This Christmas was a little different for our family. That’s because,
for the first time, my brother Benjamin was unable to make it home. We
were still together on Christmas, after a fashion, because we spent an
hour on the phone with him before opening our presents. But he was in
Sasebo, Japan, and we were in Pennsylvania, and next year is likely to
bring the same scenario, only by then he will have moved to Okinawa,
best known to me as the home of Mr. Miyagi. So when I was flipping
through the channels at my grandparents’ the other night and came upon
the very beginning of The Karate Kid, Part III, that seemed like a perfect way to keep a little Benjamin in our Christmas travels.
I love the Karate Kid movies, mostly because of Pat Morita’s wonderful
portrayal of the wise, funny Mr. Miyagi, who serves as such a valuable
mentor to displaced, hot-headed Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio). In the
first film, Miyagi teaches Daniel the value of patience and hard work as
he slowly instructs him in the art of karate, which gives him a passion
into which he can pour all of his energy, not to mention a way of
standing up to bullies. The Karate Kid is a Rocky-like story of a plucky underdog triumphing through perseverance. The Karate Kid II,
my favorite of the trilogy, is more focused on Miyagi himself, who must
face an old feud as he returns home to care for his ailing father. In
the process, he imparts valuable lessons about mercy and forgiveness.
The Karate Kid III
is not as compelling as either of its predecessors. In many ways it
feels like a rehash of the first movie, except that Daniel is not longer
a fish out of water, so his amplified angst is harder to deal with.
Daniel makes several stupid decisions in this movie, some of them with
good intentions, some motivated by pride. He is often a frustrating
character. Having moved in with Mr. Miyagi, he’s decided to pass on
college, at least for a while, in order to help his housemate open a
bonsai shop. This is a noble gesture, but he fails to consult Miyagi on
every major decision along the way, leading to some tiresome
consequences.
I also found myself a little frustrated with
Miyagi at times because he is so adamant that Daniel not return to the
tournament to defend his title. I understand his reasoning, and I
certainly don’t think Daniel’s head needs to get any bigger, but when
it’s clear that not entering the tournament is going to cause major
problems, I would think he might relent a little. Eventually he does,
but not before the bullies harassing Daniel have made a real mess of
things, ransacking Miyagi’s shop and splintering his relationship with
Daniel.
There’s a lot of negative emotion in this movie, and
for not a lot of grand purpose. The driving force behind the plot is
John Reese (Martin Kove), the explosive dojo leader who trained Daniel’s
opponent in the first tournament. Daniel’s victory and John’s
subsequent meltdown ruined him, and now he’s out for blood. With a
little help from his buddy Terry (Thomas Ian Griffith), he’s going to
get it. Terry, introducing himself to Daniel with a sob story about
John’s death, wriggles his way into the teen’s confidences, eventually
convincing him to let him serve as his trainer for the tournament. It’s a
subversive game, and by the time Daniel realizes what’s going on, he’s
in too deep to easily extract himself. Griffith makes an interesting
villain, much cleverer than the brutish John, who is nonetheless more
entertaining to watch. At this point, the man who seemed so threatening
in the first movie just comes across as pathetic, and his over-the-top
outbursts pose little genuine threat.
Karate Kid III is
the campiest of the trilogy and the least charming. It’s a movie that
doesn’t have a lot of reason to exist, except that trilogies seemed to
be the big thing in the '80s (and we know this is the 1980s because
Daniel feels the need to remind us of this fact in every installment).
Because Mr. Miyagi is so consistently wonderful, it’s still a thoroughly
watchable film, but from Daniel’s love interest, a considerate potter
named Jessica (Robyn Lively), to the challenges facing him, it all just
feels like old territory with more angst. If you’ve seen the first two
films, by all means check out the third, but don’t expect the conclusion
of the trilogy to quite measure up to its beginning and middle.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sherlock Snoopy and Watson Woodstock Are Ready to Solve a Mystery
I’m a movie buff, and as a result, the December crop of movies has me a
bit stressed out. How, oh how, am I going to make it to the theater for The Princess and the Frog, The Lovely Bones, Avatar and Sherlock Holmes?
I may have to wait for Netflix, but at least with the last one, I have
Snoopy to help tide me over. That’s because several years ago, while
browsing around in a local thrift shop, we found The Detective, the
third ornament in the Spotlight on Snoopy series. It’s always a bit of a
chore to locate this ornament come Christmastime, since it came
packaged in the box of an entirely different ornament, something to do
with giving a gold star to a worthy teacher. But that makes its arrival
all the more welcome once we do find it.
Like the other Spotlight on Snoopy ornaments, this Snoopy is fairly small at just over two inches high. From the back of his head to the front of his nose, there is about an inch and a quarter, and that is the thickest point of the ornament. Snoopy stands flat on his two white feet, and Woodstock, on his tiny yellow feet, stands flat as well. Leaning up against Snoopy, Woodstock is dressed in drab black. He seems to be holding a legal pad, perusing notes pertaining to the case at hand. On his head is a jaunty derby.
Snoopy, meanwhile, is garbed all in red augmented with green and yellow stripes that intersect and go both horizontally and vertically. From the colors to his oddly-shaped hat to the magnifying glass he holds in the hand that stretches out from underneath his cloak, it’s clear that Snoopy is emulating Sherlock Holmes, making Woodstock Watson. The two are a perfect pair. Clearly visible is Snoopy’s entire head, with his squinty eyes, round nose and black ears; the rest of him, aside from the hand and two feet, is obscured by the clothing.
I don’t recall seeing Snoopy play Sherlock at any point in the comic strip, but given the beagle’s fondness for literature, it’s no surprise to see him portray such an iconic fictional figure, and bringing Woodstock along for the ride is simply the friendly thing to do. Besides, where would Sherlock be without his trusty assistant? This is a very cute little ornament that could easily stay out all year long, though we always put it away for the year. It could rest on a shelf or piano with no trouble, but we always hang this one on the tree; the hook goes atop his hat, and he dangles quite nicely from the branch at hand.
We’re big Snoopy fans around here, so it’s something of a surprise to me that we don’t have more of the ornaments in this series, but I’m glad we picked this one up, even if he did come in the wrong box. After all, a little bit of mystery is particularly fitting for this super sleuth and his dedicated assistant.
Like the other Spotlight on Snoopy ornaments, this Snoopy is fairly small at just over two inches high. From the back of his head to the front of his nose, there is about an inch and a quarter, and that is the thickest point of the ornament. Snoopy stands flat on his two white feet, and Woodstock, on his tiny yellow feet, stands flat as well. Leaning up against Snoopy, Woodstock is dressed in drab black. He seems to be holding a legal pad, perusing notes pertaining to the case at hand. On his head is a jaunty derby.
Snoopy, meanwhile, is garbed all in red augmented with green and yellow stripes that intersect and go both horizontally and vertically. From the colors to his oddly-shaped hat to the magnifying glass he holds in the hand that stretches out from underneath his cloak, it’s clear that Snoopy is emulating Sherlock Holmes, making Woodstock Watson. The two are a perfect pair. Clearly visible is Snoopy’s entire head, with his squinty eyes, round nose and black ears; the rest of him, aside from the hand and two feet, is obscured by the clothing.
I don’t recall seeing Snoopy play Sherlock at any point in the comic strip, but given the beagle’s fondness for literature, it’s no surprise to see him portray such an iconic fictional figure, and bringing Woodstock along for the ride is simply the friendly thing to do. Besides, where would Sherlock be without his trusty assistant? This is a very cute little ornament that could easily stay out all year long, though we always put it away for the year. It could rest on a shelf or piano with no trouble, but we always hang this one on the tree; the hook goes atop his hat, and he dangles quite nicely from the branch at hand.
We’re big Snoopy fans around here, so it’s something of a surprise to me that we don’t have more of the ornaments in this series, but I’m glad we picked this one up, even if he did come in the wrong box. After all, a little bit of mystery is particularly fitting for this super sleuth and his dedicated assistant.
Hallmark's Spaceman Snoopy Celebrates the Beagle's Relationship With NASA
NASA has been a passion of my dad’s all his life, and everybody in my
family loves Snoopy, so when I spotted 2007’s Spaceman Snoopy ornament,
the tenth in Hallmark’s Spotlight on Snoopy series, I couldn’t resist
buying it for him. Shortly thereafter, Hallmark released a plush Snoopy
in astronaut gear, which I also bought for Dad. I’ve gotten him a couple
of Flying Ace figures over the years, and it seemed to me a natural
progression from fighter pilot to astronaut.
Within the strip itself, there have been a few references to space exploration in association with Snoopy, and outside of the strip, he has a long history with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Though the ornament doesn’t specifically indicate this, I’m guessing that it may have been timed to coincide with the 40th anniversary of Apollo 1, the module that was destroyed in a fire in January of 1967 before it could be launched. Following this disaster, which killed three astronauts, Snoopy became the official mascot of Apollo, with several Astrobeagle tie-in products introduced with his image, which was used to promote aerospace safety and the rebuilding of the program.
A statue of him in astronaut gear stands at the Kennedy Space Center. Snoopy was the nickname of the Apollo 10 lunar module; the command module was nicknamed Charlie Brown. The Silver Snoopy Award is a special commendation given to NASA employees by astronauts; to date, there have been more than 12,000 recipients, all of whom have received a sterling silver pin in Snoopy’s likeness designed by Charles Schulz. Clearly, Snoopy and space go together well.
In this ornament, Snoopy is all dressed up in a NASA spacesuit. The only part of his body that is not obscured by his heavy clothing is his face, which can be seen through the clear space helmet. Though his ears are hidden, his squinty eyes peek out, and his round nose is clearly visible. It’s a detailed, attractive suit, and Snoopy looks very official in it. One gloved hand holds a silver pole, at the top of which is the American flag. He stands just over two inches tall, and the rocky landscape on which he is located is nearly two inches long.
It looks as though Snoopy has made it to Mars, judging by the brownish color of the ground, and sitting calmly in a crater is a friendly-looking Woodstock with green antennae. The two seem perfectly comfortable in one another’s company. The ornament stands flat extremely well, and it would make a perfect addition to the office of a NASA enthusiast year-round. But it also hangs on the tree easily, tilting just a little bit as it dangles.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a Snoopy ornament I didn’t like, but considering Snoopy’s importance to the space program, I find this one especially cool. Snoopy has won over fans all around the world; why not expand his reach into outer space as well?
Within the strip itself, there have been a few references to space exploration in association with Snoopy, and outside of the strip, he has a long history with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. Though the ornament doesn’t specifically indicate this, I’m guessing that it may have been timed to coincide with the 40th anniversary of Apollo 1, the module that was destroyed in a fire in January of 1967 before it could be launched. Following this disaster, which killed three astronauts, Snoopy became the official mascot of Apollo, with several Astrobeagle tie-in products introduced with his image, which was used to promote aerospace safety and the rebuilding of the program.
A statue of him in astronaut gear stands at the Kennedy Space Center. Snoopy was the nickname of the Apollo 10 lunar module; the command module was nicknamed Charlie Brown. The Silver Snoopy Award is a special commendation given to NASA employees by astronauts; to date, there have been more than 12,000 recipients, all of whom have received a sterling silver pin in Snoopy’s likeness designed by Charles Schulz. Clearly, Snoopy and space go together well.
In this ornament, Snoopy is all dressed up in a NASA spacesuit. The only part of his body that is not obscured by his heavy clothing is his face, which can be seen through the clear space helmet. Though his ears are hidden, his squinty eyes peek out, and his round nose is clearly visible. It’s a detailed, attractive suit, and Snoopy looks very official in it. One gloved hand holds a silver pole, at the top of which is the American flag. He stands just over two inches tall, and the rocky landscape on which he is located is nearly two inches long.
It looks as though Snoopy has made it to Mars, judging by the brownish color of the ground, and sitting calmly in a crater is a friendly-looking Woodstock with green antennae. The two seem perfectly comfortable in one another’s company. The ornament stands flat extremely well, and it would make a perfect addition to the office of a NASA enthusiast year-round. But it also hangs on the tree easily, tilting just a little bit as it dangles.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a Snoopy ornament I didn’t like, but considering Snoopy’s importance to the space program, I find this one especially cool. Snoopy has won over fans all around the world; why not expand his reach into outer space as well?
Do You Want Mr. Bill Hanging Around Your House At Christmas? Ohhhhhh Noooooo!
Several years ago, my brother Nathan became obsessed with Mr. Bill, the cringe-inducing claymated Saturday Night Live
character with a high voice and a tendency to undergo oodles of mishaps
thanks to his “friend” Mr. Hands and the villainous Sluggo. He and his
yellow dog Spot somehow manage to start off each new episode in one
piece, but they’re never in good shape by the end.
Mr. Bill Reads a Christmas Postcard is a 2004 ornament produced by Carlton Cards. Of course, it found its way into Nathan’s stocking, and it’s hung on our tree every year since. The ornament features a hard plastic chair, green on top and red on the bottom, upon which Mr. Bill and Spot rest. From the bottom of the chair to the top of Mr. Bill’s head, it’s about five inches. The bottom of the chair is about two by two and a half inches. This makes for a rather large ornament that requires a strong branch to support it, unless you just want to stand him up on a shelf or table, which isn’t a bad idea since otherwise the postcard Mr. Bill holds is likely to become lost, as ours has.
The chair is made of hard plastic, and Spot of less-hard plastic that is slightly pliable. For some reason, not only are his feet molded to the chair, his tail is as well. He’s a golden color, and he stands with his mouth open and red tongue hanging out. He has no distinguishable nose, but his eyes are large black circles covered with glitter. Bill, next to him, is of much softer material meant to approximate the feel of clay. He is entirely squeezable, so you can manipulate him into a number of odd positions if you are so inclined.
Spot, who is standing, is about an inch and a half tall and two inches long, while Bill, who is seated, stands about three and a half inches tall and is a couple of inches long where his legs stick out. He has bright yellow shoes, belt, buttons and hair; white hands and face; blue pants; the same sparkly eyes as Spot; and a red shirt, nose and mouth frozen open in a wide “O” - the better for screaming “Ohhhhhh noooooo!” with.
Mr. Bill is an interactive figure that does not require hook-up into a Christmas light. Instead, you just put the three cell batteries in, and all you need to do is push down on the striped green portion of the chair. Do that, and you’ll get to hear Mr. Bill utter one of three possible screechy phrases: “Oh no, he’s gonna be mean to me!”, “Now, you leave me alone! Please don’t do that - ooooohhhhh!” and “No, you be careful there! Oh - now wait - ooooooh nooooo!!!!” Illuminating? Hardly. Annoying? You bet.
If you love Mr. Bill as much as Nathan does, then this rather morbid ornament is probably a good choice. But if you haven’t yet had the dubious pleasure of getting acquainted with this Play-doh travesty, you’re probably better off remaining strangers.
Mr. Bill Reads a Christmas Postcard is a 2004 ornament produced by Carlton Cards. Of course, it found its way into Nathan’s stocking, and it’s hung on our tree every year since. The ornament features a hard plastic chair, green on top and red on the bottom, upon which Mr. Bill and Spot rest. From the bottom of the chair to the top of Mr. Bill’s head, it’s about five inches. The bottom of the chair is about two by two and a half inches. This makes for a rather large ornament that requires a strong branch to support it, unless you just want to stand him up on a shelf or table, which isn’t a bad idea since otherwise the postcard Mr. Bill holds is likely to become lost, as ours has.
The chair is made of hard plastic, and Spot of less-hard plastic that is slightly pliable. For some reason, not only are his feet molded to the chair, his tail is as well. He’s a golden color, and he stands with his mouth open and red tongue hanging out. He has no distinguishable nose, but his eyes are large black circles covered with glitter. Bill, next to him, is of much softer material meant to approximate the feel of clay. He is entirely squeezable, so you can manipulate him into a number of odd positions if you are so inclined.
Spot, who is standing, is about an inch and a half tall and two inches long, while Bill, who is seated, stands about three and a half inches tall and is a couple of inches long where his legs stick out. He has bright yellow shoes, belt, buttons and hair; white hands and face; blue pants; the same sparkly eyes as Spot; and a red shirt, nose and mouth frozen open in a wide “O” - the better for screaming “Ohhhhhh noooooo!” with.
Mr. Bill is an interactive figure that does not require hook-up into a Christmas light. Instead, you just put the three cell batteries in, and all you need to do is push down on the striped green portion of the chair. Do that, and you’ll get to hear Mr. Bill utter one of three possible screechy phrases: “Oh no, he’s gonna be mean to me!”, “Now, you leave me alone! Please don’t do that - ooooohhhhh!” and “No, you be careful there! Oh - now wait - ooooooh nooooo!!!!” Illuminating? Hardly. Annoying? You bet.
If you love Mr. Bill as much as Nathan does, then this rather morbid ornament is probably a good choice. But if you haven’t yet had the dubious pleasure of getting acquainted with this Play-doh travesty, you’re probably better off remaining strangers.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Gandalf the Grey Could Be a Father Christmas Stand-In
For three years, my Christmases were inextricably linked with Lord of the Rings.
The movies came out late in December, about a week before Christmas,
and because everything was so hectic and the five of us wanted to see it
together, the latest installment in the Peter Jackson adaptation of my
favorite book became my big thing to look forward to in the immediate
aftermath of the holiday. Then, too, there were the deluxe DVDs that
made their way under my tree, as well as some lovely tie-in products.
Burger King especially kept me hopping in 2001 when it came out with
four light-up goblets and an extensive array of figures with talking
bases that formed a circle around a base featuring the Ring. I managed
very poorly with collecting those; one of these days, eBay will help me
correct that frustration.
While the three Christmases coinciding with the films’ release were the most Tolkienish, various companies have seen to it that a plethora of Lord of the Rings products remain available after the fact. Working at a calendar kiosk, I’ve seen all sorts of attractive calendars come through; this year, I’m intrigued by one that tells the story of Fellowship of the Ring from beginning to end, taking us through the year in the process. Meanwhile, I’ve seen some pretty fun figures grace the toy stores. And of course, Hallmark couldn’t resist such a juicy commodity, so a few famous Middle-earth residents have become available for relocation to waiting Christmas trees.
In 2005, Gandalf the Grey found his way into our house. Most of our Hallmark boxes are marked with the recipient and the date, but a name is curiously absent from this one, which leads me to suspect that I was the gift giver rather than the recipient in this case. So the ornament belongs to either Dad or me, and as long as we share a living room it doesn’t make much difference. He comes in a festive burgundy box, the back of which provides, in one lengthy sentence, an explanation of Gandalf’s importance in The Lord of the Rings. Included is a Memory Card, which shows a picture of the ornament on the front and space to write about the ornament, as well as who gave and received it, on the back. Obviously this is a feature we failed to take advantage of, but it’s a nice idea, and I’m not sure why only some Hallmark ornaments have them. Or maybe it’s simply a new inclusion, and all of them do nowadays. Anyway, I think it’s a cool little addition.
Gandalf has three distinct personalities in Jackson’s films. In The Two Towers, he is transcendent and distant. Having recently been resurrected, he barely seems to connect with his own identity. “Gandalf... Yes, they used to call me that...” he muses at one point when his astonished friends identify him. Garbed in dazzling white and immaculately groomed, he seems more angel than man. In Return of the King, there is still much of this, but the wizard has had ample time to adjust now, and some of his old personality returns, particularly in his disgruntled confrontations with impetuous Pippin Took.
I love Gandalf in all his forms. But Fellowship Gandalf is definitely my favorite. Stooped and disheveled, affectionate and grumbly, he seems much more human in the first film, making him all the more approachable, all the easier to love. This ornament captures him perfectly. Tall and majestic at about five inches in height, he stands with his arms bent and his feet all but invisible under the many folds of his thundery grey cloaks. The ornament is only him, with no base, but the bottom of his robe is a flat base in itself, about an inch and a half by an inch and three quarters, with just the tip of his brown left shoe peeking out.
Of course, Gandalf the Grey comes complete with a full, scraggly beard, the color of which is slightly lighter than his robes. There’s a slight sadness about his face, with its craggy lines and small mouth that is nearly swallowed up by his beard and mustache. His eyes gaze out from underneath bushy eyebrows, and overshadowing it all is his iconic hat, with its wide brim and long, pointy top. Turn him around, and you’ll see his hair trailing into his hood, which hangs down, unused.
Almost all of his other features are obscured by his well-weathered clothing, but both of his hands are visible. The right one cradles a long, thin brown pipe, while he clutches his brown staff in his left hand. While there is nothing specifically Christmassy about him, he looks to me like he has just turned up at Bilbo’s door for a friendly visit, and if Christmas existed in Middle-earth, this is exactly how I would expect to find him when paying a holiday call. One might even imagine that the brown satchel slung across his waist contains gifts. Take it a step further, and Gandalf could easily pose as Father Christmas.
At the same time, because this is just the wizard exactly as he appears in the movie, one could easily leave him up year-round, setting him on a shelf or desk someplace where he can overlook the room. I haven’t done so in the past, but looking at him now I wonder whether I ought to start. It might be a bit late to order him now in time for Christmas, but of all the ornaments I can think of, Gandalf may be the one who would be most suitable as a gift any time of the year. After all... “A wizard is never late... nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
While the three Christmases coinciding with the films’ release were the most Tolkienish, various companies have seen to it that a plethora of Lord of the Rings products remain available after the fact. Working at a calendar kiosk, I’ve seen all sorts of attractive calendars come through; this year, I’m intrigued by one that tells the story of Fellowship of the Ring from beginning to end, taking us through the year in the process. Meanwhile, I’ve seen some pretty fun figures grace the toy stores. And of course, Hallmark couldn’t resist such a juicy commodity, so a few famous Middle-earth residents have become available for relocation to waiting Christmas trees.
In 2005, Gandalf the Grey found his way into our house. Most of our Hallmark boxes are marked with the recipient and the date, but a name is curiously absent from this one, which leads me to suspect that I was the gift giver rather than the recipient in this case. So the ornament belongs to either Dad or me, and as long as we share a living room it doesn’t make much difference. He comes in a festive burgundy box, the back of which provides, in one lengthy sentence, an explanation of Gandalf’s importance in The Lord of the Rings. Included is a Memory Card, which shows a picture of the ornament on the front and space to write about the ornament, as well as who gave and received it, on the back. Obviously this is a feature we failed to take advantage of, but it’s a nice idea, and I’m not sure why only some Hallmark ornaments have them. Or maybe it’s simply a new inclusion, and all of them do nowadays. Anyway, I think it’s a cool little addition.
Gandalf has three distinct personalities in Jackson’s films. In The Two Towers, he is transcendent and distant. Having recently been resurrected, he barely seems to connect with his own identity. “Gandalf... Yes, they used to call me that...” he muses at one point when his astonished friends identify him. Garbed in dazzling white and immaculately groomed, he seems more angel than man. In Return of the King, there is still much of this, but the wizard has had ample time to adjust now, and some of his old personality returns, particularly in his disgruntled confrontations with impetuous Pippin Took.
I love Gandalf in all his forms. But Fellowship Gandalf is definitely my favorite. Stooped and disheveled, affectionate and grumbly, he seems much more human in the first film, making him all the more approachable, all the easier to love. This ornament captures him perfectly. Tall and majestic at about five inches in height, he stands with his arms bent and his feet all but invisible under the many folds of his thundery grey cloaks. The ornament is only him, with no base, but the bottom of his robe is a flat base in itself, about an inch and a half by an inch and three quarters, with just the tip of his brown left shoe peeking out.
Of course, Gandalf the Grey comes complete with a full, scraggly beard, the color of which is slightly lighter than his robes. There’s a slight sadness about his face, with its craggy lines and small mouth that is nearly swallowed up by his beard and mustache. His eyes gaze out from underneath bushy eyebrows, and overshadowing it all is his iconic hat, with its wide brim and long, pointy top. Turn him around, and you’ll see his hair trailing into his hood, which hangs down, unused.
Almost all of his other features are obscured by his well-weathered clothing, but both of his hands are visible. The right one cradles a long, thin brown pipe, while he clutches his brown staff in his left hand. While there is nothing specifically Christmassy about him, he looks to me like he has just turned up at Bilbo’s door for a friendly visit, and if Christmas existed in Middle-earth, this is exactly how I would expect to find him when paying a holiday call. One might even imagine that the brown satchel slung across his waist contains gifts. Take it a step further, and Gandalf could easily pose as Father Christmas.
At the same time, because this is just the wizard exactly as he appears in the movie, one could easily leave him up year-round, setting him on a shelf or desk someplace where he can overlook the room. I haven’t done so in the past, but looking at him now I wonder whether I ought to start. It might be a bit late to order him now in time for Christmas, but of all the ornaments I can think of, Gandalf may be the one who would be most suitable as a gift any time of the year. After all... “A wizard is never late... nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
Bob and Larry Sled Down the Christmas Tree
About a dozen years ago, I first fell under the spell of VeggieTales,
the computer-animated brainchild of Phil Vischer and Mike Nawrocki. This
video series, since expanded to include books, toys, CDs and all sorts
of other tie-in products, not to mention a couple of feature films,
bears the slogan “Sunday morning values, Saturday morning fun.” Vischer
and Nawrocki, who were practically the only staff when they first
created Big Idea, have described their unique brand of storytelling as
what might happen if Monty Python took over your Sunday school class.
Each video, ranging between half an hour and 45 minutes in length, has a particular theme and usually adapts a Bible story or a classic work of literature or pop culture in order to get a particular message across. The very first episode, Where’s God When I’m S-scared?, does both, incorporating the story of Daniel in the lions’ den as well as a spoof of Frankenstein. The next episodes feature parodies of The Grapes of Wrath, Gilligan’s Island and Star Trek, along with a Dr. Seuss-influenced adaptation of the parable of the Good Samaritan. More recently, this hobbit lover was ecstatic to see them take on Tolkien with Lord of the Beans. Each installment has been rich with memorable characters, zany humor, excellent animation and important lessons.
In the fall of 2000, I was a sophomore in college. It had been four years since my theology teacher, Father Santor, had introduced my classmates and me to the Veggies, but my enthusiasm had not waned. That Christmas, I received a Hallmark ornament featuring Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber, the Bert and Ernie-ish hosts of most of the episodes, and the stars of many of the stories. Bob is squat, red, practical and slightly ill-tempered. Larry is tall, green, enthusiastic and just plain silly. Though they appear to be the same basic age, Larry acts like a big kid all of the time. He even has his own Silly Songs With Larry segment, arguably the most popular element of most episodes.
This ornament captures a moment from The Toy That Saved Christmas, VeggieTales’ first Christmas special, in which Mr. Nezzer, the go-to character for clueless / nefarious bosses, is a toy manufacturer doing his very best to spread the cheery message “Christmas is when you get stuff!” Poking fun at commercialism and such Christmas toy crazes as Tickle-Me Elmo, this special introduces a toy named Buzz-Saw Louie who rebels against his programming and joins Bob and Larry in a race to remind the world what Christmas is really all about.
Bob and Larry cruise along on a curvy blue sled, which is about two and a half inches long. Two-inch tall Larry is right up at the front, his shiny black pupils glistening in his big white eyes as scenery whizzes past. Larry is all wrapped up in a red scarf, and fluffy red earmuffs connected by a black headband rest upon his head. His little round nose hovers just above his mouth, which is black, with the exception of his single white tooth, and is curved into an exhilarated smile. Larry is having the time of his life.
Behind him, Bob is not so thrilled. If you’ve seen the video, you’ll most likely hear him rattling off his dry complaints as he leans over to peer ahead. He was hoping for a nice cozy evening at home playing Mousetrap, and instead he got dragged into this. He, too, has large eyes with shiny black pupils, but instead of excited, he looks worried, with his eyelids raised high in apprehension. He too has a little ball of a nose, but it’s red instead of green, and the mouth underneath it is a tiny black circle of concern. The only clothing Bob wears is a festive knit cap with green and red stripes and a green pom-pom. On the side of his head is the gold ring for the ornament hook.
Bob and Larry sit perfectly well on a flat surface, but unless you have a diorama for them - a nice snowy landscape would be ideal - you’ll really want to hang them on the tree, where they will hang at a slight tilt and give the appearance that they really are sledding. They look wonderfully festive among the branches, and I always smile when I see them. Over the years, I’ve made several VeggieTales decorations of my own, but nothing beats the real thing. If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, you’ll want to add Bob and Larry to your ornament collection.
Each video, ranging between half an hour and 45 minutes in length, has a particular theme and usually adapts a Bible story or a classic work of literature or pop culture in order to get a particular message across. The very first episode, Where’s God When I’m S-scared?, does both, incorporating the story of Daniel in the lions’ den as well as a spoof of Frankenstein. The next episodes feature parodies of The Grapes of Wrath, Gilligan’s Island and Star Trek, along with a Dr. Seuss-influenced adaptation of the parable of the Good Samaritan. More recently, this hobbit lover was ecstatic to see them take on Tolkien with Lord of the Beans. Each installment has been rich with memorable characters, zany humor, excellent animation and important lessons.
In the fall of 2000, I was a sophomore in college. It had been four years since my theology teacher, Father Santor, had introduced my classmates and me to the Veggies, but my enthusiasm had not waned. That Christmas, I received a Hallmark ornament featuring Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber, the Bert and Ernie-ish hosts of most of the episodes, and the stars of many of the stories. Bob is squat, red, practical and slightly ill-tempered. Larry is tall, green, enthusiastic and just plain silly. Though they appear to be the same basic age, Larry acts like a big kid all of the time. He even has his own Silly Songs With Larry segment, arguably the most popular element of most episodes.
This ornament captures a moment from The Toy That Saved Christmas, VeggieTales’ first Christmas special, in which Mr. Nezzer, the go-to character for clueless / nefarious bosses, is a toy manufacturer doing his very best to spread the cheery message “Christmas is when you get stuff!” Poking fun at commercialism and such Christmas toy crazes as Tickle-Me Elmo, this special introduces a toy named Buzz-Saw Louie who rebels against his programming and joins Bob and Larry in a race to remind the world what Christmas is really all about.
Bob and Larry cruise along on a curvy blue sled, which is about two and a half inches long. Two-inch tall Larry is right up at the front, his shiny black pupils glistening in his big white eyes as scenery whizzes past. Larry is all wrapped up in a red scarf, and fluffy red earmuffs connected by a black headband rest upon his head. His little round nose hovers just above his mouth, which is black, with the exception of his single white tooth, and is curved into an exhilarated smile. Larry is having the time of his life.
Behind him, Bob is not so thrilled. If you’ve seen the video, you’ll most likely hear him rattling off his dry complaints as he leans over to peer ahead. He was hoping for a nice cozy evening at home playing Mousetrap, and instead he got dragged into this. He, too, has large eyes with shiny black pupils, but instead of excited, he looks worried, with his eyelids raised high in apprehension. He too has a little ball of a nose, but it’s red instead of green, and the mouth underneath it is a tiny black circle of concern. The only clothing Bob wears is a festive knit cap with green and red stripes and a green pom-pom. On the side of his head is the gold ring for the ornament hook.
Bob and Larry sit perfectly well on a flat surface, but unless you have a diorama for them - a nice snowy landscape would be ideal - you’ll really want to hang them on the tree, where they will hang at a slight tilt and give the appearance that they really are sledding. They look wonderfully festive among the branches, and I always smile when I see them. Over the years, I’ve made several VeggieTales decorations of my own, but nothing beats the real thing. If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, you’ll want to add Bob and Larry to your ornament collection.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore Sing "O Christmas Tree!"
One of my favorite post-Christmas guilty pleasures is raiding Hallmark
stores for ornaments that are now 50 or, if I’m really lucky, 75 percent
off. Usually by the time the price is that low, all of the stuff I’m
really interested in is gone. But at 50 percent, I generally still have
oodles to choose from. My tendency is to gravitate toward the “magic”
Pooh ornaments, the ones that cost quite a pretty penny to begin with.
With the hefty discount, prohibitive prices suddenly dissipate, and I
manage to convince myself that this keepsake is well worth the slashed
amount. Last year, my big after-Christmas purchase was O Christmas
Tree!, a deluxe ornament from the Winnie the Pooh collection.
The box reads, “Pooh says, ‘Let’s go caroling!’ / He loves a Christmas song. Tigger bounces by in time / To join the sing-along. / Eeyore’s part is listening / (He gets the notes all wrong), / While merry Piglet sings / And jingles ding-a-ding-a-dong!” It’s a large, cream-colored box with two pieces of plastic inside molded to fit around the figure, which, despite a ring upon the golden plastic star on the tree that is the centerpiece, really doesn’t seem to be designed for use on an actual evergreen.
One reason for this is that the tree is made out of a different material than the base and figures that are on top of it. Instead of being hard plastic, it’s bristly like a scrub brush. It doesn’t seem sturdy enough to support much weight. Another is that this ornament is designed to sit flat , so hanging it really doesn’t make sense. There’s usually at least one new Pooh display piece like this out every year; at this point, they’ve pretty much taken over our piano.
This ornament has a light blue base, on the bottom of which is a silver wind-up key. Along side of the base, which is circular with a three-inch diameter, are written the words “O Christmas tree! O Christmas tree! Of all the trees most lovely...” This base is about an inch tall, with a ridge of sparkling snow around the top. The surface on top of which the characters are situated is a powdery blue, with an island of snow in the middle, upon which rests the dark green, snow-covered Christmas tree.
Four characters are participants in this festive little gathering. Pooh, about an inch and three quarters tall, has a wide smile on his face as he sings, open book in hand. The implication, of course, is that he is reading the words to a carol, though I never got the impression that Pooh was much good at reading. Same goes for Tigger and Piglet, for that matter. But maybe the books are just for show; after all, the pages are blank. Pooh wears a light blue scarf and Tigger, “standing” on his scrunched-up tail, wears a green one. Piglet, in between them and about a quarter of an inch shorter, has a lavender scarf and carries a golden bell.
Eeyore, opposite Piglet, wears no jolly adornments at all, just the usual pink ribbon on his tail. His head is cocked as if to listen, as the poem suggests, though since he is part of the procession, it seems he would chime in a bit more. He doesn’t look like an observer; he comes off as one of the carolers. If it weren’t for the verse on the box, I’d suspect that he has no book because he’s more skilled at memorizing than the others. And as a donkey, I don’t know how he would tie a scarf around his own neck; I would hope that someone might take a hint away from this outing, though, and give him a scarf for Christmas, and offer to attach it as well.
There’s only limited space around this tree, so I can‘t complain too much about missing characters. One might imagine that the other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood are standing off beyond the boundaries of the ornament, listening appreciatively. I’m sure Kanga and Roo would enjoy such a performance, though I doubt Roo would sit still and listen for long; he’d want to jump in at the first opportunity! Christopher Robin would certainly lend an ear. Gopher, Rabbit and Owl all have more cantankerous dispositions, but at this time of year, one would hope that they would be inclined to be a good audience. I’m a little surprised the sculptor didn’t sneak Rabbit in here, though; I would expect him to have organized this little excursion himself, making it much more complicated than necessary. And there’s a space between Eeyore and Pooh that would probably be large enough to accommodate Rabbit, certainly if the others shifted a smidgen.
But the four characters we get are wonderfully vibrant and detailed and when one winds the key, the track they are on revolves around the tree to the tinkly tune of O Christmas Tree. It’s like a Hundred Acre Wood merry-go-round. The figures themselves don’t actually move in relation to the ground or each other, so the movement is not very sophisticated, and at times the key gets stuck and the turning stops before it should. Picking the ornament up or just rearranging it a bit usually fixes the problem. This isn’t my favorite of the “magic” Pooh ornaments that I have, but I do get a smile out of it. Pooh and his pals can come caroling in my neighborhood any time!
The box reads, “Pooh says, ‘Let’s go caroling!’ / He loves a Christmas song. Tigger bounces by in time / To join the sing-along. / Eeyore’s part is listening / (He gets the notes all wrong), / While merry Piglet sings / And jingles ding-a-ding-a-dong!” It’s a large, cream-colored box with two pieces of plastic inside molded to fit around the figure, which, despite a ring upon the golden plastic star on the tree that is the centerpiece, really doesn’t seem to be designed for use on an actual evergreen.
One reason for this is that the tree is made out of a different material than the base and figures that are on top of it. Instead of being hard plastic, it’s bristly like a scrub brush. It doesn’t seem sturdy enough to support much weight. Another is that this ornament is designed to sit flat , so hanging it really doesn’t make sense. There’s usually at least one new Pooh display piece like this out every year; at this point, they’ve pretty much taken over our piano.
This ornament has a light blue base, on the bottom of which is a silver wind-up key. Along side of the base, which is circular with a three-inch diameter, are written the words “O Christmas tree! O Christmas tree! Of all the trees most lovely...” This base is about an inch tall, with a ridge of sparkling snow around the top. The surface on top of which the characters are situated is a powdery blue, with an island of snow in the middle, upon which rests the dark green, snow-covered Christmas tree.
Four characters are participants in this festive little gathering. Pooh, about an inch and three quarters tall, has a wide smile on his face as he sings, open book in hand. The implication, of course, is that he is reading the words to a carol, though I never got the impression that Pooh was much good at reading. Same goes for Tigger and Piglet, for that matter. But maybe the books are just for show; after all, the pages are blank. Pooh wears a light blue scarf and Tigger, “standing” on his scrunched-up tail, wears a green one. Piglet, in between them and about a quarter of an inch shorter, has a lavender scarf and carries a golden bell.
Eeyore, opposite Piglet, wears no jolly adornments at all, just the usual pink ribbon on his tail. His head is cocked as if to listen, as the poem suggests, though since he is part of the procession, it seems he would chime in a bit more. He doesn’t look like an observer; he comes off as one of the carolers. If it weren’t for the verse on the box, I’d suspect that he has no book because he’s more skilled at memorizing than the others. And as a donkey, I don’t know how he would tie a scarf around his own neck; I would hope that someone might take a hint away from this outing, though, and give him a scarf for Christmas, and offer to attach it as well.
There’s only limited space around this tree, so I can‘t complain too much about missing characters. One might imagine that the other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood are standing off beyond the boundaries of the ornament, listening appreciatively. I’m sure Kanga and Roo would enjoy such a performance, though I doubt Roo would sit still and listen for long; he’d want to jump in at the first opportunity! Christopher Robin would certainly lend an ear. Gopher, Rabbit and Owl all have more cantankerous dispositions, but at this time of year, one would hope that they would be inclined to be a good audience. I’m a little surprised the sculptor didn’t sneak Rabbit in here, though; I would expect him to have organized this little excursion himself, making it much more complicated than necessary. And there’s a space between Eeyore and Pooh that would probably be large enough to accommodate Rabbit, certainly if the others shifted a smidgen.
But the four characters we get are wonderfully vibrant and detailed and when one winds the key, the track they are on revolves around the tree to the tinkly tune of O Christmas Tree. It’s like a Hundred Acre Wood merry-go-round. The figures themselves don’t actually move in relation to the ground or each other, so the movement is not very sophisticated, and at times the key gets stuck and the turning stops before it should. Picking the ornament up or just rearranging it a bit usually fixes the problem. This isn’t my favorite of the “magic” Pooh ornaments that I have, but I do get a smile out of it. Pooh and his pals can come caroling in my neighborhood any time!
A Flying Squirrel Delivers the Mail With Air Express
I love squirrels. I have always found them endearing, but I think I can
trace my obsession with them to a special that I watched on PBS years
ago entitled Backyard Bandits. This show was all about setting up elaborate obstacle courses for squirrels
to try to defeat in their quest for peanuts or kernels of corn. We’ve
never had much luck attracting the savvy rodents to our yard; there must
be too much feline aroma in the air. But I’ve spent many a tranquil
afternoon in a more suitable locale tossing nuts to willing squirrels
and seeing just how close they will come to me in their eagerness for a
tasty treat.
Air Express is a Hallmark ornament that dates back to 1995, which was shortly after I saw that special, so it seems like something I would have received as a gift, but as I recall, I bought it at a thrift shop some time later. This would seem to be supported by the slightly mangled box and the corner of a “sale price” sticker stuck to the front. No matter how I happened to get it, though, I’m glad this furry fellow is a part of my collection.
The back of the burgundy box reads, “Of course, you’ve heard of flying squirrels, / But did you ever guess / That Santa sometimes uses one / To send a gift express!” Yes, this is a different sort of squirrel than the ones I tend to see here in Pennsylvania. Those are gray squirrels, big and burly; this little guy is a sprightly brown flying squirrel, and instead of snatching goodies away from people, he’s delivering them. Nice change of pace; maybe he can help blot out some of the bad press his thieving relatives are giving the species!
This squirrel is just shy of three and a half inches long, with his front and back paws stretched into proper flying position and his wavy tail flapping out behind him. The ornament is only about an inch in height; this is a very compact critter. He has large chocolaty brown eyes and a cute little black nose just above his mouth, which is set in a face of the same beige color as his stomach. His surface is light brown and highly textured, with lots of tiny lines in the plastic to help give it the appearance of real fur.
Each of his paws has four little digits. The tail, flat in its stretched-out state, looks almost more like a beaver’s tail as it ripples against the wind. As a member of Santa’s Special Forces, he comes equipped with a uniform. His red cape is reminiscent of Superman, especially when coupled with his gold-trimmed blue mailman hat. Around his neck is slung a mail bag the precise shade of peanut butter, a color I suppose must be motivating to a squirrel. The bag is trimmed in dark red and bears the words “AIR EXPRESS”. Several white envelopes poke out of the top.
This is a very simple, no-frills ornament, but I don’t mind that. Considering that it’s both a squirrel and an airborne creature, it’s definitely intended for the tree, and it doesn’t rest naturally on a flat surface. Hang the ornament on an obliging branch, however, and you’ve got an ideal home for this adorable little fella who is so very anxious to bring you an extra bit of Christmas cheer.
Air Express is a Hallmark ornament that dates back to 1995, which was shortly after I saw that special, so it seems like something I would have received as a gift, but as I recall, I bought it at a thrift shop some time later. This would seem to be supported by the slightly mangled box and the corner of a “sale price” sticker stuck to the front. No matter how I happened to get it, though, I’m glad this furry fellow is a part of my collection.
The back of the burgundy box reads, “Of course, you’ve heard of flying squirrels, / But did you ever guess / That Santa sometimes uses one / To send a gift express!” Yes, this is a different sort of squirrel than the ones I tend to see here in Pennsylvania. Those are gray squirrels, big and burly; this little guy is a sprightly brown flying squirrel, and instead of snatching goodies away from people, he’s delivering them. Nice change of pace; maybe he can help blot out some of the bad press his thieving relatives are giving the species!
This squirrel is just shy of three and a half inches long, with his front and back paws stretched into proper flying position and his wavy tail flapping out behind him. The ornament is only about an inch in height; this is a very compact critter. He has large chocolaty brown eyes and a cute little black nose just above his mouth, which is set in a face of the same beige color as his stomach. His surface is light brown and highly textured, with lots of tiny lines in the plastic to help give it the appearance of real fur.
Each of his paws has four little digits. The tail, flat in its stretched-out state, looks almost more like a beaver’s tail as it ripples against the wind. As a member of Santa’s Special Forces, he comes equipped with a uniform. His red cape is reminiscent of Superman, especially when coupled with his gold-trimmed blue mailman hat. Around his neck is slung a mail bag the precise shade of peanut butter, a color I suppose must be motivating to a squirrel. The bag is trimmed in dark red and bears the words “AIR EXPRESS”. Several white envelopes poke out of the top.
This is a very simple, no-frills ornament, but I don’t mind that. Considering that it’s both a squirrel and an airborne creature, it’s definitely intended for the tree, and it doesn’t rest naturally on a flat surface. Hang the ornament on an obliging branch, however, and you’ve got an ideal home for this adorable little fella who is so very anxious to bring you an extra bit of Christmas cheer.
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Spotlight Is On Other Entertainers at Elton John's Christmas Party
I’m a big Elton John fan, but I wasn’t sure what to think when I borrowed Elton John’s Christmas Party
from the library. This is a compilation album, which to me feels a bit
like just turning on the radio and seeing what comes up. Of course, more
thought went into it than that; each of the 15 songs on this album were
chosen for a particular reason, which Elton helpfully goes into in the
liner notes. And there’s something appealingly humble about the project;
while Elton does include two of his own songs (one of which is a duet),
the spotlight is primarily on other artists, and it’s nice to see a pop
superstar showing such sincere appreciation for his peers. I suspected
that I would find one or two songs on the album I liked and give a shrug
to the rest. But I really enjoy most what Elton terms his “Christmas
favorites,” leaving me with several other musicians to investigate.
Ultimately, this album surprised me. In a good way.
Step Into Christmas - It makes sense that Elton would kick off his “Christmas Party” with a song of his own. It’s one of the few songs on the album I was actually previously familiar with. It’s got a groovy guitar riff and sleigh bells, a nice combo of contemporary-sounding pop and traditional Christmassy sounds. The lyrics are rather frivolous and there‘s something really trippy going on with one of the instruments, but the song is enthusiastic and inviting, and it always gets me boppin’ when I hear it on the radio. “Step into Christmas / Let's join together / We can watch the snow fall forever and ever...”
Feliz Navidad - I never even heard of El Vez before, but he’s the man behind this hard-rockin’ version of the peppy song written by Jose Feliciano. The kids singing backup help keep a childlike sense of joy and wonder at the forefront. “Feliz navidad / Feliz navidad / Feliz navidad, prospero ano y felicidad.”
The Man With All the Toys - This isn’t my favorite of the Beach Boys’ Christmas songs, especially now that I’ve heard their Christmas collection, but it’s a fun little ditty. This vision of Santa is much simpler than the typical North Pole toy factory depicted in Christmas specials. I like it, but all the “bop!”s in the background annoy me a bit. “Someone found a lighted house late one night / And he saw through the window a sight: / A big man in a chair / And little tiny men everywhere. / He's the man with all the toys.”
A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn’t So) - I don’t know anything about the Flaming Lips, and I never heard this song before. I like the chimes, bells and shakers that turn up here, and the slightly rough quality of the lead singer’s voice fits with his rambling, yearning discourse, with each verse almost sounding like one long run-on sentence. There’s something very interesting and unconventional about this one, and I love the sentiments it espouses. “Oh, if I could stop time / It would be a frozen moment just around Christmas / When all of mankind reveals its truest potential / And there is sympathy for the suffering...”
It Doesn’t Often Snow at Christmas - This Pet Shop Boys song is backed by pounding percussion and takes a cynical view throughout the verses, but the choruses ends on a cheerier note. I‘m not familiar with this band, so I don‘t know if this track is typical of their sound; their voices sound high and forlorn, often approaching falsetto range, and the song is very techno-ish, particularly toward the end. “It doesn’t often snow at Christmas the way it ought to do / But I’ll still have a ball at Christmas because I’ll be with you.”
Spotlight on Christmas - I have a passing familiarity with Rufus Wainwright, but I’d never encountered this song before. A guitar-driven, folksy sort of song augmented by bells, it’s a sort of ragged-voiced protest anthem against crass commercialism and turning a cold shoulder to those in need. A really nice song. “But, don't forget Jesus, Mary, and Joseph / Once were a family poor but rich in hope, yeah / Don't forget Jesus, Mary, and Joseph / Running from the law King Herod had imposeth.”
Jingle Bell Rock - I’ve heard the song, of course, but never this instrumental version by the Ventures, which is one of the most jammin’ renditions I’ve heard, definitely putting the emphasis on the “rock”.
Run Rudolph Run - I’ve always found this Chuck Berry song rather odd; I don’t mind when the Muppets cover it, but the original just gets on my nerves. The word “reindeers” bugs me, as does the word “wet” as a verb and the fact that all of the verses end in such a way that they sound like there should be more to come. It’s a perfectly innocuous song along the lines of Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town, but it’s never been one I’ve particularly liked.
Merry Christmas Baby - The Muppets have done this song as well, and I dislike their version, featuring Pepe the prawn, heartily. This rendition, by Otis Redding, comes complete with sleigh bells and background instrumentals that occasionally hint at Jingle Bells. Oddly, while I’ve heard this song several times before, I’d never come across Otis‘s; it’s the least campy version I’ve heard, and I almost like it coming from him. “Merry Christmas baby, you sure did treat me nice...”
Christmas Island - This fun cover by Jimmy Buffett is along the lines of Melekalikimaka, imagining a very different setting for Christmas than the one presented in most seasonal songs. I love the instruments, which all evoke tropical beaches; the percussion is especially bouncy. Given Jimmy Buffett’s association with sunny beaches, this seems like the perfect Christmassy representation of him. “How’d you like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island? / Howdja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?”
Christmas Must Be Tonight - A humble Christmas song in extravagant electronic trappings. Other than knowing they were associated with Bob Dylan, The Band is another group I’m not familiar with, but I was entirely charmed by this reverent song about the Nativity from the perspective of a shepherd. “I saw it with my own eyes, written up in the skies / But why a simple herdsmen such as I / And then it came to pass, he was born at last / Right below the star that shines on high.”
2000 Miles - I think I may have heard this song by the Pretenders before, though not this version. Chrissie Hynde has an unusual voice that suits the despondent lyrics. “The snows falling down, / It's colder day by day. / I miss you. / I can hear people singing, / It must be Christmas time.”
December Will Be Magic Again - The second song on the album to mention Bing Crosby by name. Kate Bush is an artist entirely unfamiliar to me; I was so discombobulated by her high voice that it took half the song before I could properly concentrate on the track at hand. There’s a very creepy quality to her voice; she sounds crystalline, which is fitting since in this song, she is the personification of snow. “Ooh, dropping down in my parachute, / The white city, she is so beautiful / Upon the black-soot icicled roofs, / Ooh, and see how I fall.”
New Year’s Day - Elton couldn’t let the album conclude without a contribution from U2. Bono, after all, is the epitome of cool. This is what I have gathered, though I must confess that I’m familiar with very little of U2’s music, and this song was new to me. Definitely a rock song. Not so much in my style, but I like the hints of activism running through the lyrics. “Under a blood red sky / A crowd has gathered in black and white / Arms entwined, the chosen few...”
Calling It Christmas - Elton teams up with Joss Stone for this lovely song that ends the album on a surprisingly reverent note. It’s strange to hear Elton sing something so hymnlike, but he sounds sincere, and Joss’s vocals are glorious; she sounds like a soloist in a church choir, especially when a chorus swells behind her and Elton. A piano solo toward the end of the song morphs into a guitar solo before we return to the singers, now belting the lyrics out with all the enthusiasm they can muster. I don’t know how this song, written by Elton and his longtime songwriter partner, Bernie Taupin, eluded me for so long, but I’m very glad I found it. “We've been calling it Christmas / Keeping the faith / Knowing the reason / We're saving the day. / We've been calling it Christmas / Down through the years / Spreading joy to the world / When Christmas is here.”
This last track alone makes the album a major discovery for me, with Spotlight on Christmas and Christmas Must Be Tonight competing to be my second-favorite track. The one downside I stumbled upon is the fact that this is a re-release, pared down from the Starbucks exclusive CD from the year before. Six tracks are absent. I don’t really mind missing out on the Ronettes’ Frosty the Snowman, which I find annoying. Bruce Springsteen’s Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town plays on the radio about ten times a day, as does the Eagles’ Please Come Home For Christmas. I don’t know if I’ve heard the Crystals’ version of Rudolph or not, but I doubt it’s earth-shatteringly unique. Nonetheless, that leaves Outkast’s Playa’s Ball and the much more intriguing St. Patrick’s Day by John Mayer. So even if I just whittle it down to those two, I’m feeling a little left out. So if you can find the 2005 version of this CD, you might want to give that a shot instead. But those types of issues aside, kudos to Elton John for such a terrific compilation.
Step Into Christmas - It makes sense that Elton would kick off his “Christmas Party” with a song of his own. It’s one of the few songs on the album I was actually previously familiar with. It’s got a groovy guitar riff and sleigh bells, a nice combo of contemporary-sounding pop and traditional Christmassy sounds. The lyrics are rather frivolous and there‘s something really trippy going on with one of the instruments, but the song is enthusiastic and inviting, and it always gets me boppin’ when I hear it on the radio. “Step into Christmas / Let's join together / We can watch the snow fall forever and ever...”
Feliz Navidad - I never even heard of El Vez before, but he’s the man behind this hard-rockin’ version of the peppy song written by Jose Feliciano. The kids singing backup help keep a childlike sense of joy and wonder at the forefront. “Feliz navidad / Feliz navidad / Feliz navidad, prospero ano y felicidad.”
The Man With All the Toys - This isn’t my favorite of the Beach Boys’ Christmas songs, especially now that I’ve heard their Christmas collection, but it’s a fun little ditty. This vision of Santa is much simpler than the typical North Pole toy factory depicted in Christmas specials. I like it, but all the “bop!”s in the background annoy me a bit. “Someone found a lighted house late one night / And he saw through the window a sight: / A big man in a chair / And little tiny men everywhere. / He's the man with all the toys.”
A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn’t So) - I don’t know anything about the Flaming Lips, and I never heard this song before. I like the chimes, bells and shakers that turn up here, and the slightly rough quality of the lead singer’s voice fits with his rambling, yearning discourse, with each verse almost sounding like one long run-on sentence. There’s something very interesting and unconventional about this one, and I love the sentiments it espouses. “Oh, if I could stop time / It would be a frozen moment just around Christmas / When all of mankind reveals its truest potential / And there is sympathy for the suffering...”
It Doesn’t Often Snow at Christmas - This Pet Shop Boys song is backed by pounding percussion and takes a cynical view throughout the verses, but the choruses ends on a cheerier note. I‘m not familiar with this band, so I don‘t know if this track is typical of their sound; their voices sound high and forlorn, often approaching falsetto range, and the song is very techno-ish, particularly toward the end. “It doesn’t often snow at Christmas the way it ought to do / But I’ll still have a ball at Christmas because I’ll be with you.”
Spotlight on Christmas - I have a passing familiarity with Rufus Wainwright, but I’d never encountered this song before. A guitar-driven, folksy sort of song augmented by bells, it’s a sort of ragged-voiced protest anthem against crass commercialism and turning a cold shoulder to those in need. A really nice song. “But, don't forget Jesus, Mary, and Joseph / Once were a family poor but rich in hope, yeah / Don't forget Jesus, Mary, and Joseph / Running from the law King Herod had imposeth.”
Jingle Bell Rock - I’ve heard the song, of course, but never this instrumental version by the Ventures, which is one of the most jammin’ renditions I’ve heard, definitely putting the emphasis on the “rock”.
Run Rudolph Run - I’ve always found this Chuck Berry song rather odd; I don’t mind when the Muppets cover it, but the original just gets on my nerves. The word “reindeers” bugs me, as does the word “wet” as a verb and the fact that all of the verses end in such a way that they sound like there should be more to come. It’s a perfectly innocuous song along the lines of Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town, but it’s never been one I’ve particularly liked.
Merry Christmas Baby - The Muppets have done this song as well, and I dislike their version, featuring Pepe the prawn, heartily. This rendition, by Otis Redding, comes complete with sleigh bells and background instrumentals that occasionally hint at Jingle Bells. Oddly, while I’ve heard this song several times before, I’d never come across Otis‘s; it’s the least campy version I’ve heard, and I almost like it coming from him. “Merry Christmas baby, you sure did treat me nice...”
Christmas Island - This fun cover by Jimmy Buffett is along the lines of Melekalikimaka, imagining a very different setting for Christmas than the one presented in most seasonal songs. I love the instruments, which all evoke tropical beaches; the percussion is especially bouncy. Given Jimmy Buffett’s association with sunny beaches, this seems like the perfect Christmassy representation of him. “How’d you like to spend Christmas on Christmas Island? / Howdja like to spend the holiday away across the sea?”
Christmas Must Be Tonight - A humble Christmas song in extravagant electronic trappings. Other than knowing they were associated with Bob Dylan, The Band is another group I’m not familiar with, but I was entirely charmed by this reverent song about the Nativity from the perspective of a shepherd. “I saw it with my own eyes, written up in the skies / But why a simple herdsmen such as I / And then it came to pass, he was born at last / Right below the star that shines on high.”
2000 Miles - I think I may have heard this song by the Pretenders before, though not this version. Chrissie Hynde has an unusual voice that suits the despondent lyrics. “The snows falling down, / It's colder day by day. / I miss you. / I can hear people singing, / It must be Christmas time.”
December Will Be Magic Again - The second song on the album to mention Bing Crosby by name. Kate Bush is an artist entirely unfamiliar to me; I was so discombobulated by her high voice that it took half the song before I could properly concentrate on the track at hand. There’s a very creepy quality to her voice; she sounds crystalline, which is fitting since in this song, she is the personification of snow. “Ooh, dropping down in my parachute, / The white city, she is so beautiful / Upon the black-soot icicled roofs, / Ooh, and see how I fall.”
New Year’s Day - Elton couldn’t let the album conclude without a contribution from U2. Bono, after all, is the epitome of cool. This is what I have gathered, though I must confess that I’m familiar with very little of U2’s music, and this song was new to me. Definitely a rock song. Not so much in my style, but I like the hints of activism running through the lyrics. “Under a blood red sky / A crowd has gathered in black and white / Arms entwined, the chosen few...”
Calling It Christmas - Elton teams up with Joss Stone for this lovely song that ends the album on a surprisingly reverent note. It’s strange to hear Elton sing something so hymnlike, but he sounds sincere, and Joss’s vocals are glorious; she sounds like a soloist in a church choir, especially when a chorus swells behind her and Elton. A piano solo toward the end of the song morphs into a guitar solo before we return to the singers, now belting the lyrics out with all the enthusiasm they can muster. I don’t know how this song, written by Elton and his longtime songwriter partner, Bernie Taupin, eluded me for so long, but I’m very glad I found it. “We've been calling it Christmas / Keeping the faith / Knowing the reason / We're saving the day. / We've been calling it Christmas / Down through the years / Spreading joy to the world / When Christmas is here.”
This last track alone makes the album a major discovery for me, with Spotlight on Christmas and Christmas Must Be Tonight competing to be my second-favorite track. The one downside I stumbled upon is the fact that this is a re-release, pared down from the Starbucks exclusive CD from the year before. Six tracks are absent. I don’t really mind missing out on the Ronettes’ Frosty the Snowman, which I find annoying. Bruce Springsteen’s Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town plays on the radio about ten times a day, as does the Eagles’ Please Come Home For Christmas. I don’t know if I’ve heard the Crystals’ version of Rudolph or not, but I doubt it’s earth-shatteringly unique. Nonetheless, that leaves Outkast’s Playa’s Ball and the much more intriguing St. Patrick’s Day by John Mayer. So even if I just whittle it down to those two, I’m feeling a little left out. So if you can find the 2005 version of this CD, you might want to give that a shot instead. But those types of issues aside, kudos to Elton John for such a terrific compilation.
A Crocodile Is Full of Christmas Kindness in Lyle at Christmas
A house in the bustling city doesn't seem like a very good place for a
crocodile to live, but it's home for the very affectionate, very
reptilian Lyle in Bernard Waber's Lyle at Christmas. It's a
locale that allows him to have constant contact with other people, who
he loves, as well as other animals, especially the cat Loretta, who
lives nearby. While Lyle is reveling in all of his companions and
giddily anticipating Christmas, Loretta, stuck with a melancholy owner,
slips out the door, leaving her scaly friend anxious and sad. All he
wants for Christmas is his neighbor home safe, but can Santa manage it?
I've heard of Lyle the crocodile before but haven't read other books in which he stars. Based on this one, I'd be glad to check them out. Lyle has a kind disposition that seems contrary to his species; perhaps Waber, like the late Steve Irwin, wants to change the public perception of these impressive predators. Of course, Lyle is atypical, every inch a human aside from his body and the fact that he doesn't wear clothes, except for an apron when he is cleaning house.
The book is full of cute, cartoonish drawings, in color and usually more than one to a page. Supporting characters include the Primm family with whom Lyle lives; the supremely surly Mr. Grumps; Hector, a friend of Lyle's who is both a performer and a house cleaner; and the loony, fiery-haired cat lady Prunella.
While they live in the big city, there’s a definite sense of community; as people come and go, they generally treat one another with kindness, and Lyle is especially popular with citizens of all ages, as demonstrated by two pages showing his walk through town, during which the crossing guard, the pizza man, the newsstand owner and a busload of children all take time out to greet him. Later, Lyle finds no shortage of people to help him try to locate Loretta.
Most pages contain three or four sentences, often separated by several drawings. The plethora of pictures helps present the appearance of activity. There’s usually a lot going on in this book, and many people are involved. Waber seems determined to demonstrate that people from all walks of life can live and work together peaceably with a little effort and that stressful situations can actually bring neighbors together instead of driving them apart.
This is a positive message and a charming book. With amusing situations and heartfelt sentiments, Lyle at Christmas contains one green Christmas that won’t leave you feeling blue.
I've heard of Lyle the crocodile before but haven't read other books in which he stars. Based on this one, I'd be glad to check them out. Lyle has a kind disposition that seems contrary to his species; perhaps Waber, like the late Steve Irwin, wants to change the public perception of these impressive predators. Of course, Lyle is atypical, every inch a human aside from his body and the fact that he doesn't wear clothes, except for an apron when he is cleaning house.
The book is full of cute, cartoonish drawings, in color and usually more than one to a page. Supporting characters include the Primm family with whom Lyle lives; the supremely surly Mr. Grumps; Hector, a friend of Lyle's who is both a performer and a house cleaner; and the loony, fiery-haired cat lady Prunella.
While they live in the big city, there’s a definite sense of community; as people come and go, they generally treat one another with kindness, and Lyle is especially popular with citizens of all ages, as demonstrated by two pages showing his walk through town, during which the crossing guard, the pizza man, the newsstand owner and a busload of children all take time out to greet him. Later, Lyle finds no shortage of people to help him try to locate Loretta.
Most pages contain three or four sentences, often separated by several drawings. The plethora of pictures helps present the appearance of activity. There’s usually a lot going on in this book, and many people are involved. Waber seems determined to demonstrate that people from all walks of life can live and work together peaceably with a little effort and that stressful situations can actually bring neighbors together instead of driving them apart.
This is a positive message and a charming book. With amusing situations and heartfelt sentiments, Lyle at Christmas contains one green Christmas that won’t leave you feeling blue.
Simon Cowell Delivers a Christmas Present With Il Divo's Christmas Collection
Opera really isn’t my preferred style of music. Nonetheless, I’ve caught
Il Divo on morning shows several times, and I’ve enjoyed the
performances by this quartet put together by famous American Idol
meanie Simon Cowell. Spanish Carlos MarÃn, Swiss Urs Bühler, American
David Miller and French Sébastien Izambard are the four men who bring
their fantastic voices to this group, which reminds me a bit of Celtic
Thunder, but with four guys like Paul Byrom and a more ensemble focus.
In each song on The Christmas Collection, there are solo lines, but there are also times when all four sing at once. I prefer the harmonies of Celtic Thunder, in part because four operatic voices together can sound a little over-the-top, but these guys definitely sound nice together.
O Holy Night - Each of the individual men shines on his solo lines on this one, but it’s in the moments when they come together in harmony that they sound most magnificent, particularly when combined with the delicate backing of a children’s choir and, toward the end, some ostentatious brass. Though they neglect to sing my favorite verse of the song, it’s nonetheless one of the more impressive renditions I’ve heard, and it renews my hope that a group rendition of this song is in Celtic Thunder’s future.
White Christmas - I like the orchestration on this one, with strings, woodwinds and bells that give the song a nostalgic feel. The first time through is definitely a throwback to the original recording, and the guys sing one at a time. They come together to sing it in a different language - Spanish or Italian, I think. This part sounds a little overly fancy for a song so focused on simplicity, but they do harmonize quite beautifully.
Ave Maria - This harp-accompanied song is surprisingly soft, with a reverently hushed tone as the men switch off and occasionally sing in harmony. At about the two and a half minute mark, the song takes on a pop feel, with finger-snapping percussion especially prominent. The men really let it all out vocally around the four-minute mark, concluding the song in a burst of glory notes.
When a Child Is Born - This song is slightly less well-known than the others, though I am still familiar with it. What interested me most about this rendition was the bagpipe interlude between choruses, which included what sounded to me like a musical quote of You Raise Me Up. The men again come together for a grandiose ending, but I prefer the quieter, more humble beginning.
Adeste Fidelis (O Come All Ye Faithful) - This starts out a cappella and in English before instrumental accompaniment softly creeps in and it switches over to Italian. I especially like the chimes that add a tinkly sound as of falling snowflakes. This one also builds to a grand finish, without any of the voices sounding as though they are in competition with one another to be heard.
Over the Rainbow - A rather odd choice for this album. I’ve never thought of this one as a Christmas song, though I suppose that its wishful tone gels with the idea of people longing for miracles at Christmastime. It acknowledges a greater something beyond what we directly experience, but there are so many Christmas songs dealing with this directly that the vague connection this offers doesn’t seem very strong. Nonetheless, it’s a lovely version, and I especially love the chimes on this one.
Panis Angelicus - Another Latin song that seems to be popular among operatic singers. Pretty comparable to Ave Maria.
Rejoice - The only song on the album I hadn’t heard before, this gentle tune incorporating piano and Irish whistle is at its best toward the beginning when the men switch off with each other. I always like to have at least one song on a Christmas album that’s new to me, so I’m really glad this was included. “So come and rejoice, come and rejoice, what was lost is found.”
Silent Night - Some nice harmonies on this one, though it gets a little loud toward the end as the crescendo continues. I wish they’d done the third verse instead of repeating the first again, but their voices sound beautiful together. As Simon and Garfunkel so effectively demonstrated, this is definitely a song that can benefit from close harmony.
The Lord’s Prayer - Another song I wouldn’t normally associate with Christmas in particular, but it certainly is relevant, and it ends the album on a majestic note.
Listening to this album doesn’t give me much of a sense of the men as individuals; there are lyric sheets floating around online that helpfully point out who sings what in each song, but I have a feeling I’d have to watch a concert special in order to really get them sorted out. The reverent tone, with all but one song overtly religious, reminds me of Josh Groban and David Archuleta’s Christmas albums, which puts these guys in good company and makes them fellows I’d like to get to know better.
O Holy Night - Each of the individual men shines on his solo lines on this one, but it’s in the moments when they come together in harmony that they sound most magnificent, particularly when combined with the delicate backing of a children’s choir and, toward the end, some ostentatious brass. Though they neglect to sing my favorite verse of the song, it’s nonetheless one of the more impressive renditions I’ve heard, and it renews my hope that a group rendition of this song is in Celtic Thunder’s future.
White Christmas - I like the orchestration on this one, with strings, woodwinds and bells that give the song a nostalgic feel. The first time through is definitely a throwback to the original recording, and the guys sing one at a time. They come together to sing it in a different language - Spanish or Italian, I think. This part sounds a little overly fancy for a song so focused on simplicity, but they do harmonize quite beautifully.
Ave Maria - This harp-accompanied song is surprisingly soft, with a reverently hushed tone as the men switch off and occasionally sing in harmony. At about the two and a half minute mark, the song takes on a pop feel, with finger-snapping percussion especially prominent. The men really let it all out vocally around the four-minute mark, concluding the song in a burst of glory notes.
When a Child Is Born - This song is slightly less well-known than the others, though I am still familiar with it. What interested me most about this rendition was the bagpipe interlude between choruses, which included what sounded to me like a musical quote of You Raise Me Up. The men again come together for a grandiose ending, but I prefer the quieter, more humble beginning.
Adeste Fidelis (O Come All Ye Faithful) - This starts out a cappella and in English before instrumental accompaniment softly creeps in and it switches over to Italian. I especially like the chimes that add a tinkly sound as of falling snowflakes. This one also builds to a grand finish, without any of the voices sounding as though they are in competition with one another to be heard.
Over the Rainbow - A rather odd choice for this album. I’ve never thought of this one as a Christmas song, though I suppose that its wishful tone gels with the idea of people longing for miracles at Christmastime. It acknowledges a greater something beyond what we directly experience, but there are so many Christmas songs dealing with this directly that the vague connection this offers doesn’t seem very strong. Nonetheless, it’s a lovely version, and I especially love the chimes on this one.
Panis Angelicus - Another Latin song that seems to be popular among operatic singers. Pretty comparable to Ave Maria.
Rejoice - The only song on the album I hadn’t heard before, this gentle tune incorporating piano and Irish whistle is at its best toward the beginning when the men switch off with each other. I always like to have at least one song on a Christmas album that’s new to me, so I’m really glad this was included. “So come and rejoice, come and rejoice, what was lost is found.”
Silent Night - Some nice harmonies on this one, though it gets a little loud toward the end as the crescendo continues. I wish they’d done the third verse instead of repeating the first again, but their voices sound beautiful together. As Simon and Garfunkel so effectively demonstrated, this is definitely a song that can benefit from close harmony.
The Lord’s Prayer - Another song I wouldn’t normally associate with Christmas in particular, but it certainly is relevant, and it ends the album on a majestic note.
Listening to this album doesn’t give me much of a sense of the men as individuals; there are lyric sheets floating around online that helpfully point out who sings what in each song, but I have a feeling I’d have to watch a concert special in order to really get them sorted out. The reverent tone, with all but one song overtly religious, reminds me of Josh Groban and David Archuleta’s Christmas albums, which puts these guys in good company and makes them fellows I’d like to get to know better.
Christmastime in Larryland: Worst Christmas Album Ever?
One of my very favorite Christmas albums is A Prairie Home Christmas,
which features several tracks offering a comical take on the holiday.
Some are musical, others are more straightforward sketches, but all are
both tasteful and genuinely funny. I was hoping that I might find
something like that with Christmastime in Larryland by Larry the
Cable Guy. I didn’t really expect it, as I’d heard his brand of comedy
was rather lowbrow, but I’d never experienced it for myself, and I
dearly love Mater, the open-hearted, falling-apart tow truck he voices
in Cars. So I thought I’d give it a shot.
It’s the worst Christmas album I’ve ever heard.
Larry‘s Introduction finds him musing about his fondness for Christmas specials, and for a minute or so it’s fairly inoffensive. But it doesn’t take long for the humor to become distasteful, with one grotesque vignette after another. I did find his comments on lame Christmas gifts amusing, but some of his word choices made his spiel less enjoyable for me, and the culmination of his routine seems to be giving Christians a backhanded insult. Listening to this track gave me much foreboding about the rest of the album.
Lapquest is a very stupid, thankfully very short message from a sponsor, a GPS that directs drivers to dirty clubs. Eulogy isn’t Christmassy but is a rather amusing and self-referential track, as Larry tells us he’s about to memorialize the inventor of the laugh track, which he uses liberally on this album. “See how that works? If you tell the listener it’s funny, then it is!” He then goes on to give a very morbid eulogy filled with calamitous events, after each of which is a most inappropriate outburst of laugh track yuks.
Tobacco Company Choir plays like one of those late-night CD commercials, featuring snippets of songs by a tuneless choir of people with synthesized voices. At least it discourages smoking... Plus-Sized Fashion Shorts is another extremely short and stupid track, proposing a line of designer shorts for larger women featuring messages supposedly more suited to their size. The most redneckish bit yet.
In Nativity Scene, Larry and his friends participate in a live nativity, for the professed purpose of annoying “commie libs”. Larry tries to get his buddies to keep the Christmas spirit, but it’s freezing out and several key characters are missing, so complaints are plentiful, as are inappropriate comments. Farting Jingle Bells is eye-rollingly self-explanatory. Bobblehead Heating Dolls is another advertisement, announced by someone who sounds like he’s fresh from an orthodontist appointment. It’s goofy, not all that funny but not offensive either.
Comedian Muhammad & Oscar is a short-lived comedy routine by a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. Holiday Carols is another CD commercial, featuring Larry singing versions of Christmas carols not-so-subtly suggesting that his relatives leave. A Santa’s Q&A features Larry as a cranky Santa giving a series of very un-Santa-ish answers to questions. At more than 10 minutes in length, this goes on much longer than it should. The very short Nutcracker is nothing but The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy accompanied by popping sounds and agitated yells. Dysfunctional Family Christmas is just what it sounds like, with a family with very poor dispositions opening a series of bad presents.
Liberal Commie Environmental Poem is making fun of environmentalists by “green”-izing A Visit From St. Nicholas. There’s no attention whatsoever to meter, but I suppose that’s part of the intended humor. Magic O’ The Mime presents a performance by a mime magician, which obviously doesn’t amount to much on a CD. We get nothing but the laugh track and some very faint musical accompaniment. 1-900... is seductive / derisive advertisement for a chat hotline.
The Chitmunks is a lame spoof on Alvin and the Chipmunks. Patriotic Poem is another Visit From St. Nicholas knock-off, this one attacking anti-American sentiment, featuring Ronald Reagan in the Santa Claus role. Medley of Carols is another series of skewered Christmas song segments sung by Larry. Thankfully, there are only two. Closing Monologue wraps it all up, leaving me saying, “I can’t believe I listened to the whole thing!”
Yes, there were many times when I contemplated turning off the CD player and tossing this album right back in the case. I kept hoping I would find at least one track thoroughly, genuinely funny. Last year, Stephen Colbert came out with his Christmas special, and while I found elements of that show somewhat distasteful, it was much better than this one. The songs were clever, melodious and mostly only mildly offensive, if at all, and I find it hard to find fault with any of them after listening to this for an hour. I’ll always love Mater the tow truck. But after this, I think I’ll steer clear Larry the Cable Guy in his natural form.
It’s the worst Christmas album I’ve ever heard.
Larry‘s Introduction finds him musing about his fondness for Christmas specials, and for a minute or so it’s fairly inoffensive. But it doesn’t take long for the humor to become distasteful, with one grotesque vignette after another. I did find his comments on lame Christmas gifts amusing, but some of his word choices made his spiel less enjoyable for me, and the culmination of his routine seems to be giving Christians a backhanded insult. Listening to this track gave me much foreboding about the rest of the album.
Lapquest is a very stupid, thankfully very short message from a sponsor, a GPS that directs drivers to dirty clubs. Eulogy isn’t Christmassy but is a rather amusing and self-referential track, as Larry tells us he’s about to memorialize the inventor of the laugh track, which he uses liberally on this album. “See how that works? If you tell the listener it’s funny, then it is!” He then goes on to give a very morbid eulogy filled with calamitous events, after each of which is a most inappropriate outburst of laugh track yuks.
Tobacco Company Choir plays like one of those late-night CD commercials, featuring snippets of songs by a tuneless choir of people with synthesized voices. At least it discourages smoking... Plus-Sized Fashion Shorts is another extremely short and stupid track, proposing a line of designer shorts for larger women featuring messages supposedly more suited to their size. The most redneckish bit yet.
In Nativity Scene, Larry and his friends participate in a live nativity, for the professed purpose of annoying “commie libs”. Larry tries to get his buddies to keep the Christmas spirit, but it’s freezing out and several key characters are missing, so complaints are plentiful, as are inappropriate comments. Farting Jingle Bells is eye-rollingly self-explanatory. Bobblehead Heating Dolls is another advertisement, announced by someone who sounds like he’s fresh from an orthodontist appointment. It’s goofy, not all that funny but not offensive either.
Comedian Muhammad & Oscar is a short-lived comedy routine by a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. Holiday Carols is another CD commercial, featuring Larry singing versions of Christmas carols not-so-subtly suggesting that his relatives leave. A Santa’s Q&A features Larry as a cranky Santa giving a series of very un-Santa-ish answers to questions. At more than 10 minutes in length, this goes on much longer than it should. The very short Nutcracker is nothing but The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy accompanied by popping sounds and agitated yells. Dysfunctional Family Christmas is just what it sounds like, with a family with very poor dispositions opening a series of bad presents.
Liberal Commie Environmental Poem is making fun of environmentalists by “green”-izing A Visit From St. Nicholas. There’s no attention whatsoever to meter, but I suppose that’s part of the intended humor. Magic O’ The Mime presents a performance by a mime magician, which obviously doesn’t amount to much on a CD. We get nothing but the laugh track and some very faint musical accompaniment. 1-900... is seductive / derisive advertisement for a chat hotline.
The Chitmunks is a lame spoof on Alvin and the Chipmunks. Patriotic Poem is another Visit From St. Nicholas knock-off, this one attacking anti-American sentiment, featuring Ronald Reagan in the Santa Claus role. Medley of Carols is another series of skewered Christmas song segments sung by Larry. Thankfully, there are only two. Closing Monologue wraps it all up, leaving me saying, “I can’t believe I listened to the whole thing!”
Yes, there were many times when I contemplated turning off the CD player and tossing this album right back in the case. I kept hoping I would find at least one track thoroughly, genuinely funny. Last year, Stephen Colbert came out with his Christmas special, and while I found elements of that show somewhat distasteful, it was much better than this one. The songs were clever, melodious and mostly only mildly offensive, if at all, and I find it hard to find fault with any of them after listening to this for an hour. I’ll always love Mater the tow truck. But after this, I think I’ll steer clear Larry the Cable Guy in his natural form.
Christmas With the Beach Boys Sure Feels Festive
I love close harmony, as anyone might guess from a glance at my favorite
bands. Simon and Garfunkel, Peter Paul and Mary, the Beatles and Celtic
Thunder are among the groups whose exquisite harmonizing has most
impressed me. But perhaps no band is more synonymous with harmony than
the Beach Boys. While they don’t boast the most contemplative lyrics in
the biz, the attention to sonic detail is impeccable, and listening to
them is generally a joyful experience for me.
I’ve heard four or five of their Christmas songs on the radio, so it didn’t come as a surprise to me that the Beach Boys had a Christmas album. However, my eyes popped a bit when I saw that there were 25 tracks. The album length wasn’t as unwieldy as one would think with so many songs, since so many of them come in at under two minutes. Still, it’s an impressive collection, and one in which almost every song bears the distinct Beach Boys stamp. Additionally, in the liner notes, Anthony DeCurtis includes a warm two-page introduction and comments on the individual tracks, giving lots of interesting history on how these songs came about. That’s the icing on this delectable Christmas cake, sure to fascinate anyone interested in this era of music. He even makes a convincing case for “Christmas comes this time each year” not being one of the dumbest lines in all of seasonal music.
I listened to this directly after the abhorrent Christmastime in Larryland by Larry the Cable Guy. While that album left me feeling cranky, the Beach Boys soon returned my good humor. I’m still smiling.
1. Little Saint Nick - This song from 1963 features the trademark Beach Boys harmony and fits in with their many tunes about super-snazzy cars. In this case, it just happens to be a sled instead. First heard this one by the Muppets; the peppy novelty nature of the song makes it a good fit for the Electric Mayhem. The most famous of the four versions found on this album. “Just a little bobsled, we call it ol' Saint Nick / But she'll walk a tobogan with a four speed stick / She's ol' candy apple red with a ski for a wheel / And when Santa hits the gas, man, just watch her peel.”
2. The Man With All the Toys - A follow-up to Little Saint Nick, this one is goofy, imagining someone stumbling on Santa’s humble workshop. I like the instrumental backing, which reminds me of Mrs. Crandall’s Boardinghouse from the Irish Rovers’ Tales to Warm Your Mind. The “Bop!”s that explode in the background like kernels of microwave popcorn are a tad off-putting, though. “Someone found a lighted house late one night / And he saw through the window a sight: / A big man in a chair / And little tiny men everywhere. / He's the man with all the toys.”
3. Santa's Beard - I had never heard this song before. It’s extremely peppy and full of fantastic harmonies that capture the nervous pre-Christmas excitement of a young child. It’s a sweet and funny song about a boy taking his little brother to see a department store Santa. To his consternation, Little Brother is savvy and knows a fake when he sees one, but Big Brother has an explanation... A really fun song, and probably my favorite on the album. “He said, ‘Is that (that Santa) really Santa Claus, / really really (the real Santa) Santa Claus? / Is that (that Santa) really Santa Claus, really really Santa? / (I hope he doesn't pull Santa's beard...)”
4. Merry Christmas, Baby - This one was also unfamiliar to me. A man who has ruined his relationship through infidelity begs to make amends (“if just for Christmas“). I couldn’t help thinking of Tiger Woods when I heard this one, which has a fifties-ish feel to it, reminding me particularly of Paul Simon‘s peppy Lone Teen Ranger (recorded as Jerry Landis). “I’ve made my mistake but I’m willing to wake up and never mess around anymore.”
5. Christmas Day - This one sounds rather familiar to me, but that might just be because the tune is similar to The Man With All the Toys, though the tone is mellower. A nice song, aside from some weird syntax and a really cheesy organ that gets a solo near the end. “The Christmas spirit grows with each new day / And it's so close but seems so far away / And yet it comes only once a year / And 'fore you know it, it's already here...”
6. Frosty the Snowman - This is one that pops up on the radio now and then, and it’s one of the more enjoyable renditions of the wintertime classic.
7. We Three Kings of Orient Are - The first six tracks are so bouncy, this one is a bit of a shock to the system, as it plods along like a funeral march. It’s lovely, especially the second verse, with its minor tone, close harmony and inclusion of bells; I just kept expecting them to suddenly speed things up. The third verse fluctuates the most in terms of tempo and is almost fast-paced at times, while the woodwinds in the background are reminiscent of birdsong. Much longer than most of the tracks on the album.
8. Blue Christmas - Another slower song, this melancholy number is sung entirely by Brian, which is an oddity for the group. It’s symbolically appropriate; in a group characterized by harmony, a whole song featuring only one vocalist sounds very lonely indeed.
9. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - I always cringe a little when this one comes on the radio, with its irritating little circus riff that comes in at the end of every other line. I get it; Santa’s yearly visit is the Greatest Show on Earth. But boy, does that get on my nerves. I don’t mind the brass band so much, but incorporating Pop! Goes the Weasel kinda grates on me too.
10. White Christmas - A fairly slow-paced song, this is a nice, nostalgic-sounding version, particularly with the harp and flutes in the background.
11. I'll Be Home for Christmas - Very much in keeping with the previous track in terms of tone, pace and instrumentation, to the point that the two might have worked as a medley.
12. Auld Lang Syne - A totally a cappella rendition of the Robert Burns New Year’s greeting. Dennis comes in with a cheery Christmas greeting, complete with a slight slip of the tongue. The singing is flawless, however.
13. Little Saint Nick - Pretty much the same as the first track, but including some very festive-sounding glockenspiel and sleigh bells (both of which, incidentally, I played in my high school orchestra).
14. Auld Lang Syne - Another version of track 12, with more drawn-out notes and no talking.
15. Little Saint Nick - A very different version of the first track. It’s weird to hear this one, which, as the liner notes indicate, is sung over the track of the song Drive-In. The suggestion is that the Beach Boys were just goofing around when they recorded this one, and that seems likely to me. Doesn’t sound like something really intended for public release. But it’s amusing to hear.
16. Child of Winter (Christmas Song) - A fun track that recounts all the warm feelings Christmas brings about. Peppy, with instruments like sleigh bells and a kazoo, and much of the song is taken up with a rendition of Here Comes Santa Claus. DeCurtis mentions that this came out during a fairly lengthy stretch between albums in the 1970s and that most fans missed it because the single was released only two days before Christmas, leading many stores to snub it altogether. What a shame! “A child of Christmas / A child of snow / A wonderful feeling / Underneath the mistletoe / And may your Christmas / Last all year / With laughter of children / Peace and cheer.”
17. Santa's Got an Airplane - This previously unreleased track is along the same lines as Little Saint Nick, as it’s an ode to Santa’s mode of transportation, only this time it’s a plane instead of a souped-up sled. This one gave me a bit of vertigo as the sound toward the end kept traveling from one headphone to the other, but otherwise I like it. The low-voiced “loop de loop flip flop”s are especially fun.
18. Winter Symphony - This previously unreleased song reminds me a lot of Old-Fashioned Love Song melodically. A nice series of wintry images augmented by the distinctive piccolo trumpet and French horn, which not only provide backing but also get an extended instrumental portion to themselves. “Winter symphony / Snowflake fantasy / Warms my heart like a tropic sea...”
19. (I Saw Santa) Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - Also previously unreleased, this song begins with a conversation in verse by Matt and Adam, the young children of Alan Jardine, and it continues to thread its way through the song. Six other Beach Boy kids chime in with them on the backing vocals on this cute song inspired by I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. This kid seems to be wise to just who is under that Santa suit. A very sweet, family-flavored recording, though the ending feels a bit inconclusive. “I saw Momma kissin’ Santa ’neath the mistletoe / Yeah, and he looked like someone I thought you oughtta know.”
20. Melekalikimaka - This previously unreleased song isn’t a cover of the Bing Crosby tune like I thought it would be; rather, it’s an original number that incorporates sleigh bells and lots of appealingly goofy lyrics like “Melekalikimaka / is ‘merry Christmas’ in Hawaii talk-a” from these guys who so love singing about surfing. A reworked version of Kona Coast. “I wanna spend Christmas where I dig it the most, in Hawaii...”
21. Bells of Christmas - Another previously unreleased track, Alan has lead vocals on this song that is a Christmas version of Belles of Paris. It’s mostly him, with some backing vocals from the rest of the band, up until the end, when the harmonizing takes over. Naturally, it features bells prominently and fits in rather well with such songs as Snoopy’s Christmas and Bells Over Belfast. The most reverent-sounding track since We Three Kings. “The bells of Christmas go ring-a-ling-ling / They toll for the savior and the peace he'll bring / And little children everywhere are caroling / 'Cause the presence of the Lord makes their spirits sing.”
22. Morning Christmas - Yet another previously unreleased track, the last of them on the album, and the last of the actual songs. A very slow, solemn-sounding song backed by piano, with a swifter orchestral portion that closes out the track. Some odd, very distinctive-sounding instrumentals that odd to the somber tone. “Holy holy / Halo glowing / Candle burning / Christmas evening...”
23. Toy Drive Public Service Announcement - It’s Little Saint Nick yet again, but in disguise, with the Beach Boys delivering a PSA to the tune of their most famous Christmas song encouraging people to drop off their toys for needy youngsters at Crystal Ship record stores. It’s a worthy cause, but it makes me giggle to hear these new lyrics, which sound pretty silly. “Ooooh, merry Christmas, children! (Bring your toys to Crystal Ship...)”
24. Dennis Wilson Christmas Message - Just a short spoken toy drive message over a bit of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.
25. Brian Wilson Christmas Interview - There’s no singing on this track; it’s just Brian Wilson being interviewed about the Beach Boys’ Christmas album in 1964. He comes across as pretty shy, but he provides some interesting insights, such as the fact that one side of the album was supposed to reflect their signature sound and the other, with its traditional tunes, was meant more for older listeners.
Young or old, if you’ve ever turned up the volume when the Beach Boys came on the radio, you’ve gotta check out this extensive collection of Christmas music. I had no idea how many holiday songs they recorded, and some of the best were never released, so even if you’re more well-versed than me in their music, you’re likely to find something new here too. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to find this album, but now that I have, I’m happy to list Christmas With the Beach Boys among my favorites.
I’ve heard four or five of their Christmas songs on the radio, so it didn’t come as a surprise to me that the Beach Boys had a Christmas album. However, my eyes popped a bit when I saw that there were 25 tracks. The album length wasn’t as unwieldy as one would think with so many songs, since so many of them come in at under two minutes. Still, it’s an impressive collection, and one in which almost every song bears the distinct Beach Boys stamp. Additionally, in the liner notes, Anthony DeCurtis includes a warm two-page introduction and comments on the individual tracks, giving lots of interesting history on how these songs came about. That’s the icing on this delectable Christmas cake, sure to fascinate anyone interested in this era of music. He even makes a convincing case for “Christmas comes this time each year” not being one of the dumbest lines in all of seasonal music.
I listened to this directly after the abhorrent Christmastime in Larryland by Larry the Cable Guy. While that album left me feeling cranky, the Beach Boys soon returned my good humor. I’m still smiling.
1. Little Saint Nick - This song from 1963 features the trademark Beach Boys harmony and fits in with their many tunes about super-snazzy cars. In this case, it just happens to be a sled instead. First heard this one by the Muppets; the peppy novelty nature of the song makes it a good fit for the Electric Mayhem. The most famous of the four versions found on this album. “Just a little bobsled, we call it ol' Saint Nick / But she'll walk a tobogan with a four speed stick / She's ol' candy apple red with a ski for a wheel / And when Santa hits the gas, man, just watch her peel.”
2. The Man With All the Toys - A follow-up to Little Saint Nick, this one is goofy, imagining someone stumbling on Santa’s humble workshop. I like the instrumental backing, which reminds me of Mrs. Crandall’s Boardinghouse from the Irish Rovers’ Tales to Warm Your Mind. The “Bop!”s that explode in the background like kernels of microwave popcorn are a tad off-putting, though. “Someone found a lighted house late one night / And he saw through the window a sight: / A big man in a chair / And little tiny men everywhere. / He's the man with all the toys.”
3. Santa's Beard - I had never heard this song before. It’s extremely peppy and full of fantastic harmonies that capture the nervous pre-Christmas excitement of a young child. It’s a sweet and funny song about a boy taking his little brother to see a department store Santa. To his consternation, Little Brother is savvy and knows a fake when he sees one, but Big Brother has an explanation... A really fun song, and probably my favorite on the album. “He said, ‘Is that (that Santa) really Santa Claus, / really really (the real Santa) Santa Claus? / Is that (that Santa) really Santa Claus, really really Santa? / (I hope he doesn't pull Santa's beard...)”
4. Merry Christmas, Baby - This one was also unfamiliar to me. A man who has ruined his relationship through infidelity begs to make amends (“if just for Christmas“). I couldn’t help thinking of Tiger Woods when I heard this one, which has a fifties-ish feel to it, reminding me particularly of Paul Simon‘s peppy Lone Teen Ranger (recorded as Jerry Landis). “I’ve made my mistake but I’m willing to wake up and never mess around anymore.”
5. Christmas Day - This one sounds rather familiar to me, but that might just be because the tune is similar to The Man With All the Toys, though the tone is mellower. A nice song, aside from some weird syntax and a really cheesy organ that gets a solo near the end. “The Christmas spirit grows with each new day / And it's so close but seems so far away / And yet it comes only once a year / And 'fore you know it, it's already here...”
6. Frosty the Snowman - This is one that pops up on the radio now and then, and it’s one of the more enjoyable renditions of the wintertime classic.
7. We Three Kings of Orient Are - The first six tracks are so bouncy, this one is a bit of a shock to the system, as it plods along like a funeral march. It’s lovely, especially the second verse, with its minor tone, close harmony and inclusion of bells; I just kept expecting them to suddenly speed things up. The third verse fluctuates the most in terms of tempo and is almost fast-paced at times, while the woodwinds in the background are reminiscent of birdsong. Much longer than most of the tracks on the album.
8. Blue Christmas - Another slower song, this melancholy number is sung entirely by Brian, which is an oddity for the group. It’s symbolically appropriate; in a group characterized by harmony, a whole song featuring only one vocalist sounds very lonely indeed.
9. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town - I always cringe a little when this one comes on the radio, with its irritating little circus riff that comes in at the end of every other line. I get it; Santa’s yearly visit is the Greatest Show on Earth. But boy, does that get on my nerves. I don’t mind the brass band so much, but incorporating Pop! Goes the Weasel kinda grates on me too.
10. White Christmas - A fairly slow-paced song, this is a nice, nostalgic-sounding version, particularly with the harp and flutes in the background.
11. I'll Be Home for Christmas - Very much in keeping with the previous track in terms of tone, pace and instrumentation, to the point that the two might have worked as a medley.
12. Auld Lang Syne - A totally a cappella rendition of the Robert Burns New Year’s greeting. Dennis comes in with a cheery Christmas greeting, complete with a slight slip of the tongue. The singing is flawless, however.
13. Little Saint Nick - Pretty much the same as the first track, but including some very festive-sounding glockenspiel and sleigh bells (both of which, incidentally, I played in my high school orchestra).
14. Auld Lang Syne - Another version of track 12, with more drawn-out notes and no talking.
15. Little Saint Nick - A very different version of the first track. It’s weird to hear this one, which, as the liner notes indicate, is sung over the track of the song Drive-In. The suggestion is that the Beach Boys were just goofing around when they recorded this one, and that seems likely to me. Doesn’t sound like something really intended for public release. But it’s amusing to hear.
16. Child of Winter (Christmas Song) - A fun track that recounts all the warm feelings Christmas brings about. Peppy, with instruments like sleigh bells and a kazoo, and much of the song is taken up with a rendition of Here Comes Santa Claus. DeCurtis mentions that this came out during a fairly lengthy stretch between albums in the 1970s and that most fans missed it because the single was released only two days before Christmas, leading many stores to snub it altogether. What a shame! “A child of Christmas / A child of snow / A wonderful feeling / Underneath the mistletoe / And may your Christmas / Last all year / With laughter of children / Peace and cheer.”
17. Santa's Got an Airplane - This previously unreleased track is along the same lines as Little Saint Nick, as it’s an ode to Santa’s mode of transportation, only this time it’s a plane instead of a souped-up sled. This one gave me a bit of vertigo as the sound toward the end kept traveling from one headphone to the other, but otherwise I like it. The low-voiced “loop de loop flip flop”s are especially fun.
18. Winter Symphony - This previously unreleased song reminds me a lot of Old-Fashioned Love Song melodically. A nice series of wintry images augmented by the distinctive piccolo trumpet and French horn, which not only provide backing but also get an extended instrumental portion to themselves. “Winter symphony / Snowflake fantasy / Warms my heart like a tropic sea...”
19. (I Saw Santa) Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - Also previously unreleased, this song begins with a conversation in verse by Matt and Adam, the young children of Alan Jardine, and it continues to thread its way through the song. Six other Beach Boy kids chime in with them on the backing vocals on this cute song inspired by I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. This kid seems to be wise to just who is under that Santa suit. A very sweet, family-flavored recording, though the ending feels a bit inconclusive. “I saw Momma kissin’ Santa ’neath the mistletoe / Yeah, and he looked like someone I thought you oughtta know.”
20. Melekalikimaka - This previously unreleased song isn’t a cover of the Bing Crosby tune like I thought it would be; rather, it’s an original number that incorporates sleigh bells and lots of appealingly goofy lyrics like “Melekalikimaka / is ‘merry Christmas’ in Hawaii talk-a” from these guys who so love singing about surfing. A reworked version of Kona Coast. “I wanna spend Christmas where I dig it the most, in Hawaii...”
21. Bells of Christmas - Another previously unreleased track, Alan has lead vocals on this song that is a Christmas version of Belles of Paris. It’s mostly him, with some backing vocals from the rest of the band, up until the end, when the harmonizing takes over. Naturally, it features bells prominently and fits in rather well with such songs as Snoopy’s Christmas and Bells Over Belfast. The most reverent-sounding track since We Three Kings. “The bells of Christmas go ring-a-ling-ling / They toll for the savior and the peace he'll bring / And little children everywhere are caroling / 'Cause the presence of the Lord makes their spirits sing.”
22. Morning Christmas - Yet another previously unreleased track, the last of them on the album, and the last of the actual songs. A very slow, solemn-sounding song backed by piano, with a swifter orchestral portion that closes out the track. Some odd, very distinctive-sounding instrumentals that odd to the somber tone. “Holy holy / Halo glowing / Candle burning / Christmas evening...”
23. Toy Drive Public Service Announcement - It’s Little Saint Nick yet again, but in disguise, with the Beach Boys delivering a PSA to the tune of their most famous Christmas song encouraging people to drop off their toys for needy youngsters at Crystal Ship record stores. It’s a worthy cause, but it makes me giggle to hear these new lyrics, which sound pretty silly. “Ooooh, merry Christmas, children! (Bring your toys to Crystal Ship...)”
24. Dennis Wilson Christmas Message - Just a short spoken toy drive message over a bit of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.
25. Brian Wilson Christmas Interview - There’s no singing on this track; it’s just Brian Wilson being interviewed about the Beach Boys’ Christmas album in 1964. He comes across as pretty shy, but he provides some interesting insights, such as the fact that one side of the album was supposed to reflect their signature sound and the other, with its traditional tunes, was meant more for older listeners.
Young or old, if you’ve ever turned up the volume when the Beach Boys came on the radio, you’ve gotta check out this extensive collection of Christmas music. I had no idea how many holiday songs they recorded, and some of the best were never released, so even if you’re more well-versed than me in their music, you’re likely to find something new here too. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to find this album, but now that I have, I’m happy to list Christmas With the Beach Boys among my favorites.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wintertime Is Grand Fun For Kanga and Roo Too
Kanga and Roo are transplants to the Hundred Acre Wood, having arrived
from Australia, where the weather is warm enough that implements such as
scarves and knit caps are rarely needed. But they seem to have adjusted
quickly to their new habitat, at least according to the 1993 ornament
that features Mama and joey in the midst of a lengthy winter hike.
Kanga stands tall and confident in this ornament. She’s about four inches tall, and she measures about three inches from the tip of her tail to the front of her right foot, which is stepping ahead. In each hand, Kanga clutches a long, knobbly brown stick, much like the sticks employed by Winnie the Pooh as ski poles in his ornament. While Pooh is going downhill, Kanga is headed cross-country, a considerably safer activity for someone with a child in tow.
Roo peeks out of Kanga’s pouch, his blue shirt plainly visible, along with his shiny black nose and eyes and the pink interior of his mouth. These match his mother’s fairly well, except that her eyes have lashes and white pinpricks. I think the spots turned out a little larger than intended; they fill her eyes almost to the point of overwhelming the black. Still, it’s a good likeness, and the creamy, light chocolaty shade of brown used for the fur is perfect.
Kanga and Roo also have matching ears with pale pink interiors, and Kanga’s midsection above her pouch is the same shade of pink. She wears a yellow scarf and a blue hat with a white pom-pom, and atop the hat is the gold-colored loop for the ornament hook. Like most of the rest of the figures in this series, she looks energetic as she swings her arms in time to her footsteps. Of course, one has to imagine that motion; Kanga doesn’t actually move, nor can Roo be detached from his mother. They are a package deal.
This ornament is a bit on the tall side, but it usually hangs off the branch with no trouble, sometimes tilting just a bit. Similarly, it stands flat on a table or similar surface, but it isn’t too hard to make it topple, as I did while writing this review. Under normal circumstances, however, this is a sturdy ornament, and the paint on mine is just as vibrant as it was 15 years ago.
These are two characters who tend to be underrepresented in Pooh paraphernalia, particularly Kanga. If you’re a real fan of the whole gang, getting ahold of this ornament will ensure that your collection includes the Australian contingent, and the only major female character in the Hundred-Acre Wood. Don’t let this dynamic duo stay in the shadows, keeping their distance from the rest of the Pooh pals; hang them on the tree for all to see.
Kanga stands tall and confident in this ornament. She’s about four inches tall, and she measures about three inches from the tip of her tail to the front of her right foot, which is stepping ahead. In each hand, Kanga clutches a long, knobbly brown stick, much like the sticks employed by Winnie the Pooh as ski poles in his ornament. While Pooh is going downhill, Kanga is headed cross-country, a considerably safer activity for someone with a child in tow.
Roo peeks out of Kanga’s pouch, his blue shirt plainly visible, along with his shiny black nose and eyes and the pink interior of his mouth. These match his mother’s fairly well, except that her eyes have lashes and white pinpricks. I think the spots turned out a little larger than intended; they fill her eyes almost to the point of overwhelming the black. Still, it’s a good likeness, and the creamy, light chocolaty shade of brown used for the fur is perfect.
Kanga and Roo also have matching ears with pale pink interiors, and Kanga’s midsection above her pouch is the same shade of pink. She wears a yellow scarf and a blue hat with a white pom-pom, and atop the hat is the gold-colored loop for the ornament hook. Like most of the rest of the figures in this series, she looks energetic as she swings her arms in time to her footsteps. Of course, one has to imagine that motion; Kanga doesn’t actually move, nor can Roo be detached from his mother. They are a package deal.
This ornament is a bit on the tall side, but it usually hangs off the branch with no trouble, sometimes tilting just a bit. Similarly, it stands flat on a table or similar surface, but it isn’t too hard to make it topple, as I did while writing this review. Under normal circumstances, however, this is a sturdy ornament, and the paint on mine is just as vibrant as it was 15 years ago.
These are two characters who tend to be underrepresented in Pooh paraphernalia, particularly Kanga. If you’re a real fan of the whole gang, getting ahold of this ornament will ensure that your collection includes the Australian contingent, and the only major female character in the Hundred-Acre Wood. Don’t let this dynamic duo stay in the shadows, keeping their distance from the rest of the Pooh pals; hang them on the tree for all to see.
Snoopy Directs the Peanuts Gang in Ringing In Christmas
When I was little, I attended a church with a bell choir. I always loved
listening to their anthems, and when we switched churches, I missed
those melodious performances. Both of my parents played the bells; I
have a particularly vivid recollection of them playing Now the Green Blade Rises.
Over the years, my parents have participated in several choirs, and Mom
has led the children’s choir on several occasions. So when I saw
Ringing In Christmas, a 2007 ornament in which Snoopy directs a bell
choir containing Linus, Sally, Peppermint Patty, Charlie Brown and Lucy,
it seemed a very fitting gift for Mom.
This keepsake is labeled as a “Christmas ornament,” but I wouldn’t recommend trying to hang it on the tree. There is a swooping hanger apparently available for this purpose, but it’s an extremely heavy ornament, and it really does seem to be built to lie flat. During last year’s Christmas season, we kept it on the piano; I expect that we’ll do the same this year, finding a spot that is out of reach for inquisitive cats but allowing easy enough access so that we can wind up the ornament when we want to, because that’s when the fun really begins.
Ringing In Christmas comes in an attractive cream-colored box, the back of which contains a verse suitable for the occasion: “Early Christmas morning, / You can hear the choir bells ring, / As Snoopy leads the carol / ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.’ / The Peanuts gang has practiced / So their timing is just right / And their bells can tell the story / Of that blessed Christmas night.” Filling the box are two pieces of molded plastic, into which the Peanuts ornament fits.
The ornament is set up like an ornate choir loft. The loft, which stands four and a half inches tall and is nearly three inches deep and wide, is white with gold accents. Behind the bell players is a latticed archway. They stand on a red floor, with Snoopy, Sally and Linus on one level and the other three a step above them. Tiny, smiling Woodstock sits perched in the middle of a wreath that hangs above the rest, and he too carries a bell, though it does not move as the others do when activated.
Snoopy, about half the size of the children he conducts, stands with his back to the audience. Along with everyone else in the group, he wears a thin, painted-on smile. His eyes are small curved lines, while the children have dots for eyes. Each of them faces the congregation holding a golden bell in each hand. The bells match the accents on their green robes; it’s just as well that they aren’t silver, or they might wind up looking like a bunch of shifty Slytherins.
Although the presence of the choir robes means that none of the kids can wear their signature garb, the differences in their faces are distinct enough. Patty is freckly, with a shock of reddish hair. Charlie is essentially bald, with just a little curlicue of hair on his forehead. Lucy’s black hair sits in his typical position, and around her eyes are lines, perhaps from stress. Linus has the same lines, so I suspect that the Van Pelts have been picking on each other a bit. His hair is the usual mess of stringy strands, while Sally’s is thick and yellow, with that goofy hornlike formation and what looks like a bow on the top of her head. The figures are about an inch and a half tall and are firmly attached to the loft floor.
This is a beautiful decoration just to look at, completely stationary. But if you wind the golden key at the back, you will find that the bells in each hand will chime (or, rather, the arms will move in order to create the illusion of bells playing) as Snoopy sways back and forth to conduct. As indicated by the verse, the tune is Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, a tune that played a prominent role in two different Peanuts Christmas specials. The music really does sound like bells ringing, and the effect is lovely. The sound is as high-quality as the visual elements, and there are no batteries required.
Naturally, such an elaborate ornament is a bit on the pricey side. It’ll probably cost you upwards of $40 to get your hands on this one, but if you’re a fan of Peanuts or bells, I heartily recommend it. It’s just as neat as the one ornament I’m keenest to add to my Pooh collection: Pooh Bells, from the previous year, which features a crank that activates the audio-visual spectacle of the characters playing Carol of the Bells. Apparently bells are a particularly useful ingredient in the crafting of an exceptional Christmas ornament. Snoopy seems like such a natural up there, perhaps he should set aside his writing for a while and focus all of his energy on being a choirmaster. There’s so much to love about Ringing In Christmas, I wish they would do an encore!
This keepsake is labeled as a “Christmas ornament,” but I wouldn’t recommend trying to hang it on the tree. There is a swooping hanger apparently available for this purpose, but it’s an extremely heavy ornament, and it really does seem to be built to lie flat. During last year’s Christmas season, we kept it on the piano; I expect that we’ll do the same this year, finding a spot that is out of reach for inquisitive cats but allowing easy enough access so that we can wind up the ornament when we want to, because that’s when the fun really begins.
Ringing In Christmas comes in an attractive cream-colored box, the back of which contains a verse suitable for the occasion: “Early Christmas morning, / You can hear the choir bells ring, / As Snoopy leads the carol / ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.’ / The Peanuts gang has practiced / So their timing is just right / And their bells can tell the story / Of that blessed Christmas night.” Filling the box are two pieces of molded plastic, into which the Peanuts ornament fits.
The ornament is set up like an ornate choir loft. The loft, which stands four and a half inches tall and is nearly three inches deep and wide, is white with gold accents. Behind the bell players is a latticed archway. They stand on a red floor, with Snoopy, Sally and Linus on one level and the other three a step above them. Tiny, smiling Woodstock sits perched in the middle of a wreath that hangs above the rest, and he too carries a bell, though it does not move as the others do when activated.
Snoopy, about half the size of the children he conducts, stands with his back to the audience. Along with everyone else in the group, he wears a thin, painted-on smile. His eyes are small curved lines, while the children have dots for eyes. Each of them faces the congregation holding a golden bell in each hand. The bells match the accents on their green robes; it’s just as well that they aren’t silver, or they might wind up looking like a bunch of shifty Slytherins.
Although the presence of the choir robes means that none of the kids can wear their signature garb, the differences in their faces are distinct enough. Patty is freckly, with a shock of reddish hair. Charlie is essentially bald, with just a little curlicue of hair on his forehead. Lucy’s black hair sits in his typical position, and around her eyes are lines, perhaps from stress. Linus has the same lines, so I suspect that the Van Pelts have been picking on each other a bit. His hair is the usual mess of stringy strands, while Sally’s is thick and yellow, with that goofy hornlike formation and what looks like a bow on the top of her head. The figures are about an inch and a half tall and are firmly attached to the loft floor.
This is a beautiful decoration just to look at, completely stationary. But if you wind the golden key at the back, you will find that the bells in each hand will chime (or, rather, the arms will move in order to create the illusion of bells playing) as Snoopy sways back and forth to conduct. As indicated by the verse, the tune is Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, a tune that played a prominent role in two different Peanuts Christmas specials. The music really does sound like bells ringing, and the effect is lovely. The sound is as high-quality as the visual elements, and there are no batteries required.
Naturally, such an elaborate ornament is a bit on the pricey side. It’ll probably cost you upwards of $40 to get your hands on this one, but if you’re a fan of Peanuts or bells, I heartily recommend it. It’s just as neat as the one ornament I’m keenest to add to my Pooh collection: Pooh Bells, from the previous year, which features a crank that activates the audio-visual spectacle of the characters playing Carol of the Bells. Apparently bells are a particularly useful ingredient in the crafting of an exceptional Christmas ornament. Snoopy seems like such a natural up there, perhaps he should set aside his writing for a while and focus all of his energy on being a choirmaster. There’s so much to love about Ringing In Christmas, I wish they would do an encore!
Pooh's Sticky Situation Is Enjoyable For Us
For many years, the Disney version of Winnie the Pooh has been more
prominent in the mainstream than the original A. A. Milne / Ernest
Shepard version. Nonetheless, Disney does do a good job of reminding us
of Pooh’s storybook origins. Most Pooh movies include a
sophisticated-sounding narrator interacting with a large book containing
all of the Hundred-Acre Wood adventures, and for the past 12 years,
Hallmark has released ornaments that commemorate particularly notable
book moments.
A Sticky Situation, the seventh ornament in the series, came out in 2004. The ornament is a dark turquoise book with gold ridges between the front and back cover to indicate pages. There aren’t really pages inside, though; it’s a three-dimensional representation of a laughing Pooh stuck inside the Honey Tree, surrounded by his favorite sweet substance. The hinge on the front cover is what makes this ornament so fun; without being able to look inside, it’s simply a flat two and a quarter inch by one and three quarter inch book, three quarters of an inch thick, with a sticker along the binding and on the cover.
The binding reads "2004" and shows a picture of Pooh floundering in Rabbit’s doorway, looking quite troubled. The cover says “Winnie the Pooh” and “A Sticky Situation” and, in an oval between the two phrases, shows Christopher Robin tugging hard on Pooh’s arms, attempting to free him from his prison. If you peek inside, the flip side of the cover shows Pooh soaring into the air, toward the trees. The red text explains, “Pooh’s a bear of little brain and rather grandish tummy. Free at last from Rabbit door he headed for more honey!” While I suspect that the word “Rabbit’s” would have made more sense here, the verse is a cute summation of that story.
This book stands nicely on flat surfaces and also hangs easily. Usually the cover will fly open so that what you see on the tree is Pooh eating, but that’s the most interesting part of the ornament anyway. Pooh is a part of all of the books in this series; some include other characters as well, particularly Piglet. All follow the same basic format. This year’s, A Snack for Pooh, is a throwback to the same story, focusing not on Pooh’s liberation but on his actual tenure as a bear stuck in Rabbit’s door. I find its verse especially cute: “Pooh enjoys his honey snack so much he asks for more, till there’s a little too much Pooh... or much too little door.”
A Sticky Situation comes with a Memory Card, which shows the ornament on the front and has space on the back for the names of the gift giver and recipient and a holiday memory. There are only five lines of an inch and three quarters, but if you use tiny letters, you should be able to capture a memory or two here. As I suggested with the Literary Ace Snoopy ornament, if you have several ornaments like these, perhaps you should pull them from the boxes and put them in an album or keepsake box so you can look at them all at once.
Hallmark has created dozens of ornaments featuring Winnie the Pooh and his friends. Someday, if I hit it rich, I’d love to buy them all. But right now, I’m quite content with this representation of the Pooh book ornaments, and considering where Pooh ends up in this one, it seems extremely appropriate to hang A Sticky Situation on a tree.
A Sticky Situation, the seventh ornament in the series, came out in 2004. The ornament is a dark turquoise book with gold ridges between the front and back cover to indicate pages. There aren’t really pages inside, though; it’s a three-dimensional representation of a laughing Pooh stuck inside the Honey Tree, surrounded by his favorite sweet substance. The hinge on the front cover is what makes this ornament so fun; without being able to look inside, it’s simply a flat two and a quarter inch by one and three quarter inch book, three quarters of an inch thick, with a sticker along the binding and on the cover.
The binding reads "2004" and shows a picture of Pooh floundering in Rabbit’s doorway, looking quite troubled. The cover says “Winnie the Pooh” and “A Sticky Situation” and, in an oval between the two phrases, shows Christopher Robin tugging hard on Pooh’s arms, attempting to free him from his prison. If you peek inside, the flip side of the cover shows Pooh soaring into the air, toward the trees. The red text explains, “Pooh’s a bear of little brain and rather grandish tummy. Free at last from Rabbit door he headed for more honey!” While I suspect that the word “Rabbit’s” would have made more sense here, the verse is a cute summation of that story.
This book stands nicely on flat surfaces and also hangs easily. Usually the cover will fly open so that what you see on the tree is Pooh eating, but that’s the most interesting part of the ornament anyway. Pooh is a part of all of the books in this series; some include other characters as well, particularly Piglet. All follow the same basic format. This year’s, A Snack for Pooh, is a throwback to the same story, focusing not on Pooh’s liberation but on his actual tenure as a bear stuck in Rabbit’s door. I find its verse especially cute: “Pooh enjoys his honey snack so much he asks for more, till there’s a little too much Pooh... or much too little door.”
A Sticky Situation comes with a Memory Card, which shows the ornament on the front and has space on the back for the names of the gift giver and recipient and a holiday memory. There are only five lines of an inch and three quarters, but if you use tiny letters, you should be able to capture a memory or two here. As I suggested with the Literary Ace Snoopy ornament, if you have several ornaments like these, perhaps you should pull them from the boxes and put them in an album or keepsake box so you can look at them all at once.
Hallmark has created dozens of ornaments featuring Winnie the Pooh and his friends. Someday, if I hit it rich, I’d love to buy them all. But right now, I’m quite content with this representation of the Pooh book ornaments, and considering where Pooh ends up in this one, it seems extremely appropriate to hang A Sticky Situation on a tree.
Owl Is Ornery But Festive Nonetheless
In my collection of Winnie the Pooh Hallmark ornaments from 1993, most
of the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood are engaged in fairly
strenuous activities. Pooh, Kanga and Roo are skiing and Rabbit is
snowshoeing. Eeyore, who I don’t have, is headed down the hill on a
sled. But Owl, that self-important bird who loves to hear himself talk,
has a much different plan for enjoying his winter. Always a solitary
creature, we see less of him than most of his fellow woodlanders, and it
seems that in this case he has opted to keep away from his friends’
festivities, or at least to merely observe rather than participate.
I imagine Owl standing in his house, perhaps at the window, making condescending remarks about the frivolity occurring in the great snowy outdoors. But he could also be in the snow himself, perhaps standing on a boulder and offering commentary on the technique of his friends. His wings are folded across his chest in a gesture that says both “I’m cold!” and “I disapprove!”
His arched eyebrows seem to confirm the latter interpretation, while the former is supported by his red knit cap (topped with a white ball of fluff with a loop for the ornament hook in front) and his green scarf. The biggest tip-off that he is not a fan of this weather comes in the form of the object attached to his midsection. Some white string (plastic to us) ties a salmon-colored water bottle to Owl’s front, making his a most sedentary pursuit. He simply wants to stay warm.
Owl is a little less involved than the other ornaments in this group, but not by much, and the color and detail on him is wonderful. Most of his feathers are a rich, chocolaty brown, as are his feet, while his lower section boasts feathers the same shade of yellow as Rabbit’s fur, a fitting similarity since those are the two most authoritarian figures in the Wood. Owl’s hooked beak is a honey-colored shade of orange, and he has bags under his sharp little eyes. He looks a mite cross, like he woke up on the Grinchy side of the bed this morning.
Owl is nearly four inches tall and about two inches wide. He sits on flat surfaces and hangs well on the tree, though I wonder whether he might hang better if the loop were on the top instead of the front of the cap. Because Owl is so inactive, the ornament isn’t quite as dynamic as the others in the series, and the lack of extra features is more missed. Since talking is what Owl does best, a little rambling sound clip of the loquacious bird would serve this ornament well. However, without it, this is still a very nice ornament, and one that really can be displayed at any time of the year.
I imagine Owl standing in his house, perhaps at the window, making condescending remarks about the frivolity occurring in the great snowy outdoors. But he could also be in the snow himself, perhaps standing on a boulder and offering commentary on the technique of his friends. His wings are folded across his chest in a gesture that says both “I’m cold!” and “I disapprove!”
His arched eyebrows seem to confirm the latter interpretation, while the former is supported by his red knit cap (topped with a white ball of fluff with a loop for the ornament hook in front) and his green scarf. The biggest tip-off that he is not a fan of this weather comes in the form of the object attached to his midsection. Some white string (plastic to us) ties a salmon-colored water bottle to Owl’s front, making his a most sedentary pursuit. He simply wants to stay warm.
Owl is a little less involved than the other ornaments in this group, but not by much, and the color and detail on him is wonderful. Most of his feathers are a rich, chocolaty brown, as are his feet, while his lower section boasts feathers the same shade of yellow as Rabbit’s fur, a fitting similarity since those are the two most authoritarian figures in the Wood. Owl’s hooked beak is a honey-colored shade of orange, and he has bags under his sharp little eyes. He looks a mite cross, like he woke up on the Grinchy side of the bed this morning.
Owl is nearly four inches tall and about two inches wide. He sits on flat surfaces and hangs well on the tree, though I wonder whether he might hang better if the loop were on the top instead of the front of the cap. Because Owl is so inactive, the ornament isn’t quite as dynamic as the others in the series, and the lack of extra features is more missed. Since talking is what Owl does best, a little rambling sound clip of the loquacious bird would serve this ornament well. However, without it, this is still a very nice ornament, and one that really can be displayed at any time of the year.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Snowshoeing Rabbit Is Rarin' to Go
Every year, I love perusing the ornaments in Hallmark and admiring most
of them, particularly those dealing with Peanuts or Disney. Winnie the
Pooh is a particular point of interest. Most years, there are several
adorable Pooh ornaments. But for fans of the tubby little cubby and his
friends, I’m not sure there’s ever been as great a year for ornaments as
1993 - or maybe that‘s just the way it seemed to me because that year, I
received almost every Pooh ornament that Hallmark made.
In 1993, Hallmark created a series of ornaments featuring Pooh and several other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood carousing in winter revelry using what look to be homemade implements. This one is Rabbit, who is dashing through the snow, off, no doubt, on some important enterprise. If all the ornaments in this particular series were lined up as a parade of figures, I would imagine go-getter Rabbit in the front, cheerfully barking out instructions to everyone else.
While the Pooh ornament is on skis, Rabbit wears snowshoes, though they look suspiciously like pans. There are no straps holding Rabbit’s feet in, so I’m not quite sure how they’re staying put, but it doesn’t seem to be a problem for him, nor does he mind using his pans in such an unconventional way. I presume, of course, that he isn’t planning to use them for cooking; I can’t imagine someone as fastidious as Rabbit agreeing to put food in an object that once contained his foot!
Rabbit’s textured fur is a light buttery yellow, except for his fluffy white tail and the large white patch running up the middle of his front to his face. If Pooh seems a little underdressed with a mere three articles of clothing, Rabbit’s got to be downright freezing in nothing but a red scarf. But he shows no sign of being uncomfortable. Every feature screams enthusiasm and readiness.
His long ears stream behind him, their insides pale pink. His large nose is pink as well; so is the inside of his sculpted mouth, which is in a wide smile. He has fairly bushy black eyebrows and tiny black pupils with tinier white pinpricks set in large white eyes. The left pupil is on the right side of the eye and the right pupil is on the left side, giving him a slightly crazed look. Meanwhile, his arms are both bent at the elbows, with the hands balled into fists. The left foot is on the ground, while the right is behind him at a graceful angle, giving the appearance that he is skating.
Rabbit stands about three inches tall, and it’s about two inches from the front of the left snowshoe to the back of the right snowshoe. He stands pretty well on the left snowshoe as long as he’s in a place where he’s not likely to be jostled. The loop for the hook is between his ears, and as long as you can find a spot with a little space between branches, hanging him up is no problem.
As with Pooh, Rabbit is not interactive, but Hallmark has many Pooh ornaments that are, so if you want lights, sound and motion, buy one of those instead. If you want a fun tribute to this particular character, Rabbit is a wonderful ornament, and the lack of bells and whistles makes him pretty affordable, too; he sells online for under $15. He may be at his happiest while planting in spring and harvesting in fall, but slap some snowshoes on this bunny and boy, can he have a blast in winter too!
In 1993, Hallmark created a series of ornaments featuring Pooh and several other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood carousing in winter revelry using what look to be homemade implements. This one is Rabbit, who is dashing through the snow, off, no doubt, on some important enterprise. If all the ornaments in this particular series were lined up as a parade of figures, I would imagine go-getter Rabbit in the front, cheerfully barking out instructions to everyone else.
While the Pooh ornament is on skis, Rabbit wears snowshoes, though they look suspiciously like pans. There are no straps holding Rabbit’s feet in, so I’m not quite sure how they’re staying put, but it doesn’t seem to be a problem for him, nor does he mind using his pans in such an unconventional way. I presume, of course, that he isn’t planning to use them for cooking; I can’t imagine someone as fastidious as Rabbit agreeing to put food in an object that once contained his foot!
Rabbit’s textured fur is a light buttery yellow, except for his fluffy white tail and the large white patch running up the middle of his front to his face. If Pooh seems a little underdressed with a mere three articles of clothing, Rabbit’s got to be downright freezing in nothing but a red scarf. But he shows no sign of being uncomfortable. Every feature screams enthusiasm and readiness.
His long ears stream behind him, their insides pale pink. His large nose is pink as well; so is the inside of his sculpted mouth, which is in a wide smile. He has fairly bushy black eyebrows and tiny black pupils with tinier white pinpricks set in large white eyes. The left pupil is on the right side of the eye and the right pupil is on the left side, giving him a slightly crazed look. Meanwhile, his arms are both bent at the elbows, with the hands balled into fists. The left foot is on the ground, while the right is behind him at a graceful angle, giving the appearance that he is skating.
Rabbit stands about three inches tall, and it’s about two inches from the front of the left snowshoe to the back of the right snowshoe. He stands pretty well on the left snowshoe as long as he’s in a place where he’s not likely to be jostled. The loop for the hook is between his ears, and as long as you can find a spot with a little space between branches, hanging him up is no problem.
As with Pooh, Rabbit is not interactive, but Hallmark has many Pooh ornaments that are, so if you want lights, sound and motion, buy one of those instead. If you want a fun tribute to this particular character, Rabbit is a wonderful ornament, and the lack of bells and whistles makes him pretty affordable, too; he sells online for under $15. He may be at his happiest while planting in spring and harvesting in fall, but slap some snowshoes on this bunny and boy, can he have a blast in winter too!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Winnie the Pooh is Off For Adventure on Homemade Skis
Over the years, my brothers and I have accumulated a lot of Christmas
ornaments. So many, in fact, that it’s at the point that there are some
big decisions to be made when it comes time to decorate the tree. They
simply won’t all fit anymore. As for me, I have enough Winnie the Pooh
ornaments that I could decorate an entire tree just with residents of
the Hundred-Acre Wood. And I know there are many Pooh ornaments, just
within the past decade, that I don’t have, to say nothing of all
the ones that have been made in years past. There are a lot of Pooh
ornaments floating around out there.
One of my very first Pooh ornaments was Winnie the Pooh from Hallmark’s 1993 Winnie the Pooh collection. My family has always made an effort to celebrate Advent with devotions and Advent calendars, and on each Sunday leading up to Christmas, our Advent activities would conclude with one of my brothers or me searching for a hidden present. In 1993, mine was this ornament.
At first, I didn’t recognize the subject, partly because Pooh’s fur is very textured here, unlike its smooth appearance in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and partly because Pooh and skis seemed an unlikely combination. But Pooh it was, and he was the first in a shower of Pooh-related gifts that year. I’m not usually one to pine for specific presents at Christmas, but I had my heart set on a big plush Pooh, and I got one, along with several ornaments. This intrepid fellow was a messenger, zooming in on his skis to give me a hint of what was to come.
Like most Hallmark ornaments, Pooh is made of hard plastic. His fur is a bright, golden color about halfway between yellow and orange, and as I mentioned, it is finely textured so that it really does look like fur. He wears the same red shirt as always, along with a turquoise scarf and a green knit hat topped with a white ball of fluff, at the top of which is the ring for the hook. His right foot is raised, with the brown ski, which looks homemade from a plank of wood and some rope, standing up straight. His left foot is flat on the ground. In each hand he holds a ski pole, which is simply a knobbly brown stick.
Given the obviously snowy conditions, I might think that Pooh would be chilly with no mittens and no pants, but I guess his fur must be very warm. As always, that warmth extends to his personality. His little black eyes are augmented with tiny white pinpricks that help him look more lively, and hovering just above them are two black eyebrows. His shiny black nose rests atop a round snout, and he has a wide sculpted smile allowing us just a glimpse inside his pink mouth. He looks happy and excited.
While there is nothing interactive about this figure, I really don’t see that as a drawback, since there are so many other Pooh ornaments that do incorporate light, sound or motion. Because he doesn’t have a full flat base at the bottom, Pooh doesn’t stand quite as steadily as many Hallmark ornaments do; nonetheless, the skis provide enough support that he usually will stand with no trouble, and he’s just the right size to hang comfortably from most branches. I would expect that Pooh would be a little unsteadier on his feet in such a situation, but I’m glad that Hallmark has given him the opportunity to ski like a pro!
One of my very first Pooh ornaments was Winnie the Pooh from Hallmark’s 1993 Winnie the Pooh collection. My family has always made an effort to celebrate Advent with devotions and Advent calendars, and on each Sunday leading up to Christmas, our Advent activities would conclude with one of my brothers or me searching for a hidden present. In 1993, mine was this ornament.
At first, I didn’t recognize the subject, partly because Pooh’s fur is very textured here, unlike its smooth appearance in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and partly because Pooh and skis seemed an unlikely combination. But Pooh it was, and he was the first in a shower of Pooh-related gifts that year. I’m not usually one to pine for specific presents at Christmas, but I had my heart set on a big plush Pooh, and I got one, along with several ornaments. This intrepid fellow was a messenger, zooming in on his skis to give me a hint of what was to come.
Like most Hallmark ornaments, Pooh is made of hard plastic. His fur is a bright, golden color about halfway between yellow and orange, and as I mentioned, it is finely textured so that it really does look like fur. He wears the same red shirt as always, along with a turquoise scarf and a green knit hat topped with a white ball of fluff, at the top of which is the ring for the hook. His right foot is raised, with the brown ski, which looks homemade from a plank of wood and some rope, standing up straight. His left foot is flat on the ground. In each hand he holds a ski pole, which is simply a knobbly brown stick.
Given the obviously snowy conditions, I might think that Pooh would be chilly with no mittens and no pants, but I guess his fur must be very warm. As always, that warmth extends to his personality. His little black eyes are augmented with tiny white pinpricks that help him look more lively, and hovering just above them are two black eyebrows. His shiny black nose rests atop a round snout, and he has a wide sculpted smile allowing us just a glimpse inside his pink mouth. He looks happy and excited.
While there is nothing interactive about this figure, I really don’t see that as a drawback, since there are so many other Pooh ornaments that do incorporate light, sound or motion. Because he doesn’t have a full flat base at the bottom, Pooh doesn’t stand quite as steadily as many Hallmark ornaments do; nonetheless, the skis provide enough support that he usually will stand with no trouble, and he’s just the right size to hang comfortably from most branches. I would expect that Pooh would be a little unsteadier on his feet in such a situation, but I’m glad that Hallmark has given him the opportunity to ski like a pro!
Literary Ace Snoopy Types Out a Masterpiece With Woodstock in Tow
I love Snoopy in all of his many guises. But best of all is the Literary
Ace, sitting atop his doghouse with his typewriter, diligently tapping
away on those keys even though he knows full well in the back of his
mind that he’ll soon be getting another rejection slip. I own the book Snoopy’s Guide to the Writing Life,
so I have a good idea of just how frequently and thoroughly Snoopy’s
work has been rejected. But that doesn’t deter him. He’s industrious as
well as creative; one could say that all of his other personas are
outgrowths of his writerly ambitions. This beagle’s daydreams are epic,
and once in a while he takes the time to actually write them down,
though a bit always seems to get lost in the translation.
At my college graduation party, I gave away goodie bags stamped with the image of Snoopy on his typewriter. On my piano, I have a snowglobe with Snoopy hard at work on his next novel. But the beginning of my Snoopy the Writer collection was Hallmark’s Spotlight on Snoopy: Literary Ace ornament, which came out in 2002. Spotlight on Snoopy is a series of ornaments that started in 1998; we only have three, but I’d be tempted to get the rest online sometime. It’s hard to go wrong with Snoopy. But I’m glad to at least have my favorite.
Literary Ace Snoopy comes in a box that is absurdly large in proportion to the ornament itself. While Snoopy doesn’t measure more than two inches in any direction, the box is five inches tall, three and a half inches wide and two and a half inches deep. This leaves room for the large piece of molded plastic in which to place Snoopy when Christmas is over. Still, the size seems slightly misleading, though most Hallmark stores would have had the ornament on display for examination. I usually think of Hallmark boxes as being a deep red color, but Snoopy’s is bright blue, with beige on the front and back. While the front features a picture of the ornament, the back includes a descriptive verse: “Snoopy’s never at a loss / for clever words to write. / His latest novel starts: ‘It was a dark and stormy night.’”
In addition to the ornament, the box contains a “memory card”. This has a picture of the ornament on the front; on the back are “To” and “From” spots, along with several lines under “Holiday Memory 2002”. If the giver were so inclined, he or she could take the card out ahead of time and write a message in this space before returning it to the box. Or the recipient could fill in this portion after Christmas with a memory involving that person from the celebration that just passed or perhaps an explanation of why this ornament was probably chosen for them. There’s not a lot of space, just five lines of an inch and three quarters. But it’s enough room to jot something down, especially for those with small printing or handwriting. If you have a lot of ornaments with memory cards, you might want to put them in a special book or box instead of leaving them with the ornaments; that way, you can peruse them all at the same time.
Snoopy is usually a fairly solitary writer, barring objections from the likes of persnickety Lucy, but in this ornament, he has a friend to supervise his activities. While Snoopy sits with his “hands” poised over the keys, Woodstock perches on his left “foot”. Woodstock is bright yellow and wears a red scarf and green earmuffs. His eyes are tiny flat lines, and he has no mouth. Snoopy is all white, with the exception of his eyes, which, like Woodstock’s, look more like eyebrows; his round nose; and the outer portion of his floppy ears. There’s also a little black spot at the base of his tail, and though it isn’t easily visible when you look at him head-on, he is smiling. He wears a purple sweater, a green scarf and, just to make the ornament extra-Christmassy, a red Santa hat trimmed with white.
The typewriter is black with black keys that don’t look as though they actually have numbers and letters on them, though it’s difficult to see. On either side is a silver knob, and the paper is halfway through the mechanism. It’s also blank, which seems a bit odd; I would think that “It was a dark and stormy night” would be there for all the world to see, but perhaps they were afraid of water damage. The typewriter is entirely non-functional, but that’s probably for the best; I could see the piece of paper easily getting lost if it could be maneuvered back and forth.
While my Captain Kirk and Captain Picard ornaments are so large as to be unwieldy, Snoopy is in danger of getting swallowed up by the tree because he’s so small. He hangs just fine, but I have to be careful to put him in a prominent spot, lest I accidentally leave him dangling from the branch when the tree goes out. He’s too big for a miniature tree, of which we have a few, but he rests easily on a flat surface, so it also works well to set him in front of the tree on the piano or the table. Wherever he is, Literary Ace Snoopy is a welcome part of our Christmas celebration.
At my college graduation party, I gave away goodie bags stamped with the image of Snoopy on his typewriter. On my piano, I have a snowglobe with Snoopy hard at work on his next novel. But the beginning of my Snoopy the Writer collection was Hallmark’s Spotlight on Snoopy: Literary Ace ornament, which came out in 2002. Spotlight on Snoopy is a series of ornaments that started in 1998; we only have three, but I’d be tempted to get the rest online sometime. It’s hard to go wrong with Snoopy. But I’m glad to at least have my favorite.
Literary Ace Snoopy comes in a box that is absurdly large in proportion to the ornament itself. While Snoopy doesn’t measure more than two inches in any direction, the box is five inches tall, three and a half inches wide and two and a half inches deep. This leaves room for the large piece of molded plastic in which to place Snoopy when Christmas is over. Still, the size seems slightly misleading, though most Hallmark stores would have had the ornament on display for examination. I usually think of Hallmark boxes as being a deep red color, but Snoopy’s is bright blue, with beige on the front and back. While the front features a picture of the ornament, the back includes a descriptive verse: “Snoopy’s never at a loss / for clever words to write. / His latest novel starts: ‘It was a dark and stormy night.’”
In addition to the ornament, the box contains a “memory card”. This has a picture of the ornament on the front; on the back are “To” and “From” spots, along with several lines under “Holiday Memory 2002”. If the giver were so inclined, he or she could take the card out ahead of time and write a message in this space before returning it to the box. Or the recipient could fill in this portion after Christmas with a memory involving that person from the celebration that just passed or perhaps an explanation of why this ornament was probably chosen for them. There’s not a lot of space, just five lines of an inch and three quarters. But it’s enough room to jot something down, especially for those with small printing or handwriting. If you have a lot of ornaments with memory cards, you might want to put them in a special book or box instead of leaving them with the ornaments; that way, you can peruse them all at the same time.
Snoopy is usually a fairly solitary writer, barring objections from the likes of persnickety Lucy, but in this ornament, he has a friend to supervise his activities. While Snoopy sits with his “hands” poised over the keys, Woodstock perches on his left “foot”. Woodstock is bright yellow and wears a red scarf and green earmuffs. His eyes are tiny flat lines, and he has no mouth. Snoopy is all white, with the exception of his eyes, which, like Woodstock’s, look more like eyebrows; his round nose; and the outer portion of his floppy ears. There’s also a little black spot at the base of his tail, and though it isn’t easily visible when you look at him head-on, he is smiling. He wears a purple sweater, a green scarf and, just to make the ornament extra-Christmassy, a red Santa hat trimmed with white.
The typewriter is black with black keys that don’t look as though they actually have numbers and letters on them, though it’s difficult to see. On either side is a silver knob, and the paper is halfway through the mechanism. It’s also blank, which seems a bit odd; I would think that “It was a dark and stormy night” would be there for all the world to see, but perhaps they were afraid of water damage. The typewriter is entirely non-functional, but that’s probably for the best; I could see the piece of paper easily getting lost if it could be maneuvered back and forth.
While my Captain Kirk and Captain Picard ornaments are so large as to be unwieldy, Snoopy is in danger of getting swallowed up by the tree because he’s so small. He hangs just fine, but I have to be careful to put him in a prominent spot, lest I accidentally leave him dangling from the branch when the tree goes out. He’s too big for a miniature tree, of which we have a few, but he rests easily on a flat surface, so it also works well to set him in front of the tree on the piano or the table. Wherever he is, Literary Ace Snoopy is a welcome part of our Christmas celebration.
Vince Guaraldi Leads a Jazzy Trio in A Charlie Brown Christmas
Last night, I arrived home from work just in time to catch A Charlie Brown Christmas
on ABC. We have the special on DVD, but there’s something extra special
about watching it at a time when you know millions of other people are
watching it too. I sat down on the couch and let the refreshing
simplicity of the special wash over me. With that fresh in my mind, I
decided it was past time to listen to the Charlie Brown Christmas
soundtrack I borrowed from the library a while back. Listening to the
soothing melodies of the Vince Guaraldi Trio - with composer Guaraldi on
the piano, Monty Budwig on the bass and Colin Bailey on the drums - is a
perfect way to spend 40 minutes on a dreary winter day.
O Tannenbaum begins as a fairly straightforward reading of the traditional carol on the piano, but then the bass and drums join in and the piano takes on a jazzy quality before going off on a melodic tangent that only occasionally seems to have any direct similarity to the tune. Gradually, the loud brightness of the midsection fades into a much softer tone, recalling Charlie Brown and Linus bypassing all the flashy trees for the humble little bent-over pine.
What Child is This takes a moment to become recognizable, but once it does, it is more straightforward than the previous track, with just the occasional change to the rhythm and little alteration to the melody until the song nears the two-minute mark. At that point, it goes off in a different direction, ending the song in rather unfamiliar territory.
Hark, the Herald Angels Sing features so-soft-it’s-barely-audible organ music as the children hum the melody. Then the accompaniment grows louder as the children switch over to singing, concluding the track with a nice bit of high harmony.
Fur Elise, the shortest track, is the Beethoven song so readily associated with piano prodigy Schroeder. Just the piano here, and no fancy flourishes. Though it doesn’t quite fit with the style of most of the tracks, as a musical representation of Schroeder, it’s perfect.
The Christmas Song allows Guaraldi more opportunity to have fun with the piano. Though he doesn’t stray far from the basic tune, he plays it with a jazzy flair, with a bit of soft help now and then from the bass and a big dramatic finish.
Greensleeves is the final track on the album and the longest of the “traditional” tracks. Just before the two-minute mark, it ceases to sound much like Greensleeves and becomes an opportunity for Guaraldi to play around on the piano, though hints of the tune return from time to time, as well as possible nods to other songs. Around the three and a half minute mark, the basic melody returns, for the most part, for the remainder of the song.
My Little Drum gives credit to Guaraldi instead of merely noting that he did the arrangement, but this song, which also features some very soft background vocals by children, is quite obviously a riff on The Little Drummer Boy.
Christmas Time Is Here appears in two forms. The first is purely instrumental, while the second features the voices of young children. This song is one of the two most recognized songs from the special. It evokes innocence and simple childhood pleasures, like a line of children skating across a frozen pond. The instrumental version is twice as long as the other, but I think I prefer it to the vocal version. I’ve always found something slightly creepy about all those high voices singing this together. Also, I love how at the end of the instrumental version, the piano imitates the mandolin. “Christmas time is here / Happiness and cheer / Fun for all, what children call the greatest time of year.”
Skating captures the whimsy of Snoopy and the children as they glide, sometimes gracefully, sometimes not. Toward the middle the track gets an almost country flavor to it, while the melody reminds me a bit of Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Christmas Is Coming is a bit louder than most of the tracks, focusing on the energy of anticipation. It’s the last of the original Guaraldi compositions on the album, and it shifts tone a couple of times to encompass different reactions to the holiday.
By far the most iconic track on the album is Linus and Lucy, which is synonymous not only with A Charlie Brown Christmas but with Charlie Brown, period. I hear the lively piano tune in my head when I read Peanuts comic books or even just the strip in the Sunday paper. Poor Charlie Brown gets cheated out of his own theme song, with the supporting Van Pelts stealing the limelight from him; somehow, that seems very fitting! Like most of the tracks here, it deviates from the main melody a couple of times, but that just makes me appreciate it all the more when it comes back. I like the tune so much that it’s the only ringtone I’ve ever had on my cell phone. It’s a lucky thing my phone doesn’t ring much, since listening to Schroeder pound away on that piano makes me want to get up and dance like Snoopy.
That’s the kind of reaction Ralph J. Gleason describes in his liner notes when he talks about the difficulty of paying homage to someone else’s artistic expression with art of one’s own. “He took his inspiration from the creations of Charles Schulz and made music that reflects that inspiration, is empathetic with the image and is still solidly and unmistakably Vince Guaraldi,” Gleason writes. How very true. I can’t hear this music without thinking of Charlie Brown, and I can’t think of Charlie Brown without hearing this music.
O Tannenbaum begins as a fairly straightforward reading of the traditional carol on the piano, but then the bass and drums join in and the piano takes on a jazzy quality before going off on a melodic tangent that only occasionally seems to have any direct similarity to the tune. Gradually, the loud brightness of the midsection fades into a much softer tone, recalling Charlie Brown and Linus bypassing all the flashy trees for the humble little bent-over pine.
What Child is This takes a moment to become recognizable, but once it does, it is more straightforward than the previous track, with just the occasional change to the rhythm and little alteration to the melody until the song nears the two-minute mark. At that point, it goes off in a different direction, ending the song in rather unfamiliar territory.
Hark, the Herald Angels Sing features so-soft-it’s-barely-audible organ music as the children hum the melody. Then the accompaniment grows louder as the children switch over to singing, concluding the track with a nice bit of high harmony.
Fur Elise, the shortest track, is the Beethoven song so readily associated with piano prodigy Schroeder. Just the piano here, and no fancy flourishes. Though it doesn’t quite fit with the style of most of the tracks, as a musical representation of Schroeder, it’s perfect.
The Christmas Song allows Guaraldi more opportunity to have fun with the piano. Though he doesn’t stray far from the basic tune, he plays it with a jazzy flair, with a bit of soft help now and then from the bass and a big dramatic finish.
Greensleeves is the final track on the album and the longest of the “traditional” tracks. Just before the two-minute mark, it ceases to sound much like Greensleeves and becomes an opportunity for Guaraldi to play around on the piano, though hints of the tune return from time to time, as well as possible nods to other songs. Around the three and a half minute mark, the basic melody returns, for the most part, for the remainder of the song.
My Little Drum gives credit to Guaraldi instead of merely noting that he did the arrangement, but this song, which also features some very soft background vocals by children, is quite obviously a riff on The Little Drummer Boy.
Christmas Time Is Here appears in two forms. The first is purely instrumental, while the second features the voices of young children. This song is one of the two most recognized songs from the special. It evokes innocence and simple childhood pleasures, like a line of children skating across a frozen pond. The instrumental version is twice as long as the other, but I think I prefer it to the vocal version. I’ve always found something slightly creepy about all those high voices singing this together. Also, I love how at the end of the instrumental version, the piano imitates the mandolin. “Christmas time is here / Happiness and cheer / Fun for all, what children call the greatest time of year.”
Skating captures the whimsy of Snoopy and the children as they glide, sometimes gracefully, sometimes not. Toward the middle the track gets an almost country flavor to it, while the melody reminds me a bit of Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Christmas Is Coming is a bit louder than most of the tracks, focusing on the energy of anticipation. It’s the last of the original Guaraldi compositions on the album, and it shifts tone a couple of times to encompass different reactions to the holiday.
By far the most iconic track on the album is Linus and Lucy, which is synonymous not only with A Charlie Brown Christmas but with Charlie Brown, period. I hear the lively piano tune in my head when I read Peanuts comic books or even just the strip in the Sunday paper. Poor Charlie Brown gets cheated out of his own theme song, with the supporting Van Pelts stealing the limelight from him; somehow, that seems very fitting! Like most of the tracks here, it deviates from the main melody a couple of times, but that just makes me appreciate it all the more when it comes back. I like the tune so much that it’s the only ringtone I’ve ever had on my cell phone. It’s a lucky thing my phone doesn’t ring much, since listening to Schroeder pound away on that piano makes me want to get up and dance like Snoopy.
That’s the kind of reaction Ralph J. Gleason describes in his liner notes when he talks about the difficulty of paying homage to someone else’s artistic expression with art of one’s own. “He took his inspiration from the creations of Charles Schulz and made music that reflects that inspiration, is empathetic with the image and is still solidly and unmistakably Vince Guaraldi,” Gleason writes. How very true. I can’t hear this music without thinking of Charlie Brown, and I can’t think of Charlie Brown without hearing this music.
Bette Midler Turns Her Talents Toward Christmas With Cool Yule
I’ve enjoyed several movies featuring Bette Midler and am well aware of
her musical talents, but I never sat down and listened to an entire
album of hers before. Getting into Christmas mode inspired me to do just
that when I discovered Cool Yule, which came out in 2006. While
most of the tracks on the album are pretty peppy, it’s the slower songs
that really showcase her vocal abilities.
Merry Christmas is a soft, cozy sort of song full of tinkling chimes, rippling harp notes and violins. It’s a very soothing way to start off the album, and it also makes it feel like she’s standing right there in the room as she sings, “Hang a wish from me / on your Christmas tree / for a very merry Christmastime.”
Cool Yule is a very jazzy, piano-driven song filled with lingo like “cat,” “dig” and “groovy”. A brassy interlude midway through adds to the fun of this throwback to Louis Armstrong. “He'll come a callin' when the snows the most / When all you cats are sleepin' warm as toast / And you're gonna flip when Old Saint Nick / Takes a lick on a peppermint stick.”
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and I’ll Be Home for Christmas are separated by only one track, which is a medley. I think it would have made a lot of sense to put these two slow, wistful songs together as well. Both include the introductory portions that are often left out, which makes them sound even more complementary. I like the latter version a bit better because of the instrumentation, which includes some nice flute work reminiscent of birdsong. Both are pleasant, but I think I would’ve preferred them in one track.
Winter Wonderland / Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! includes a new introduction in which Bette melodically addresses Johnny Mathis, her singing partner for the track who she describes as “the King of Christmas.” The two songs, which are chipper reflections on winter rather than Christmas, go well together, as do the voices of the two singers. Piano and brass are prominent throughout this very upbeat number.
What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? also includes an introduction I hadn’t heard before, though I’m not sure if it’s new to this album. This track is slow and smooth, with a jazzy feel to it accentuated by the piano and the steady percussion. This is a natural choice to bring out the seductive quality of Bette’s voice. I’ve never been a huge fan of the song, but her rendition is nice.
I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm is another song with a romantic theme, this one with a much more confident speaker than the last, though Bette doesn’t sound so vulnerable on the last track as the lyrics might indicate. In any event, the two tracks go together well, except that this one is much peppier. It also includes a brief musical quote of Baby It’s Cold Outside, along with some fun finger-snapping.
O Come, O Come Emmanuel seems strangely out of place here, since it’s the first religious song on the album, and the only traditional one. But Bette sings it beautifully, while violins and guitars and eventually a choir add to the loveliness of the track. Bette adds a lot of grace notes to her version, which I sometimes find annoying, but I think it works well here.
Mele Kalikimaka begins with a couple of lines from a really annoying high-voiced chorus, but the main song, a faced-paced ukulele-driven number, is fun, and the male chorus isn’t nearly as grating as its female chorus. Kind of a goofy song, but I like it, especially since it always reminds me of LOST.
From a Distance (Christmas Version) begins with instrumental lines from The Little Drummer Boy and O Come All Ye Faithful before going into the main song, which features chimes and a variety of other delicate instruments, along with brief appearances by the Uillean Pipes and Irish whistle. The song goes on to quote from Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard on High and Joy to the World. A Christmas-ized version of one of her biggest hits, this lovely, heartening song is my favorite track on the album. “From a distance / There is harmony / Do you hear it echo through the land? / It's the song of joy / It's the song of peace / It's the heart of every man / In the season of / Universal love / This is the song of every man.”
White Christmas ends the album on a soft tone that makes a good bookend to the beginning, as it again feels like Bette is directly addressing the listener. It also fits very nicely with her liner notes, which feature silver snowflakes falling against a white backdrop.
Bette Midler is a wonderful vocalist. She may be a little too aware of that; the liner notes have an annoying self-congratulatory ring about them, and there’s something slightly sacrilegious-sounding about calling oneself “Divine” on a Christmas album. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it that way, though, and a few paragraphs down she comes across as humble as she dedicates the album to a dearly departed friend. I wish that she had done a few more sedate numbers like From a Distance, but all of the songs are excellently performed. Anyone who appreciates her style is bound to find a lot to love about Cool Yule.
Merry Christmas is a soft, cozy sort of song full of tinkling chimes, rippling harp notes and violins. It’s a very soothing way to start off the album, and it also makes it feel like she’s standing right there in the room as she sings, “Hang a wish from me / on your Christmas tree / for a very merry Christmastime.”
Cool Yule is a very jazzy, piano-driven song filled with lingo like “cat,” “dig” and “groovy”. A brassy interlude midway through adds to the fun of this throwback to Louis Armstrong. “He'll come a callin' when the snows the most / When all you cats are sleepin' warm as toast / And you're gonna flip when Old Saint Nick / Takes a lick on a peppermint stick.”
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and I’ll Be Home for Christmas are separated by only one track, which is a medley. I think it would have made a lot of sense to put these two slow, wistful songs together as well. Both include the introductory portions that are often left out, which makes them sound even more complementary. I like the latter version a bit better because of the instrumentation, which includes some nice flute work reminiscent of birdsong. Both are pleasant, but I think I would’ve preferred them in one track.
Winter Wonderland / Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! includes a new introduction in which Bette melodically addresses Johnny Mathis, her singing partner for the track who she describes as “the King of Christmas.” The two songs, which are chipper reflections on winter rather than Christmas, go well together, as do the voices of the two singers. Piano and brass are prominent throughout this very upbeat number.
What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? also includes an introduction I hadn’t heard before, though I’m not sure if it’s new to this album. This track is slow and smooth, with a jazzy feel to it accentuated by the piano and the steady percussion. This is a natural choice to bring out the seductive quality of Bette’s voice. I’ve never been a huge fan of the song, but her rendition is nice.
I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm is another song with a romantic theme, this one with a much more confident speaker than the last, though Bette doesn’t sound so vulnerable on the last track as the lyrics might indicate. In any event, the two tracks go together well, except that this one is much peppier. It also includes a brief musical quote of Baby It’s Cold Outside, along with some fun finger-snapping.
O Come, O Come Emmanuel seems strangely out of place here, since it’s the first religious song on the album, and the only traditional one. But Bette sings it beautifully, while violins and guitars and eventually a choir add to the loveliness of the track. Bette adds a lot of grace notes to her version, which I sometimes find annoying, but I think it works well here.
Mele Kalikimaka begins with a couple of lines from a really annoying high-voiced chorus, but the main song, a faced-paced ukulele-driven number, is fun, and the male chorus isn’t nearly as grating as its female chorus. Kind of a goofy song, but I like it, especially since it always reminds me of LOST.
From a Distance (Christmas Version) begins with instrumental lines from The Little Drummer Boy and O Come All Ye Faithful before going into the main song, which features chimes and a variety of other delicate instruments, along with brief appearances by the Uillean Pipes and Irish whistle. The song goes on to quote from Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard on High and Joy to the World. A Christmas-ized version of one of her biggest hits, this lovely, heartening song is my favorite track on the album. “From a distance / There is harmony / Do you hear it echo through the land? / It's the song of joy / It's the song of peace / It's the heart of every man / In the season of / Universal love / This is the song of every man.”
White Christmas ends the album on a soft tone that makes a good bookend to the beginning, as it again feels like Bette is directly addressing the listener. It also fits very nicely with her liner notes, which feature silver snowflakes falling against a white backdrop.
Bette Midler is a wonderful vocalist. She may be a little too aware of that; the liner notes have an annoying self-congratulatory ring about them, and there’s something slightly sacrilegious-sounding about calling oneself “Divine” on a Christmas album. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it that way, though, and a few paragraphs down she comes across as humble as she dedicates the album to a dearly departed friend. I wish that she had done a few more sedate numbers like From a Distance, but all of the songs are excellently performed. Anyone who appreciates her style is bound to find a lot to love about Cool Yule.
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