"I'm Not Scared!"

Finally! I have been waiting for months for my little green buddy to show up on Epinions, and at last he is here, ready to be reviewed. My first exposure to Veggie Tales was the video from which this toy is taken. My sophomore theology teacher, a Catholic priest and all-around great guy, showed Where’s God When I’m Sca-a-ared as an example of how to take a story from the Bible and give it an entertaining new twist. I’ve been hooked ever since. In that video, Junior Asparagus watches a scary movie about Frankencelery and is unable to fall asleep. Seeing his distress, Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber drop from out of nowhere to bring the good tidings that Junior does not have to be afraid. Why, you may ask? Because, as Junior puts it when comprehension finally sets in, “God’s the biggest, and He’s on my team!”

I soon spread my love of Veggie Tales with my family, and while my youngest brother, Nathan, shares my general sentiments about the show, he does not share my affection for Junior. I fear that he finds his character to be slightly annoying. I, conversely, find him to be adorable, and my admiration is heightened by the fact that he, as one of the youngest members of the Veggie team, is often the most virtuous (Dave and the Giant Pickle, Josh and the Big Wall, Lyle the Kindly Viking...).

I was, not surprisingly, thrilled when I saw that Junior had been put into the form of one of that beloved childhood toy, the glow-worm. So it was that he emerged from a festively wrapped package at my twentieth birthday party. Ironically, I am given to understand that it was actually Nathan who twisted Mom’s arm to bring him home to me. Do I have a great brother, or what?

Junior Asparagus is a little fellow. He’s about the right size to tuck under your elbow. Not as big as a typical teddy bear, but my teddy bear probably is about as big in proportion to me as Junior would be in proportion to a toddler. His body is soft and made of light green fabric. About halfway up are his black felt mouth and plastic eyes and green nose. Above his eyes is his hair, which is a slightly darker green and looks like, well, a head of asparagus. Most of this is covered by his yellow nightcap, which is accented by a red pom-pom. The colors are bright but soft enough to lend a sleepy air to Junior.

His most endearing feature is his light-up eyes, accompanied by music. Squeeze him close, and his eyes will glow gently and he will announce, “I’m not scared!” before humming the tune of God is Bigger than the Boogeyman. This lasts only half a minute or so, but it can be very comforting. I took Junior with me when I went to Europe over the summer. I searched for him when I came home the evening of September 11th. Whenever I’m feeling especially unsettled, Junior serves up a quick reminder that I don’t need to be afraid.

Occasionally, he has produced the opposite effect. Junior cannot be switched off, so more than once I have woken myself up in the middle of the night by rolling over on him and causing him to break out in song. This is mildly startling, but far worse is when Junior’s batteries get jostled and his singing becomes either imperceptibly quiet, a series of strange sound effects, or a very slow, low rendition that sounds like some sort of malevolent un-dead creature. This has only happened to me a couple times, and each time the circumstance was easily corrected. Easy solution... Don’t let your brother throw him at you!

Junior takes three AAA batteries which last for a pretty decent amount of time. I don’t believe I have had to change his batteries since I got him in February. I would recommend Junior for anyone, young or old, who enjoys him on Veggie Tales. Glow-worm appreciators may also find themselves easily attached to him. He’s cute and comforting, and I as a college student am not ashamed to give him my highest recommendation.