Bert and Ernie's Greatest Hits Celebrates the Friendship of Sesame Street's Odd Couple

When I was little, I had a Bert and Ernie tape. I thought I remembered it being called E is for Ernie, but I haven’t been able to locate it since my copy disappeared years ago. But I was glad to find Bert and Ernie’s Greatest Hits, which contains most of the songs on that tape. A few are missing - the goofily theatrical George Washington Bridge and Ernie’s hilarious duet with Cookie Monster about breakfast come to mind right away - but the majority of them are here, along with several others that were new to me. Bert and Ernie sketches are often my favorite portion of Sesame Street, so this is a great collection for me and any other fans of the Street’s very own Odd Couple.

1. Rubber Duckie - Almost certainly Ernie’s most iconic song, this cheerful ode to his squeaky rubber duck has long been a favorite of mine and has cemented the yellow fellow’s role as the best of bathtime toys. These days, it’s not hard to find a rubber duck in just about any sort of dress imaginable. But it’s hard to beat the plain old original. Rubber Duckie, I’m aw-fully fond of you, too.

2. All Dressed Up - Bert shares this rather raucous song with the Anything People, who helpfully demonstrate the proper steps to getting dressed, as well as the improper steps. The visual that pops into my head with the gloves on the ears and the coat on the face is quite entertaining.

3. Dee, Dee, Dee - One of two songs on the album in which Ernie demonstrates his proficiency with letters. In this case, it’s the letter D, as in “don’t drop dishes down on the floor.” Fun.

4. Clink Clank - Bert goes all Stomp! on Ernie, turning an array of ordinary household objects into a homemade orchestra. Parents might not be crazy about this one, since Bert encourages children to find noisy objects and join in his concert. Then again, it’s nice to have something so interactive and great to see Bert so enthusiastic about something.

5. High, Middle, Low - A neat tutorial on harmony from Herbert Birdsfoot (the high part), Ernie (the middle part) and Bert (the low part). As someone who loves harmony, I get a kick out of this one, and it would be fun to try to pull it off with a couple of siblings.

6. Imagination - This one reminds me of the Charlie Brown strips in which they spend the afternoon cloud-gazing. It’s very mellow and relaxed, with tinkly music box accompaniment. I wasn’t that crazy about it when I was little even though it’s sung by Ernie, who’s my favorite character, because I found it rather dull, but now I like it much better. Though Ernie does all of the singing, several characters chime in to say what they’re imagining; we hear from Bert, naturally, along with Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Herbert Birdsfoot, Prairie Dawn and Grover.

7. La, La, La - Once again, Ernie has to help Bert out with using letters. This is a funny song that demonstrates the differences between Bert and Ernie’s personalities. Ernie is a little closed-minded in his interpretation of what constitutes a “lovely” L word, though; I, like Bert, think “linoleum” just rolls right off the tongue!

8. But I Like You - One of my favorite books as a kid was one entitled How Joe the Bear and Sam the Mouse Got Together. In this picture book belonging to my grandma, a bear and a mouse desperately want to be friends, but they don’t seem to have anything in common. Finally, at the end of the book, they find something they can share, and none of their differences bother them anymore. That’s the general gist of this song. Bert and Ernie are very different people. But even though Bert doesn’t like rubber ducks and Ernie doesn’t get excited about pigeons, they will always like each other.

9. Pat Pat Patty Pat - Bert leads this little game that is not initially very challenging, but soon his friends join in with suggestions and the Hokey Pokey-ish song quickly becomes exhausting. “Oh, listen to the song that‘s humming in your ear / and you‘ll have more fun than you‘ve had all year...” Ernie, Herbert Birdsfoot, Big Bird, Prairie Dawn, Grover and Oscar the Grouch join in.

10. Up Goes the Castle - Another interactive song, but this one is considerably more relaxing. Ernie instructs youngsters to lie down on the ground, which they may want to do after all the activity of the previous song. This gentle narrative about a castle on a stomach, backed by a lilting flute, is one of my favorite Ernie songs. “And you breathe in, up goes the castle, you breathe out, the castle goes down. / Breath in, high on a mountaintop, breathe out, low in the town.” It’s a lesson in basic biology as well as the value of compromise.

11. Doin' the Pigeon - Bert, who really loves pigeons, has invented a dance to reflect his passion. It’s nice to see him have the spotlight to himself, and his little side comments - “Hip!”, “Too much!” - are fun and endearingly retro. Bert’s singing style on this one is whiny to the point of grating, but it’s an amusing song, even though simply listening to it gives one very little idea of how to actually “do the pigeon.”

12. Lonesome Joan - There are several songs on this album I hadn’t heard before, but this is my hands-down favorite. Bert takes up the bass, Ernie the piano, and some unknown bandmate plays the fiddle on this cowboy song whose melody reminds me of Pecos Bill. Sweet, funny and educational, it demonstrates the importance of being willing to accept help from others when one is learning something new. It’s catchy, melodious and altogether delightful. “Oh, Lonesome Joan, Lonesome Joan, / You don’t have to do everything alone. / You can use a little help. Don’t have to do it by yourself. / / Oh, Lonesome, Lonesome Joan.”

13. I Don't Want to Live on the Moon - My favorite new-to-me song on the album is immediately followed by the one that’s been my favorite Sesame Street song for as long as I can remember. Both were written by Jeff Moss, who wrote a majority of the songs on this album, while Joe Raposo wrote most of the others. In this tender lullaby, backed by guitars, flute and sweeping violins, Ernie reflects upon all of the grand adventures he would love to have but concludes that home is the place he likes best. “So if I could visit the moon, I would dance on a moonbeam and then / I would make a wish on a star, and I’d wish I was home once again. / Though I’d love to look down at the earth from above, / I would miss all the places and people I love, / So although I may go, I’ll be coming home soon...” Gorgeous.

14. The National Association of "W" Lovers - Backed by a piano sounding very much like Prairie Dawn’s pounding accompaniment of many a disastrous school program, Bert croons out his love for the letter W, much to the appreciation of those who have gathered with him to celebrate the joys of that rather cumbersome letter. Bert is in his nerdy element. Without W... “A fine word like ‘waffle’ would turn out just ‘awful!’ Oh, W’s grand as can be!”

15. Dance Myself to Sleep - At first, this seems like it might be another gentle lullaby, but Ernie quickly defies that expectation. When he has trouble falling asleep, instead of reading a book or listening to some relaxing music, he dances himself to sleep - tap-dancing to the accompaniment of brass instruments while a herd of sheep come in and dance poor Bert right out the door. The funniest song on the album, it’s a great way to end the album, as long as you’re not using it to help you off to dreamland; somehow I doubt Ernie’s strategy would work for too many folks. “I gently rock-a-bye myself across the floor. / I turn and then I toss and then I start to snore. / My trusty little bugle helps me spread the news / That I’m tapping to ‘Taps’ and I’m a-raring to snooze!”

Jim Henson’s warmth and humor, not to mention his musical talent, shine through on every song Ernie sings, while Frank Oz is excellent as always as Bert and occasionally Grover. We also hear Fran Brill as Prairie Dawn, Caroll Spinney as Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch and Jerry Nelson as Herbert Birdsfoot, a character from the early seasons who I don‘t really remember but who seems like a great pal to the rest of the gang. It’s a wonderful assembly of several beloved Sesame Street characters that celebrates the bond between the best of friends, a bond that holds fast even as they drive each other crazy.

It's a Giant Man-Eating Plant; What's Not to Love?

Plenty, I would say. But my brother would be inclined to disagree. While he admits that he doesn't like the mouth on that man-eating plant, he loves its physical appearance. Frank Oz of muppet fame has once again created a winning creature in the eyes of my brother, who has always had a certain fondness for carnivorous plants. I have no doubt that Nathan will soon be slaving away to create his own replica of Audrey II. He's hooked, and he has made it clear that I am obligated to be kind to Little Shop of Horrors should I choose to review it. So, setting aside my inclination to wrinkle my nose, I will comply with his demand. Maybe -- just maybe -- this movie is worth the four stars I will give it. But I must admit that I lack the strength of conviction.

The story revolves around Seymour, an accident-prone, gold-hearted nerd played endearingly by Rick Moranis. I love his character here as much as I love his character in every movie I've ever seen him in. He's just adorable. Here he is cast as a poor man working on Skid Row in a florist's shop. When a plant he is caring for begins to take on a very abnormal appearance, business picks up for the store which has been recently devoid of customers. Seymour is an instant celebrity, but only he knows the dark secret behind the plant's success.

Audrey, played by Ellen Greene, is the object of Seymour's affection. I find her to be easily the most annoying human character in the film. She looks like a Barbie doll, very unrealistically proportioned, and talks with a mousy New York accent. She may be a very nice person, but she's such an airhead that she gives me a headache whenever she speaks. Directly contrasting her is her sadistic boyfriend Orin, magnificently played by Steve Martin (with black hair!). A motorcycle-driving dentist with an Elvis complex, he gets his jollies by inflicting pain on people. He is utterly despicable, but at least it's fun to watch him. His one show-stopping number Be a Dentist easily beats out Audrey's crooning tunes.

The movie is a definite musical, with probably more words sung than spoken. It has a definite Mo-town flavor to it; Audrey II, Seymour's wonder-plant, is voiced by a member of the Four Tops. The lyrics are pretty clever and the action surrounding the songs is generally pretty entertaining, but most of the actors have mediocre singing voices. Since the whole film has a pretty cheesy feel to it, their so-so singing fits right in.

Audrey II is my other least favorite character. It is rude and vulgar, just plain obnoxious, and of course there's the small matter of its feeding on human blood. I guess that I found Orin hilarious so I liked the character even though I hated him. I really didn't find much humor in Audrey II at all.

There's some nice cameos here that provide extra laughs. Jim Belushi makes a very brief appearance as a man seeking to market the Audrey II. John Candy plays a loony disc jockey, and Bill Murray portrays a masochistic businessman who is kicked out of Orin's office because he is enjoying the torture the dentist is inflicting upon him.

There are quite a few laughs to be had from this film, but a lot of the humor is dark or perverted or simply corny. The movie finds a happy ending finally, but it's a Goosebumps happy ending. In that show, every episode resolves itself happily until the minute and a half after the commercial break and before the credits. Then they throw in a twist that messes everything up. Henry's Awful Mistake, one of my favorite children's books, wherein an unwanted houseguest who causes the destruction of Henry the duck's house moves into his new house with him, employs a similar tactic. The irony in the movie is a little too morbid for my tastes.

Go ahead and rent this movie. If you've got pre-teen boys in your house, they'll probably love it. Otherwise, milk it for all the chuckles it can give you and then return it promptly to the video store.