listening" could have such broad applicability. But if Paul Simon had woken up one day in the world of this movie, he may just have thrown up his hands in despair and called it a day.

The movie revolves around Dean Stiffle (Jamie Bell), a surly, disengaged teen who turns out to be just about the most normal character in the film. After finding his best friend Troy (Josh Janowicz) dead in his room, his already dreary life goes from bad to worse. His psychologist dad, who's been shoving pills down his throat for as long as he can remember, keeps pressing him for his feelings in the face of losing Troy so he can incorporate his responses into his next book. Class punk Billy (Justin Chatwin) and his lackey Lee (Lou Taylor Pucci) torment him with re-enactments of Troy's death. Oh, and then they kidnap his brother Charlie (Rory Culkin) so that Dean will be forced to retrieve the drugs still stashed in Troy's room.

Except they kidnap the wrong Charlie: Charlie Bratler (Thomas Curtis), a scrawny tuba-playing geek who initially is rather amused by the proceedings, enjoying the change of pace, particularly the attentions of Crystal (Camilla Belle), a compassionate young woman who seems to be romantically attached to Billy but is growing fonder of Dean by the hour. So the plan seems pointless for a while until Billy refuses to release Charlie after repeated requests and grows violent after Dean delivers the wrong goods, thanks to some intervention by his real brother, who's such a twerp it probably would have been much better for everybody if he actually had been the one kidnapped.

While the film focuses on the journey of these young characters through a wasteland of sugary suburbia more garish than the neighborhood featured in the haunting Edward Scissorhands, what had my mom shaking her fists was the parents, from Dean's exploitative father (William Fichtner) and burnt-out, vitamin-obsessed mother (Allison Janney) to Crystal's mother (Carrie-Anne Moss), who is so obsessed with staying youthful that she competes with her daughter for the attention of teenage boys, and from Troy's mother (Glenn Close), who catatonically accepts casseroles while calling all her neighbors to assure them, "In no way whatsoever do I blame you for Troy's death," to Lee's parents (Caroline Goodall and Jason Isaacs), who refuse to pay attention when he tries to let them in on Billy's plot.

Worst of all, though, is perpetually busy Terri Bratley (Rita Wilson), who is so occupied with talking a mile a minute while she works out the overly complicated last-minute details of her wedding that she fails to realize her son is missing. She's so insufferable, it's a good thing she's balanced out by the delicate naivete of her fiance, mayor Michael Ebbs (Ralph Fiennes), who's been in a bit of a daze since the unfortunate tumble that introduced him to Terri. He recently experienced a sense of awakening, however, thanks to a book written by Dean's dad, so while he still seems confused, he wanders about now enmeshed in eccentricity and awash with exuberance, eager to share his newly acquired vision - which compels him to immerse himself in liquids and paint dolphins on the living room walls - with the world. He is easily my favorite character.

But Dean and Crystal are pretty likable protagonists, and it's up to them to break free of the constraints of their crippling surroundings in order to do what they know is right. So this maddening, often foul-mouthed, occasionally violent satire ultimately acts as a morality play. And if my mom's screams of indignation are any indication, I think they got the message across.

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