Back in 2005, a friend of my brother's presented him with a Christmas
gift wrapped up with an apology. "This movie is terrible," he informed
him. But he gave it to him anyway. Living in dread, I suppose, of such a
wretched movie, Nathan never bothered to watch it. But now that I
dipped my toe in first, I may just have to force him to take he plunge
next time he's around. Because Kronk's New Groove really wasn't such a bad movie...
I'm probably more forgiving than I should be. But I was expecting a lot
worse than what I got in this Disney cheapquel whose title character is
my favorite aspect of the animated feature The Emperor's New Groove.
Voiced by Patrick Warburton, Kronk is a burly dolt with a gentle soul
who winds up the henchman of evil Yzma (Eartha Kitt) but is most content
to spend his days cooking and passing on his knowledge of squirrel
speech.
In Kronk's New Groove, he's living out his
dream, but he's convinced that's not good enough for his father (John
Mahoney), who has written to inform him of his impending visit. Kronk
pulls out a wallet full of photos demonstrating his father's lack of
empathy; we're treated to shots of "The Cold Shoulder, the Frenzied
Eyebrow, the Grimace of Doom, the Sneer of Despair, the Crippling Wince
of Guilt, the Scowl of Impending Wrath, and worst of all, the Nostril
Flare of Total Rejection."
Wailing about his unresolved daddy
issues and revealing the unfortunate events that followed his separation
from Yzma - most significantly, losing his girlfriend as a result of a
misunderstanding and letting Yzma trick him into swindling his beloved
old folks' home residents out of their remaining money - Kronk hatches a
desperate plot to fool his father into thinking he has the beautiful
family and the house on the hill that would make him see Kronk as a
success.
One of Kronk's elderly friends is a fellow by the
name of Rudy. The feisty fellow makes for a fun character, but the role
is notable mainly because it is the final film of John Fiedler, the
voice of Piglet for decades, along with many other characters. Tracey
Ullman puts in an appearance as Kronk's love interest, fellow camp
counselor Ms Birdwell, but I didn't find the role too memorable; in
fact, I couldn't connect with that whole sub-plot at all.
There's a lot of slapstick, a lot of rapid-fire comedy that will set
well with Saturday morning cartoon fans. It's certainly not brilliant
movie-making; the plot is generally silly and sometimes convoluted.
Though it was only about 70 minutes long, I nodded off a couple times.
Still, I liked most of what I saw. Kronk is such a lovable lug, and my
fondness for John Mahoney elevated my enjoyment as well.
There's nothing award-winning about Kronk's New Groove. But that includes the Razzies.
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