Osmosis Jones Can't Decide What Its Audience Is

Over the past few decades, Bill Murray has played a lot of schlubby fellas, but never have I seen him less attractive than in Osmosis Jones, the 2001 Farrelly Brothers movie about the quest of a white blood cell and a cold pill to defeat the virus ravaging Frank, the grungy guy in whom they reside.

Murray portrays Frank, a zookeeper and widower with astonishingly poor eating habits and hygiene. His young daughter Shane (Elena Franklin) is alarmed about both, but her concerns fall upon deaf ears, and after an especially disgusting scene involving an ill-advised implementation of the 10-second rule, he pays the price for his lack of standards as to what he puts into his mouth. A malevolent virus makes its way into his system, and the micro-organisms inside of him must work overtime to counteract the damage.

This is an odd movie because it seems geared toward two different audiences. The live-action portion is stilted and absurdly over-the-top, with all the finesse of a film created for the express purpose of encouraging elementary school students to eat their veggies and wash their hands before dinner. Pouty Shane tries not to condescend too much, but she still comes across as an insufferable know-it-all; she may be just a tween, but she seems to spend her life lecturing her father. Then again, his immaturity level is off the charts. His gross-out antics may amuse a certain subset of youngsters, but most adults are likely to find these scenes tedious and B-movie-ish.

While the live-action portion is clearly aimed at a young audience, the animated part is slick-looking, filled with familiar voice talent and hip commentary on contemporary culture. Health lessons abound here as well, but they are much more technical, and the writing in general is far more sophisticated. There’s also some innuendo, and several moments involving uber-villain The Red Death (Laurence Fishburne) are quite terrifying, so not only will a lot of the animated stuff go over the heads of kids, some of it is pretty inappropriate.

The most enjoyable elements of the film are the maneuvers of the campy mayor of Frank’s body, voiced by William Shatner, and the friendship that develops between loose cannon cop Osmosis (Chris Rock) and distinguished but heroic cold pill Drix (David Hyde Pierce). These two characters initially clash, but they bond as they become two of the only organisms in the body who understand what they are truly up against with this virus. Frasier turned me into an ardent fan of Pierce, and as always, his voice work is fantastic here. Rock is almost a little too spastic for my tastes, but he’s likable nonetheless.

Osmosis Jones is a mixed bag of a movie that is worth a watch, but most people will probably find at least one part of the movie frustrating. Parents of kids under twelve should be aware of the adult themes in the animated portion, while adults in general should know that the live segments are very juvenile indeed. Still, the movie’s message about the importance of a healthy diet and proper cleanliness, heavy-handed as it may be, is a worthwhile one, and Drix and Osmosis make an entertaining and visually appealing team.

It's Not For Kids, But The Heartbreak Kid Delivers Laughs

I'm not a big fan of raunchy comedies, but when my friend informed me of an opportunity to catch a free preview of The Heartbreak Kid this week, I wasn't about to pass up the chance, especially since free food was also involved. Besides, I always enjoy Ben Stiller, if not necessarily the movies in which he finds himself, and I haven't caught a movie at the cinema in more than a month, so my reviewing fingers were getting itchy. At least,, I thought, if the movie is awful, I can write a merciless review. It's been a while since I've had an excuse to be scathing. Alas for me; I'll have to get my Simon Cowell practice elsewhere. Maybe I've built up an unlikely immunity to R-rated shenanigans, but I found The Heartbreak Kid to be considerably less crude than I expected, especially given the previews warning that this would make The 40-Year-Old Virgin look like a kiddie flick. With warm and fuzzy Freaks and Geeks genius Judd Apatow at the helm, that film did have more heart, but thanks largely to Stiller's likable performance, I found this Farrelly Brothers comedy pretty enjoyable.

Reprising his unassuming schmuck shtick, Stiller stars as Eddie Cantrow, the 40-year-old owner of a sporting goods store in San Francisco. Much to the chagrin of his swinging bachelor father (an irascible Jerry Stiller), Eddie doesn't have much of a love life. Every time he gets close enough to a woman to consider marriage, he backs off; as the film opens, we see him abashedly seated at the otherwise kids-only "singles' table" at the wedding reception of his jilted former fiancee, who cruelly skewers him in a toast. It might all be a bit too much to take if it weren't for a chance meeting with Lila (Malin Akerman), a blonde beauty whom he attempts to rescue from a mugging. Their relationship progresses quickly after the initial spark, and only weeks later, faced with a sudden ultimatum from Lila and bowing to pressure from his dad and faux-happily married best friend Mac (Rob Corddry), Eddie takes the plunge into marriage. Though his cautious nature renders him very nervous about such a commitment, Lila and he have such an ideal connection, how could he possibly go wrong?

How, indeed... The bulk of the movie takes place in Mexico at a resort where Eddie and Lila decide to spend their honeymoon. Eddie generally plays the straight man to his increasingly psychotic wife, whose hijinks are comically uncomfortable. Turns out there's quite a lot Eddie didn't learn about her in a month and a half of dating. From her undisclosed biological condition and a startling revelation about her career to her sadistic streak and lack of common sense, Lila is just full of nasty surprises. But falling out of love with his wife on their honeymoon is only half the problem. Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), who he meets shortly after arriving at the resort, is the other half. Propelled by a series of unfortunate misunderstandings, Eddie finds himself dating the affable Miranda while a sulky, sunburned Lila stays behind in the hotel room, oblivious. How long can he keep the charade going? And when the truth comes out, does he have any real shot at happiness, since his experience with Lila managed to confirm everything he ever feared about marriage?

Though Eddie does take a wrong turn here and there, he does, for the most part, come across as a genuinely decent guy despite the fact that he is courting another woman on his own honeymoon. Miranda is spunky and engaging, while Lila makes a complete turn-around from girl next door to nutcase. The Stiller father-son dynamic is a nice touch; there's definitely a gruff affection there, even with the elder's constant stream of crass remarks. Meanwhile, cynical Mac is a hoot, particularly when associating with his shrewish wife, calls from whom are announced with a Wicked Witch of the West ring tone on his cell phone. Among the smaller but memorable side roles are Uncle Tito (Carlos Mencia), the jovial, perverted proprietor of the resort, and a pair of twins (Michael and Nicholas Kromka) who plague Eddie throughout the film.

When I saw Shallow Hal, also by the Farrelly Brothers, I was pleasantly surprised at how sweet it was and how it espoused the positive message of loving a person for who they are rather than what they look like. If there's a moral to this movie, it seems to be Don't get married. Or at least Don't rush into marriage. Make sure you really know each other before you take that plunge. That's a worthwhile consideration, and certainly I wouldn't advise marriage after six weeks in too many circumstances. But The Heartbreak Kid goes beyond that helpful pointer to undercut the institution itself, which hardly comes as a shock in an age of so many broken marriages, but there's something depressing about the fact that the only happily married couple we meet in the movie have been married for 40 years. Do the up-and-comers have a shot at blissful matrimony? Walking out of the theater, I wasn't so sure.

While the movie isn't a constant barrage of crudeness, there's profanity and coarse language aplenty, along with a couple of cringe-inducing bedroom scenes. The funniest moments for me were those that do not rely on gross-out humor: Eddie's juvenile dinner companions at the wedding quizzing him on why he's single, Lila singing at the top of her lungs along with the radio for hours in the car, Miranda's relatives laughing too uproariously at a comment Eddie makes. As long as you don't come to The Heartbreak Kid expecting an attack of the warm fuzzies, chances are you won't leave heartbroken over having wasted an evening on a worthless movie.