Thursday, September 8, 2005

Little Mermaid II: Return to the Video Store for a Better Film

Sixteen years ago, The Little Mermaid splashed its way into the hearts of millions of viewers, becoming one of the most beloved Disney films ever made. Eleven years later, Hans Christian Andersen rolled over in his grave. (Not for the first time…) They had to do it, didn’t they? It seems Disney has gotten desperate. Apparently running out of ideas, they are resorting to a constant stream of remakes and direct-to-video sequels, hoping to cash in on the popularity of the earlier, high-quality films. There are exceptions to the low-quality rule, of course. The Aladdin and Lion King sequels were decent; Toy Story 2, The Rescuers Down Under and Fantasia 2000 were exemplary. But The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea has little hope of being counted among such prestigious company.

The basic plot of the film is an exact reversal of the first. Melody (Tara Charendoff), daughter of the mermaid-turned-human Ariel (Jodi Benson), adores the sea but is forbidden from going near it. The justifications are different; while King Triton (Kenneth Mars) harbored an inherent distrust of humans, Ariel loves the sea’s inhabitants but fears that Melody will get kidnapped if she ventures anywhere near the water. Melody is headstrong like her mother, and predictably she disobeys the edict. But Ariel’s attitude is so bothersome that it poisons the film from the start. When the ceremonious unveiling of the infant princess – accompanied by a rather shrill and jarring song containing too many random snippets of dialogue – is cut short by the arrival of Morgana (Pat Caroll) – sister of the late sea witch Ursula (also Pat Caroll) – who tries to snatch the infant, Ariel is so spooked that she declares the sea off-limits until Morgana is found (which nobody seems to take much trouble to do in the intervening years). For some reason, this means that Ariel can’t go near the sea either and that none of her relatives can visit. She cuts herself and her daughter off from their heritage – even tossing away the locket her father gave Melody as a reminder of her connection to the kingdom of Atlantica – and she never offers Melody any word of explanation as to why she must stay within the castle walls, let alone a word of warning to watch out for a skinny half-octopus woman who hangs around with two manta rays and a pygmy shark (Clancy Brown).

In addition to the obvious cloning of the first film – Morgana gives Melody fins, for crying out loud! – the filmmakers are most definitely borrowing heavily from Sleeping Beauty. Artistically speaking, that is a haunting film, but it terms of plot, it has always gotten on my nerves. The logic seems to me incredibly faulty. Why couldn’t Aurora’s parents just keep a close eye on her and, when she got old enough to understand, warn her not to touch a spinning spindle? Or if they were going to go through with keeping her in cognito, why in the world didn’t they wait one more day to take her back to the castle? Similarly, why didn’t Ariel just tell Melody what was going on? How can she think she’s protecting her well if her daughter lacks all the pertinent information? And, recalling her own recent headstrong ways, how can she think that Melody will accept blanket prohibitions that come with no explanations and no opportunity for discussion? Then again, if she is so absolutely determined to keep Melody away from the sea, then why don’t they move to a nice castle several hundred miles inland? If the situation is that desperate, then surely a move wouldn’t be out of order. At any rate, Morgana’s sudden appearance within the first ten minutes of the movie, right in the middle of a presentation celebration to which she was not invited, carries strong echoes of Maleficent, except that the Sleeping Beauty opening was elegant and the villain’s grand entrance chilling. This opening is cloying, and Morgana just looks silly and out of place when she shows up using her tentacles as water skis. As in Sleeping Beauty, the parents’ insistence on keeping the princess in the dark leads to disaster. At least Ariel finally admits that she screwed up.

The animation is decent. Certainly it would be appropriate for a high-quality Saturday morning cartoon. I loved the Little Mermaid television series, but whatever they did right in that instance they failed to do here. Of course, that entire series was a prequel, which allowed the creators to place Ariel and her friends in all sorts of innocent undersea adventures that could resolve themselves in the course of half an hour. As films go, the artistry lacks something. Then again, there simply is not a worthwhile enough story to merit the care that went into each frame of the original. It mimics the original to a groan-worthy degree, taking side trips that feel entirely unnecessary. We get all these hints of a backstory with the whiny Morgana, who is endlessly bitter toward her favored sister Ursula, but it serves little purpose. We are offered glimpses of Melody’s human peers, who all seem to be snobby, pig-faced jerks, aside from a very cute fellow who just appears to be a first-class wimp. We get similarly brief peeks at the pre-teen merfolk, all of whom seem friendly and attractive. (One bears a slight resemblance to Aaron Carter.) The lesson: humans bad, merfolk good? The walrus and penguin comic relief duo Tip (Max Casella) and Dash (Stephen Furst) fail to perform their humorous duties effectively. They don’t seem to belong in the film at all, and the song they sing as they promise to escort Melody on her adventure seems like a theme song to a television series where they would be more appropriately placed – though I suspect if such a series were in place, it would not outlast a season. More effective is Undertow, Morgana’s tough-talking shark sidekick who spends most of the movie in an unnaturally small state thanks to Triton’s trident, though the funniest character is still Sebastian (Samuel E. Wright), whose current thankless task is looking our for Melody’s welfare.

Which brings me to another point. Many of the characters in this film are not human, yet it seems as though they are being afforded life spans that are comparable to that of a human. Twelve years later – at least 13 years after the conclusion of the first film – Max (Frank Welker) the dog still romps around with a puppyish energy, though common sense indicates that he must be at least 15 years old. Sebastian complains that he is getting too old for such a stressful job and a now deep-voiced Flounder (Cam Clarke) is twice as big and has a brood of half a dozen fry, so at least some passage of time is acknowledged, but I would think that by this time Flounder, Sebastian and Scuttle (Buddy Hackett) would have gone to their great reward – especially considering the fact that the youth of Disney films tend to grow up unnaturally quickly. Similarly, Morgana spends 12 long years trying to change Undertow back to his former self and is no further along when we meet her again than on her first attempt. If I were him, I would’ve given up on her at that point and gone groveling to King Triton.

Additionally, the dialogue is anachronistic and much sloppier overall than in the first film. I notice that on imdb no one has bothered to list any memorable quotes from the film, most likely because there aren’t any. Many lines simply come across as corny and cliched, while others are cringe-worthy for their use of nineties dialogue. When Melody explained to Sebastian that she was “just kickin’ it,” a communal groan resounded throughout my living room. Such phrases continued to mar what was supposed to be a period film. I disapprove of compromised dialogue in the name of pandering to children. There’s also a lack of continuity. We’ve just celebrated Melody’s 12th birthday, but Ariel sympathizes to her, “I know how hard it is being a teenager.” Okay, so maybe she was just skipping a year, but still. And Melody, aghast when she learns of the secret her mother has hidden from her all this time, angrily asks her how she could do this to her. “You know how much I love the sea!” she shouts. How is Ariel supposed to know that when Melody has never told her? Earlier, Melody confided in Sebastian and Scuttle that she could never tell her mother about her love of the sea.

It’s interesting that this mediocre film managed to snag almost all the original voice cast. Even Max is played by the same person. Only Eric (Rob Paulsen), Grimsby (Kay E. Kuter) and Flounder are different. So that’s one bright spot, or is it a dim one? With a cast that proved so solid before, this film simply does not hold water. It’s a shame, because if they’d put more effort into the script – and the songs, which fail to be memorable – this could have been another classic.

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